Do western women really understand how much power they have (in romantic terms) when all else is equal compared to their male counterpart?

[Anonymous]

Power in itself is not a bad thing as long as it’s responsibly. Also notice how I used western women and not women in general. There are places in this world where women are still truly oppressed (Middle East, southeast countries). Even in traditional female dominated spheres of power (relationships) these women don’t have a say. They are forced into marriages and in the most heinous cases sexual slavery. That’s horrible.

However in the west things are obviously radically different for women given their freedoms and opportunities. However when it comes to relationships and romantic endeavors women have and always had a huge advantage over men when all else is equal. And leaving romance out of the “equality” argument is bullshit give it really is an integral part of life for most people’s existences.

Women really do have a lot more power to harm men and/or get more out of a relationship (money, protection, support) than they need to put in.

But do they realize it and just not care? Or is their innate advantage so deeply embedded in our culture that’s it’s taken for granted and dismissed?

I do not think this is ever going to change. I know complaining about it won’t solve anything either. At least in my life time.

But I just wish it was more acknowledged. It is like how some women have this attitude “oh there are plenty of fish in the sea” when talking to a heart broken guy. They are coming from a position of extreme ignorance because they think dating for guys is the same as it for them. It sure as hell isn’t when all else is equal.

[GreatBigCircles]

It should be pointed out that knowing something isn't the same as internalized knowledge. A lot of women have read of the plight of women in countries that offer very little protections against sexual crimes and even fewer freedoms. But the feeling of gratitude and thankfulness isn't inherently comparative. It's about cognitively recognizing the good things that we have and that happens to us despite our natural inclination to give far more weight to the negative. That's not ignorance, or even the fault of a woman. That's just how the human brain works, and why positivity, gratitude, and thankfulness is a habit to be cultivated. Not something to be quickly fixed by reading another tragic story about another tragic day.

I personally know for example, I have a very good situation. I can compare it to plenty of people I've read about or seen myself, and say that. same with being a good person, I can logically believe I'm a fairly good person given my behavior. But despite that, my experiences and depressive tendencies make make the world ultimately feel otherwise: I feel like a bad person, and feel like my situation is hopeless.

It's taken a concerted effort to train myself into a better state of mind, building up good mental and emotional hygiene and habits, to move my cognition into a place that I can really feel like I have some sense of self-love and self-worth.

I'm not going to say entitlement isn't a rampant problem in our society, it is and it's obnoxious dealing with people who are consumed by it. But I think it's too easy to look at someone and say 'they should be more grateful', despite the fact gratitude is a source of happiness that very few people are taught the tools to really make for themselves.

[Asker]

Good response. It was a bit too general given the topic tbh but I admit I enjoyed reading it. You definitely put some thought in it.

I too want to remain optimistic. But this topic I brought above is by far the biggest pain point for many western men in modern society today. Without a doubt it’s number one for most straight men.

It’s the heightened expectations that we are only valuable through agency (what you do) and how women often hold men to a higher standard then they hold themselves too (and get away with it). They can expect to be special JUST for existing. Both of us know men are NOT special just for existing nor can we expect anyone to believe otherwise.

It would be nice for a change of women could just ACKNOWLEDGE that for once. Specifically in dating.

[ManOnFire]

Western women view sexual attraction as power, and as the epitome of whatever could make a woman strong. All the other things you noted are what they only acknowledge as power when there is some benefit in it for them, otherwise they're still going around talking about how much women are oppressed and struggling if it means enough complaining can move people to give them even more benefits.

Always remember the rule of thumb: women want men to be unhappy about these things or whatever men would feel they're disadvantaged with. Women take pleasure in men feeling hopeless or less advantaged, or complaining about what they think women have it easier with.

[Asker]

The latter part might be for the most miserable women. But other women just want to men to pretend we don’t notice the advantages it has because it might take away from their “victim status”.

Personally I would be more open minded to listening to female issues of they would first f*cking take seriously what men have to go through. But instead they want to pretend otherwise.

[ManOnFire]

I can listen to female issues if they are actually REAL issues. Not all that ridiculous bullshit like being upset about "men getting to sleep around but women being called sluts for it." Or struggling with dates because "guys are intimidated by career women." Cry me a river. Women in India and other parts of Asia are working their asses off in sweat shops for literal pennies a day. African women in the Congo were being raped by the Wagner group. Those are real issues.

[Asker]

I agree. The human mind has a nasty way of making up new problems when you legitimate needs are met i. e. “first world problems”. I have done some traveling to poorer parts of the world (southwest Asia, Mexico, etc). I had a different perspective on life when I met people with legitimate issues like worrying about paying for your family and staying safe on the streets where crime and police corruption is a way of life.

But it takes mental effort to notice that. It’s even harder to notice that when you don’t live in it.

There is just too much merit given to people who use victim hood as a bs reason to get attention. They are way too insulated. Unfortunately this is a nasty byproduct of the developed world.

[Asker]

*worrying about feeding your family.

[Sanser]

I understand this but why do they have that power? Because of men obviously. Its not their fault that can be in the position to choose a partner, its more fault of men and overall the simps who are just pridless shits... I hope soon men try to be at least a little bit of pride.

That said Im ok with this, of course in this subject women have it easier but also they confront a lot of bad things, a lot of guys feel disgusted by girls with high bodycount while the oposite is not that big deal. Women tend to be seen like whores if they aproach a lot of guys the same night, not men.

Both genders have diferent problems at the end.

Can this be very frustratung for men? Of course... its not easy, but we have to keep going.

[Sanser]

And yes, I think they know.

[Asker]

Yes but women keep asking men to address the disadvantages they have and we DO acknowledge their issues. But I get sick of how many (not all but too many) just want to avoid acknowledging any they have because it might make them appear as “less of a victim”. Feminists are notorious for that. Their arguments are almost always one way.

[Inbox]

@Asker Did you report my opinion bro?

[Asker]

@Inbox no of course not. I’m not a bitch like that unless I think someone was trolling for real which you weren’t.

[Inbox]

Appreciate it

[slatyb]

The power will vary with the relative numbers of men and women in a given dating pool. Here in Seattle they are more single men than single women, so the available women have more choive. In New York there are more professional women than professional men, so men have more choice.

[midnightmoon05]

Didn’t read … to answer… yea I do!!! But they have no idea. Most are raised by fear and manipulations and social media. There a very few whom I have encountered that are still mentally sane…most…you should run from.

[Asker]

I tried to give balanced observation in my question details. I recommend reading it.

[Sarahr123]

White Western women do. Not Asian Western women who only get into relationships with Asian Western men. Our men are very chauvinistic and we are expected to be subservient and submissive.

[Asker]

White western women particularly are the worst of the worst when it comes to this conundrum.

Young and attractive white western women are beyond a doubt the most privileged group of people on earth. They get the best of both worlds with a feminized society telling them they are “victims” for being women and at the same time enjoy traditional benefits of being women. They keep doubling down on the victim aspect. I swear that some of them intentionally identify as bisexual despite never having sex with a woman before just because it gives them more “intersectional” status.

Being a white Western man I’ve observed this over and over in my lifetime. In my more younger and naive days (I was unfortunately taught chivalry from a naive generation) I got blindsided more than once by white women who abuse their power. Ironically I usually find that Asian and Latino are more respectful. Not to say I’ve never had bad experiences with them (I have). But at least they tend to respect men who respect them and not see it as a sign of weakness like too many white women (just because they are spoiled and bored).

[Sarahr123]

In my culture we are just taught to be obedient towards our male authority figures and listen to them. If we don’t listen to them we are bad women. If we don’t dress modestly or come home an hour later than our curfew we are unmarriagable. We have to be pure, not go clubbing, not go to hookah and not have male companions. All of which I agree with and I say it is for my own good but we don’t get appreciated nearly enough for being good girls. We get treated like complete and utter shit tbf. I still wouldn’t lead a promiscuous lifestyle - it just isn’t in my nature.

[Asker]

I believe that. I dated a young Asian woman a few years ago. She cooked for me, always showed up on time for dates, treated out for my birthday, etc. It was great while it lasted.

However she also wanted to rebel. Being 21 that’s not surprising. But her dating an older guy (I was 34 at the time) was part of her “rebelling”. She also just couldn’t get enough sex from me. Of course I wasn’t complaining at the time :).

However she then jumped off on the deep end. She ghosted me after 9 months of dating over a minor argument. I ran into her in the gym a few months later. She whored up her appearance with fake breasts and tons of makeup (she also gained 20lbs which I was happy to see considering what she did to me). She was posting all sorts of provocative pictures of herself being a IG model too.

I notice some minority women get a taste of freedom and go TOO far. Way too far. No limits.

The problem is women struggle with understanding there are consequences to your decisions. You want to be “free” and do whatever feels right in the moment? In the west you she that freedom. But when you stupid and selfish choices there are long term ramifications. Sure you can screw over a guy if you choose. You will seemingly get away with it too. Modern feminism encourages it. But what happens to men when they screwed over more than once? Men aren’t bullet proof. We get depressed, jaded and we will give up on women. So when men give up on women is that “good” for women? Especially if it could of been a good thing for both the woman and the man? Stupid bullshit like #metoo had made many guys too afraid to even approach women.

[Inbox]

You can give everything to women and they still won’t be happy lol. In the West, they’re still complaining, such as the horrors of not being able to identify as a third gender.

[ProbablyClueless]

I doubt it. Western women live an extremely insulated existence.

[Sun_Kim-Ai]

Power wears out those who don't have it, and if you don't have it it's your fault.

[Asker]

Any one can improve their situation. But we do have inherited benefits, talents, advantages and vice versa depending on our gender, ethnicity and backgrounds.

I do NOT believe in so called “equity” arguments where people have to be forced to give up privileges that they may or may not worked for. But I do think people need to own up to having advantages and I am fed up with one group of people fixating on these advantages while pretending they don’t have their own.

[Nikki1989]

LMAO!

What power?

[Asker]

Thank you for proving my point. It’s always when a stereotypical female such as yourself who says “ha ha” or “lol” as their bs method of quickly ignoring/dismissing issues they know damn well benefits them but they don’t want to admit it. Just laugh it off quickly and that magically makes people stop paying attention to it.

[gothbxtch]

yeah okay lmao

[Asker]

I would of used your response as a PERFECT example of what I’m talking about. But the fact you are only 17 is the only thing stopping me.

But honest the “yeah okay lmao” is pretty much the general female attitude towards male pain including 4x suicide rates.

[gothbxtch]

of course i don’t feel like that about suicide, jesus christ

[Asker]

I know you don’t. Honestly given you are 17 I’m going to cut you some slack. But there are women out there who have the “yeah okay lol” out there about men getting burned who are twice your age. They think since they have been burned about an unrelated guy it’s “okay” to burn a different innocent guy. This is really for them.

[grega239]

No because they chose to be stupid

[In_Trance]

Yes they do