I’m 16 and my boyfriend (17) of a year wants to have sex. I’m not ready and don’t think I’ll be until I’m at least 18. What should I do?

[Anonymous]

(i made this account in a hurry so please ignore the age i don’t really know the age requirement here i just wanted advice)

my boyfriend is incredibly kind hearted and thoughtful, he’d never push me into anything I wasn’t ready for but, he doesn’t think before he acts and he’s very eager and mature. He also spends most of his time with people older than him with much more mature relationships where sex is normal and happened pretty early on. We’ve already been dating for a year and about a year ago (maybe about a month in) i had a talk with him that I wasn’t ready to move forward physically with anything more than cuddling and “real kissing.” for good bit of time because he was moving a bit faster than I expected and I was and still am I very youthful person and wanted to preserve my innocence.

He was respectful of that but i know he wants to go farther now. Even after our first real kiss that went beyond js a peck I felt like i was keeping a secret from my parents and it just felt scary honestly even though i wasn’t forced or upset and such and i just felt scared we might escalate to something I wasn’t ready for. I don’t wanna have sex till i’m at least out of my parents home but that’s going to be a while i’m still only about to be a junior and he’s about to graduate. He’s already waited a long time and I just feel bad i’m conflicted and scared. What should I do?

[Anonymous]

You dump him because you are not compatible with each other.

He wants sex you dont it is literally no different that if he wanted cats and you wanted dogs.

The mistake you made which many people make is that you allowed yourself to get involved with someone you shouldn't have and now there are feelings to get hurt.

Let this be a learning experience for you and in future make sure to screen potential partners more carefully to make sure that you want the same things etc.

Clearly this is absolutely not want you wanted to hear but it remains true regardless.

[Anonymous]

Don't have sex with him. Satisfy him in other ways.

1. Let him masturbate in front of him maybe showing him your boobs.

2. Dry humping. Just grind yourself against his dick until he cums. Many ways to do this. You can both be fully dressed or not at all. My first girlfriend used wear a dress and just panties and grind on top of my naked penis or twerk until I orgasmed.

3. Mutual masturbation. Just you both masturbating together.

4. Blowjob or handjob or combined. Most girls giving a handjob I find end up using their mouth or having me finish because their arms get tired.

5. Thighjob. Its where he puts his penis between your thighs and thrusts like he was penetrating you until he orgasms.

6. Anal. Its a good way to keep your virginity for your wedding night. Lube is a must or butter if you are stuck, be sure to take a dump first.

7. Send him a pic of you. Non-nude if you want. Maybe I'm a bikini or swimsuit.

[NoFollowReqestPlz]

Why do you want to wait until you are out of your parents home before you have sex? Are they strict? You don't have to answer.

I will say, If you aren't ready be honest with him. If he loves you and cares about you, he will be understanding of this. Don't force yourself to do something you don't feel ready to do so.

[Asker]

I don’t think any parent wants to have their child to have underage sex. I don’t think i’d ever feel comfortable coming back home and sleeping in my childhood bed knowing i did something like that.

my parents aren’t super religious or strict they allow me a lot of freedom but they don’t want me having sex in high school and i think the least i can do is respect that. that’s also considering my parents love us together and have done a lot of really great things for us taken us on trips together and given us a lot of of freedom relationship wise because we’re not overly sexual and honest.

I’d also have to tell my doctor i’m sexually actively which would be uncomfortable. over all of just feel like i’d be keeping a big secret, i’d rather wait till i have my own space and i wouldn’t be breaking rules.

[Asker]

sorry for the long explanation

[LazerBean]

Tbh honest you best choice is to jump him. You don't share values and your relationship is not going to work out to be anything good or permanent. He's already too damaged to be a husband or father anyway.

[lightbulb27]

The answer is no, followed by more no's.

If he cannot respect that, then break up so he can find someone else that meets his needs.

A simple solution is to borrow a baby that just overate milk and hand it to him so he understands the risks.

Everyone wants what they want, but hen they start talking consequences and responsibility, then I listen.

p. s. the kissing may be part of the problem, so back off that.

[Honest-Matt]

Your beliefs are valid, don't compromise and who you are, at least for things like this. Nothing will show a boy's true colours like asking them to wait for sex and to respect your wishes. He will either be supportive or things will answer themselves and that will be for the best for whatever happens.

[Anonymous]

First comment is , I wouldn’t worry about your parents. Yes, legally you are under age but old enough in a few states to make that choice. (Yes age of consent is 16 some places.)

Having said that, it is still YOUR choice. Your boyfriend shouldn’t keep pressuring you once you have said your not ready. If he can’t respect that, I’d question weather or not he loves you or is just horny for you.

[DancingQueen16]

Just come right out and say you're not ready for that and if he really cares about you he'll understand

[Asker]

but wouldn’t any hormonal teenage boy grow bitter if you hold out for 3 years. i have to say no i can’t imagine saying yes but i just don’t wanna lose him or make him feel bad either

[thatshydork]

Explain to him that you’re not ready. If he’s truly the great guy you say he is, he’ll respect that.

[rukus88]

Preserve your innocence, there is nothing more valuable to a man and nothing more rare in a woman nowadays. If he isn't the one someone else will be.

[Berethor]

So you mature enough for kissing but not for sex? men give love for sex don't you know?

[Anonymous]

Simple. Stick to your morals. Be up front about it. If he chooses to leave that is his choice.

[mommymommymommy]

How do you know you're boyfriend girlfriend, if you haven't had sex yet?

[Asker]

cause we’re teenagers. that’s for adults, dating isn’t exclusively sex it’s romantic love.

[Ironic_Method]

If you don't want to have sex, then don't. Not everyone is compatible.

[Anonymous]

Tell him NO. And if he can't handle that, then get rid of him.

[Iron_Man]

No way, don’t do it

[Asker]

i’m not going to, i couldn’t make myself even if i wanted to. but wouldn’t a teenage boy be bitter if you held out on them for 3 whole years, i just don’t wanna lose him or make him feel bad. my biggest fear is him being totally weirded out and off put.

[Iron_Man]

Tell him you want to get married if he loves you he’ll wait

[slatyb]

Not have sex

[riverrat3]

Say no

[Asker]

but wouldn’t any hormonal teenage boy grow bitter if you hold out for 3 years. i have to say no i can’t imagine saying yes but i just don’t wanna lose him or make him feel bad either

[riverrat3]

You will find out if he wants you or wants sex

[Asker]

i know he loves me he's basically done everything for me for a year supported me, came over to my house and done numerous chores. even my family loves him but can’t teenage boys not control themselves in that stuff i’m js sad. i’ve always been taught boys connect love with sex if thes no sex the love gets messed up.

[riverrat3]

If he loves and respects you he will wait