What was the most toxic relationship you've ever been in, how did you get out?

[Anonymous]

[nitsuj86]

Girl from California in her 30s, who claimed to be "like a guy" when it came to emotions and dating.

Had a fuck buddy when we started dating, and told me to be "honest", wasn't gonna stop seeing him until we were dating. Should have ended there. Her eyes were like crack to me though.

Dated for 2-3 weeks. Then called her to hang out. She said she had "plans" (with the other guy later), but we could get dinner. I said, "So you want me to take you to dinner, and then drop you off to hang out with/fuck some other guy? " Should have ended there. And it did, we got in a fight she ended things.

A month later, couldn't stop thinking about her. Called her up, and we started seeing each other again. I was sleeping with another woman, she got jealous and wanted to date exclusively now. We are boyfriend and girlfriend.

After that. She dumped me once for posting an Instagram story with 69 joke. My battery percentage was at 69% and I posted a story saying optimal battery life. She thought it was immature. Dumped me. Should have ended there.

I convinced her to stay, that it was dumb. dated for a solid few months with no issues really. Then one day out to lunch she mentioned she has still been chatting with the "fuck buddy" and that she wanted to remain friends, for future "business" reasons. Apparently, he had more money than me, and my suspicion is he didn't want to date her.

Turned into a big fight, she ended up dumping me, and then going on a date with that guy. Kept me around for months after, to fuck and mess with when she was lonely.

Called me before a date I had, I canceled to see her. Fucked. She then kicked me out, and blocked me when I tried to get back with her. Found out after she "messed around" with a guy that day before she called me and fucked me after.

Finally led to a final fight, where she invited me out on her bday, was texting other dudes because we were broken up, I called her a cunt later that night and she slapped me.

She got engaged to some navy guy 2 months later. It really fucked me up, and honestly, I just hope something really terrible happens to her. I will probably always hate that woman.

[msc545]

@nitsuj86 Jesus bro - you need a hazmat suit to be around a woman like this. Glad you got out and you are ok. You are ok, right?

[molonski2]

One piece of advice , never wish ill on another , you will carry that bad karma with you.
Reading though all that , you can hardly just blame her , you were just as bad and stupid , its 50/50 and it wasn't meant to be , so drop those poor wishes for the sake of yourself and sanity.

[Juxtapose]

@molonski2 oh there are plenty of people on this Earth who deserve to die, don't kid yourself. Like these people that rape kids and infect them with aids? Fucking just kill them, they are human garbage.

[molonski2]

@Juxtapose hahaha , lot of pain there mate , I will leave that agony with you..
Good luck , you will certainly need it to fine Zen.. all the best , have a nice day :)

[Juxtapose]

Soft people like you make the world worse. If somebody is doing something like raping children, they are irredeemable and deserve to die.

[nitsuj86]

@molonski2 How about I drop deez nuts in your mouth? Lol. Didn’t ask If I was at fault or not. That wasn’t the question, but I’m sure you feel better about yourself now huh? lol.

Never asked for your advice either. I’ll hate who I want to hate.

[molonski2]

55555 -- too much , have a nice day , hold you karma if you will..

OMG , what an uptight dude , relax , sabai sabai.

[marhabadude91]

My hovered around me untill she stripped my friends from me and distanced my co-workers and haressed and threatened me of false police complaints untill she got me terminated from my job and she was so toxic that's she gossiped about me to my co-workers and revealed all my family secrets and she even streched the truth as in "if he does lose this job it doesn't matter as his dad is a rich man after all he's riding a car on his dad's money" 🤦 my dad isn't a rich guy and I was working very hard to sustain my job and here she comes and bad abouts me by sneaking into my workplace, my ex was the reason why i couldn't finish my graduation on time and i was jobless for 6yrs and finally i landed a job in a good firm in 2019 and here she comes and turns my co-workers and my aquintances against me and in order to get me fired she dated each and every co-worker of mine and infact she solicited with my employer as well, it was her plan all along to get me fired as she felt entitled to my workplace but she was working elsewhere, now she left me with nothing, my family treats me as if i am the culprit instead of her, whoever comes in my vicinity she is driving them away.

[smashleyy]

I don’t like throwing the word narcissist around loosely since I feel it’s misused a lot today but everything I’ve educated myself on the subject describes me and my ex’s relationship from start to finish. A fucking cliche. I tried breaking it off with him countless times but I wasn’t strong enough to stick to it with all the manipulation going on and I didn’t have a good support system around me. After two longgg years the discard stage came and he finally *allowed* me to leave after he got a new narcissistic supply. People always say something along the lines of “I finally built up the courage to leave” when they get out of a toxic relationship but no one talks about the people that don’t find that courage and allow a relationship to completely destroy themselves. My last little bit of self respect I had went out the window after I begged my abuser to stay. Comparing who I was prior to us getting together and post breakup is enough in itself to make me cry. I thought I had power in that dynamic but I didn’t. I would have taken him back at the time of our break up even after everything he put me through. My self blame was through the roof. I only seen the “good” in our relationship and my own bad behaviour when we first split. At that point he could do no wrong in my eyes. I truly believed he was the loml, that I fumbled something amazing, and he was going to be someone I’d look back at with admiration in my old age (wish i could slap the shit out of that version of myself). Wasn’t until a year after the breakup that I allowed myself to remember everything, the good and bad. Came to the conclusion we weren't just a little toxic, it was outright abuse. I said out loud to myself after that realization “I loved him but what we were was not love. Loves not suppose to look or feel like that” after I said that a literal weight was lifted off my chest and I could finally take a full deep breath. It made me happy cry but was quickly followed by sadness once it hit me I was carrying that heavy weight for so long I didn’t notice it.

[gag37627]

Holy fk. Do people even read this

[smashleyy]

Nope. I ramble mainly for myself

[gag37627]

Make sense. But there are better ways, like talk to someone

[smashleyy]

Not ashamed of my past and I’m now pretty open about it and it took me a long time to get to that point. If what I have to say annoys you then block me, simple.

[gag37627]

Hey can you find the question I just posted

[Rei13]

I’ve honestly been in a few and my current relationship is probably the healthiest I’ve ever been in. My most toxic is probably the one I had with my mom. She suffers from undiagnosed depression and bipolar disorder, and I really wish she’d see a therapist. It was mostly the things she would say and it took me a long time to heal from that. I left after she threatened to call the police on me (don’t remember why tbh) and kicked me out of the house when it was raining. I didn’t have shoes or anyone to call at the time. I was able to go back inside after an hour or so. I moved in with my sister after that. It got me out of the main environment but she was still in my life. I had problems with relationships for awhile. My first boyfriend was fine but my second boyfriend in particular was extremely toxic and I had a hard time being the bad guy and breaking up with him. It felt like I was dating my mom and the things he would say to me reminded me of the things my mom would say to inflict pain. I think what helped me was getting out of the environment initially and later going to therapy myself to deal with my own problems. I had huge abandonment issues and a lot of self esteem issues (not appearance but feelings of not being enough/not worthy of love etc). Therapy helped me realize I did have good coping mechanisms and then taught me new ones

[DaveJord]

Holy sheeit, man. There's not enough time or space on this comments section to answer this question in detail.

Bottom line, be true to you. You know when you're in a good situation and you are happy, and you know when you are in a bad situation and unhappy... and you know when you are in a troubled situation, and it will never end well. So, stay true to you, the juice is seldom worth the squeeze if you got to ask this question.

For me, how did I get out of them... 22-year marriage I cut her money in half, and she filed on me. Which honestly, I wanted her to do.

The other one I just straight told her, "Your patterns of behavior have become too much for me to accept or deal with. I promised myself that I would never allow myself to be emotionally manipulated or abused again... and that is exactly what you are doing, and I promised myself never again."

At that point she completely lost her shit and turned into a demon spawn of satin. As I learned later you never tell a true narcissist they are not worth the trouble, or that they are not good enough. I guess it sends them off the deep end, but I am so glad I did. It only proved to me how right I was.

[jennifer_bloom]

The most toxic relationship I’ve ever been in was my abusive mother and the second worst relationship I’ve been in is my abusive dad. My mother has Alzheimer’s and might die or be severely brain damaged soon.

[itsalyssaagain]

Oh man… I don’t know. There’s a few.


The first one I was on and off for 2 years with a really insecure guy who also happened to be a drug dealer.


He hid that from me but it was very obvious and I overlooked it because I was very attached to him emotionally.


It was toxic because he would ghost me for weeks. If I didn’t pick up the phone he’d swear at me. If I was with friends he would make it his mission to ruin my time and make me cry.


-
The second one was with a narcissist. Apart from cheating on me the entire relationship, he gaslit me and manipulated me and basically controlled me.


By far the worst experience I’ve had and I lost a lot of weight and went on prescription meds.


I was young and inexperienced compared to him and I guess he took full advantage of that.


-
The last one was with a guy who was also an avoidant. He wasn’t as bad as the other 2 because he really did love me for me.


We couldn’t meet each other’s needs because we were both emotionally damaged and unavailable.


This catalysed for a lot of fights and hurt on both sides. We both know there was love for each other but it would never work.

[itsalyssaagain]

I broke up with and blocked all 3 of them ^

[Anonymous]

Most toxic relationship I was in was I used to work with an ex. He was going through a divorce at the time and I didn’t think anything of it. We spent a little over 6 months together. Told me everything I wanted to hear. We got into a little fight because I called him on Christmas Eve and he didn’t answer. I was at least expecting a text on Christmas but I didn’t get anything. He then called me the next day and I wasn’t yelling at him but I told him that it would’ve been nice to hear from him and he literally said I can’t even give you an excuse because I wasn’t even doing anything. I forgave him as we both had a little work to do but then I didn’t hear from him for about a week. I sent him a Snapchat and he said that he needed time. Three weeks later he went out of state and found another girl. So much for your time. The shitty thing with that was that he was still playing mind games with me. Honestly I could’ve handled it just fine and everything as I did enjoy my job over there. It was a major safety issue so that’s why I left.

[molonski2]

Ohh , I've had a couple of shockers , the worst was an incredibly attractive Indian ( mature aged ) student , when I was around 38 years , she was a phyco , to use the word possessive is an understatement , aggressive , physically abusive , frightening individual , when I look back at those old photos I can see all the massive stress I was under , around others she acted like a princess , and being incredible looking , people would say " Ohh Dave , come on. you and -- really , look at her " , it was an impossible situation. How did I get rid of her? Thank Fck , her Visa expired and she had to go back to Singapore , where she ended up marrying some per Aussie finance guy , and straight away spat one out to control the mark , poor bloke , as this one will never change.

[Justmeagain1]

5 years.. I’m still stuck here in their house as I have no place to go. we are not together. Working on getting out. They treat me good on days no body is around and give me normal communication and flirting with me , still have behaviour like when we were together then when others are around they a dismissive but to the outsiders they are a social angel- it’s the stuff only a partner would know or pick up on. It’s hard to try and stay mentally stable with dopamine and cortisol levels bouncing every where.

[exitseven]

i had met a girl in a bar. She was the bartender and i went back the next night and asked her out. She was the opposite of all the other girls i ever dated. She was abused as a kid and she was maybe bi polar. she would go off on me sometimes , especially when she was drunk which was a lot. Once she bit me so hard I still have the scar. She could be so sweet sometimes though. she told me she loved me. I wanted her to see a shrink and she got angry and left. I tried to call her a few times and she never answered my calls. i finally drove over to where she was living. she was staying with a friend and her boyfriend. They told me she moved out and they didn;t know where she went. i never heard from her again.

[Anonymous]

For three years I was in contact with such a person who used to torture me a lot. I met him only once. There was a long distance connection. He was a liar and a deceiver. He was very cruel. He was also in contact with other girls. He used to doubt me that I was cheating when he was cheating himself. He kept torturing me mentally and emotionally. If there was no long distance, he would have tortured me physically. When I got fed up and left him, he married someone else with whom he had been having an affair for I don't know how many years because he had a love marriage. I was very broken. I took help from God. A lot of worship and patience helped me to heal.

[Ms_Facesitter]

Family. I pleaded to listen to me just once, because it was getting worse and worse. I only hear "sorry will never do it again, yes, I understand". Eight hours later, it happens again. I had no expectation anymore and made a list of things to take with me once I decided to leave. Few days later something really bad happens again because my advice was ignored, and during that commotion I just packed my bags and left.

[Unit1]

Very familiar story 😮‍💨
I had the same happening except its 10 minutes later it happened again. Its like the things i say i might as well talk to a wall. Planning in secret and money was the escape route.
Needless to say i have left as well. For good.

[Ms_Facesitter]

@Unit1 It sucks that moving out had to go like this. I thought it was going to be a happier event. It's definitely something to celebrate but I wished that it wasn't for this reason.

[Unit1]

I know what you mean. In any case its ultimately our survival instincts we have followed for good reasons. We both know there was no other way and we didn't chose to be born by degenerates.

[Ms_Facesitter]

@Unit1 There is a user called Emmy something who called me a liar for not having dated super attractive men... who are players. If you've been in a toxic relationship growing up, it makes it pretty easy to see past the "pretty face" and do some research instead to protect yourself from hurt and disappointment. No idea why not dating players is considered weird 😂

[Unit1]

I am not taking those individuals any more serious than smokers taking their health serious.

[Finchie40]

My ex wife , the fucked up thing was I should of stepped out earlier but my heart was thinking things would get better and we could work things out , I didn’t want to go through divorce and my kids having split parents , so I put up with her selfish toxic behavior for quite sometime , the only thing that helped me finally leave her was I busted her cheating on me , that was my final straw to end it , part of me wishes I kicked her out way before that to be honest

[Anonymous]

It all probably starts with my mom who said the only reason I was born was because she couldn’t afford an abortion, and not doing it was the worst mistake of her life. Between substance abuse, neglect, her never ending parade of boyfriends, accusing me of trying to steal her boyfriend when I was six, and then calling me a slut when one beat me and did stuff to me a few years later we had a lot of problems.

With that kind of start I guess it’s not strange that my other relationships are also pretty messed up. I don’t know if I am capable of actually loving someone or being loved. But at least I finally learned I didn’t deserve the things people did to me.

[Bricealan]

Never termed any relationship, as 'toxic' per se, as toxic is poison... I have had relationships that were what I would call troublesome, in that they involved alcoholism with a very pretty woman that I met at PWP. I simply told her I could not continue to see her with her drinking and we broke it off. Very sad for me but necessary.

[CreatingWonders]

With my ex, she’s a narcissist and abusive, she was fine at the start then as the months went past she started and became unbearable, she’d hit me, lie to me, try to control me and threaten me while calling me names all under the guise of joking which I knew was all balls, the final nail was when her friend told me she wanted sexual contact with a 13 year old I tried to get out and she threatened to set the house on fire and get me beaten up, it went on for a few more months as I was scared she then tried to stab me I was scared for my life to be honest. I was playing my Pokémon game and she wanted to phone me she wouldn’t even let me have an hour to myself, I asked if she could wait she said ok but then came back with “good job I’m not having a meltdown then init” and I just flipped out I thought f**k you and I just refused to talk to her anymore wouldn’t let her in either I called the police on her and I’m getting an order out on her now, as she’s stalking me.

[Unit1]

my parents and family.

i got out by staying low until i was an adult, got a job, made money, improved my qualifications and then moved out to live alone and cease all communications with them. The fog of war is my friend.

At 27 years i moved to another country, so they physically can't reach me. I have not told them.

I am Hoping to find a girlfriend. Their invasive nosiness and judgments and making things worse is not possible to exercise.

[Anonymous]

My Most recent one. It was both a fairy tale like love story plus a bit toxic as well. I don't know what happened except one day, I woke up and just broke it off. I would have to say out of all the partners in my life and i have had many plus dates, This one I had left was the most toxic of all. I am still seething to him and also still hold a somewhat grudge.

[king34]

I was recently talking to this girl who had insane trust issues she didn't believe anything I said, and everything I told her about myself it was like being interrogated by a detective. She was selfish too.
Also my family relationships aren't too great either, won't go into detail.

[Mollynotgemma]

I’m in a relationship with a narcissist… just left and I’m scared and want to go back

[Asker]

If you're scared, why you want to go back?

[TooHot2Care]

girl was manipulative and thought I didn’t notice her shit, lied a lot and was comfortable cancelling our plans to go out and party without telling me. So , I did what any self respecting man would do.

I Just left.

deleted her insta.

stopped texting her.

ghosted her.

[Exterminatore]

Easily my ex wife. I divorced her, then went no contact. She was a pill addict who graduated to Heroin after her doctor cut her off. She then had an affair with her heroin dealer who was plotting to murder me along with her for life insurance money. She stole one of my pistols and gave it to him. The plan was to make it look like a murder suicide. I believe she was a sociopath or a narcissist.


She actually died last month in a half way house overdosed on something, poor as could be.

[Tiptoetamm]

Yes I have for 11 years slowly started shutting down one day I just woke up made a plan and left him without a word do me dirty and I'll fuck your life up