Have you ever loved someone so much that you would desperately try to fix them while they were breaking you?

[TrillXHippy]

[dynamicyandere]

Yup. I’ve been there a handful of times.


Where your needs aren’t being met and you’re being mistreated, but you’re setting your own feelings aside to try to help and heal someone you love, even though they are toxic, right?


They hurt you, but you take the pain, because you want to save them.


You don’t want to give up on them because you hope that your love will be enough to change them for the better.


You’re a giver and you’ll continue to give until you have nothing left to give. And maybe, they’ll finally come around and understand how much you care for them. Maybe then, their wounds will finally heal.


I’ve been there. It’s not sustainable. (Unless it is…)


Basically, you need to ask yourself if you can continue with this, even if it never ends.


Every relationship has its hardships. Every relationship requires some level of sacrifice. And some relationships require more sacrifice than others.


If the relationship is hard, but you genuinely believe it’s worth it, then you can stay if you also genuinely believe that you can keep this up until the day you die (your decision).


However, if you feel it eating away at you, draining the life out of you, and you just know that eventually you won’t be able to take anymore, AND they aren’t willing to change or making any progress, then it’s definitely time to leave. Because that’s not sustainable and you will only hurt the BOTH of you more, if you stay.


At that point, they need therapy, not a boyfriend/girlfriend.


And if you love them, sometimes letting them go IS the most loving thing you can do, because that’s the only way they can learn and grow or get the help they need.


If you know it’s unsustainable, it’s best to let go. You two can still cherish your fond memories together, before the unsustainable relationship becomes something that breeds resentment.


End on good terms, while you still can, and care for them from afar.


Sometimes, that’s the best thing you can do for them.

[BCA6010]

Yep.

It's a big mistake but unfortunately I'm pretty bad at giving up on relationships and had convinced myself my efforts were worthwhile.

[Ms_Facesitter]

No I don't love blindly. I have always been careful and none of my exes were horrible. The worst that happened was one leaving me for another, only for that relationship to fail soon after.

[DizzyDesii]

Yep... 4 dudes from diff year ago immediately came to mind

[DizzyDesii]

I stopped trying to fix people after 2020. It wasn't worth it

[ChiTown33]

I think most of us guys have been there before dude. There's nothing wrong with caring about someone. But once this has happened to you learn to recognize the warning signs so it doesn't happen to you again.

[God_of_Thunder]

Yep... and that was part of why my last relationship ended.

She broke me, before I could fix her.

[Christoff92]

It's very hard depending on that person. Loving him/her realistic wise is a wonderful thing to cherish. But he/she ego wise can't work out period.

So not going to work out sorry 😐

[Nikki1989]

I would never be with someone if I thought they needed fixing.

[gothbxtch]

that sounds very unhealthy, i hope you’re not going through it!

[BoopBoopBeep]

Yep. Ten years. Never again.

[mandyfire98]

Yes, I dated a covert narcissist in college.

[KrakenAttackin]

Absolutely and it is always a losing strategy.

[itsalyssaagain]

Yeah…never again.

[annabananna]

Yea I did that once

[LavLavLuv]

No..