Why doesn’t my boyfriend take me out anywhere?

[Anonymous]

hi guys, my boyfriend of nine years barely takes me out anywhere. i asked him why he doesn’t and he says it’s because he doesn’t get any reward from it and that i’m boring. it makes me sad because he goes out with his friends and we don’t do anything. i can’t even have him go across the street with me to get breakfast, he would rather sleep, but he can go out with his friends by noon. with me he sleeps until 2 in the afternoon. let me tell you a little about our past. in the beginning of our relationship, i was so nice and so outgoing. if you see me now it’s a complete 180 turn. i don’t recognize myself. i’m not nice anymore because he used to like girls butt pictures and bikini pictures on social media, he DMed a bunch of girls telling them how pretty they are, he talked to this girl on facebook, he screen shot a bunch of girls pictures on his phone. i saw all this over the years and it turned me cold. i stayed because i always hoped that one day he will stop and change for me. in October of last year his instagram got blocked and no longer can get on. i was happy. in February i saw that he liked a butt picture of this girl on facebook and i couldn’t take it anymore. i was so sad about it, but i still had hope. unfortunately for me, all this could not leave my head or my heart. i became bitter, resentful, annoying, nagging and a b****. he made me feel that him doing all this was my fault. so i became very insecure in myself and hated who i was and hate him for it. but was he the one who was insecure all along? him doing all this while being with me a sign that he wasn’t ready for a relationship and stayed because he was selfish? could i have let the past go and be happy with him? i didn’t know how. could i broken up with him? yes, but i had hope. here we are, nine years in and he broke up with me today. i’m still wondering, why he stopped putting effort into taking us out and valued his friendships more than he did me. why?

[Leapfrog00]

You deserve so much better, seriously! You can do better than someone like that. If he really does expect something in return, if you do cave and give it to him, you are going to lose all respect for yourself.

I can tell you want something better than this because it's bothering you. There's an old expression "No guy is worth your tears and when you find the right one, he won't make you cry."

Him breaking up with you did you the biggest favor. It might hurt now, but it is feel this way. Honestly, 9 nine years is a long time, but trust me when I say this, this guy will only break your heart.

Find someone who cares about YOUR feelings, and listens to your opinions. I had a friend who was with a guy for 12 years and all he did was cheat on her and have sex with other girls, but she still defended him.

If anyone gives you advice to find someone better, please take it. This guy deserves nothing more than a girl who is going to do the same thing to him!

You'll find someone else. Just give yourself some time to heal, so you're not hanging on to a rebound out of desperation. When my ex broke up with me after 4 years, it only took me 3 months to get over her, but I understand it might be different than you. Take care of yourself and when you are ready, get together with someone who deserves you!

[Friendlybro79]

This wasn't meant to be and the hope you had, as sad as it is to say, was never going to change him. I'm sorry you didn't see this sooner but you have to take control of your happiness yourself and not place it solely in the hands of someone else. The writing was on the wall and you ignored it. Again I'm sorry and I know this is a tough time. This is an opportunity to learn from and to start working on your own self worth so next time you can recognize better a good man for you vs a man not worth your time.

[comekitty]

Reading this makes me so sad!

Girl, he truly did you a favor - you need better. Now, wipe those tears away and do something fun for yourself.

~ sending you big hugs 🩷

[Anonymous]

all i have to say is, you wasted 9 years with this deadbeat, don't waste any more and just break up.

[Opinion Owner]

i will say another helpful thing. you should get therapy. this dude has messed with your emotions for far too long, i just know you are struggling. take care!

[teamvic]

Because y'all lost feelings for eachother. Plus the dude was tryna cheat. WHy miss him anyway.

[888theGreat]

What does it say about you that you stayed with him? Sounds like you are lacking in self confidence.

[Asker]

yes i don’t have self confidence at all.

[Anonymous]

He's a cheap bastard?