So i've been seeing this guy for a few months casually and recently i've felt he's been getting serious about us so i popped the question to make it official and like the other times he said no. He'd get jealous if i started liking someone else if i slept with someone else he's be mad but he doesn't want a relationship cause he's not in the right mental state for one but he clearly knows how i feel, i feel like he should have rejected me before this whole thing started if he knew he wouldn't change his mind, this whole casual relationship isn't my thing but i was willing o try it for him, i just felt like it was waste of time but lesson learnt. Not all nice guys are worth going the extra mile for especially when his dumb excuse for you guys sleeping together this whole year was 'i was looking out for you so you wouldn't get run through by a million guys and not know who the dad is' which spells out to me your a great person and i didn't want to let you go to find someone that deserves you and can reciprocate your energy. Now i just feel like shit.
Is this not selfish?
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He’s always been selfish, you just chose to keep seeing him, and you’ve got to take accountability for your part in that. So much of what I read is pointing the finger: he should have rejected me before, he gets jealous if I hook up with someone else, he doesn’t want a relationship. What about you? Why didn’t you end things the first time he said he didn’t wanna get serious rather than make excuses because he’s “nice”? Nice does not always equal being a good partner, and the sooner you learn to differentiate the two, the better off you’ll be. I am happy to see you can look at this as a lesson learned, and all you can do going forward is protect yourself and try make better choices. Sure you can call his actions selfish but you can only do it in the same breathe you’d have to call yourself gullible and relatively naive for putting up with him regardless of every red flag you swept aside. You let your feelings for him overpower logical, practical choices, it’s ok we have all been there at some point. You’ve learned who he is, you know for a fact he will not commit, now close that door and walk away.
I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling hurt and disappointed in your current situation. It can be incredibly frustrating when the expectations and desires in a relationship don't align. It sounds like you were hoping for a more committed and serious relationship, while he has made it clear that he's not ready for that kind of commitment at the moment.
It's important to remember that you deserve to be with someone who values and reciprocates your feelings and energy. If a casual relationship isn't what you truly want, it's essential to communicate your needs and boundaries clearly. If he isn't able or willing to meet those needs, it might be necessary to reevaluate whether continuing the relationship is the right choice for you.
It's completely natural to feel upset and disappointed after investing time and emotions into a relationship that didn't turn out as you hoped. Take some time to process your feelings and reflect on what you want and deserve in a partnership. Surround yourself with supportive friends and loved ones who can provide comfort and understanding during this time.
Remember, not all relationships are meant to last, and it's okay to prioritize your own happiness and well-being. Keep an open mind and heart, and eventually, you'll find someone who appreciates you for who you are and can meet your emotional needs.
im confused, did y'all agree to commitment or not?