How to give support and reassurance to a men who has depression?

[Anonymous]

I am seeing this guy who has depression and is sometimes thinking about committing suicide one day. We like each other but decided to not make it official because he is not ready for a relationship and I don't want to pressure him. His reason is because he can't risk hurting me. He said if he did he will kill himself. He also keeps telling me I will leave him because he is so replaceable.

I know he didn't choose to be depressed and therefore I want to be supportive for him. We both know there are better people out there but I really like this man and I am willing to try everything for him knowing that he might never be ready. Right now I need advice on how to support him when he's feeling low, how to give him reassurance that I'm not going to leave him easily.

I tried to not overthink but sometimes I'm still worried: did I make myself a burden to him because I am the one causing these conflicts inside him?

p. s. I know some of you will suggest therapy. He used to go but stopped because it didn't make him feel better or worse. I don't think couples counselling is the solution for now either.

Thanks for readying till the end and I appreciate any advice.

[stepyo99]

As long as he's willing to work on his mental issues, then I would say it's fine sticking it out. The problem is that sometimes people just give up and there's not much you can do about that. He said therapy wasn't working, but is he doing anything to try to treat his depression? Working out? Diet changes? Trying to develop hobbies? Talking over the issues with you or someone else close to him?

The worst thing for him is to wallow in his depression, but if he insists on doing that, there isn't a whole lot you or anyone else can do for him until he decides to make an effort to get better. My main fear would be tying yourself down to somebody who has given up. As much as you might like him, you also have to take care of yourself as well and since you guys aren't married or even officially dating, you don't really owe him anything either. Just be cautious.

[Anonymous]

Either he's full of it and manipulating you or if it's legit. He needs PROFESSIONAL help. Not your help. No healthy relationship cam come out of this current situation don't even try. You can support him while he gets help.

[Nikki1989]

Yes, therapy, but be a good listener for him. He needs you.

[Iron_Man]

Just be there for him. Do a lot of up beat lifting things.

[In_Trance]

Unless you're a certified professional, you can't