What do you think is the biggest source of misunderstandings between men and women?

Question

CubsterShura · Accepted Answer

The biggest mistake people make in terms of understanding the opposite gender is not getting the fact that there are more differences within people in a group than between groups.

Suppose, I am in a relationship and I want to have a fun date night with him and spice things up in bed. I start googling what men like in bed, ask my friends etc and then end up with the brilliant idea of surprising him with some lacy and strappy lingerie and make arrangements for food play in bed, with items like whipped cream and chocolate sauce because surely a man would LOVE licking those off of his partner's body right? Wrong! My boyfriend isn't really interested in lingerie and I can't get him on board with food play although I personally love it because he finds it very weird.

People should focus on seeing men and women as individuals than this monolith. If you want to impress someone, instead of trying to find out "what impresses a man/woman?", instead think "what impresses THIS man/woman?"

I have a friend who constantly makes this mistake. Every time he has an encounter with a woman and he has questions he always comes to me asking "why do girls behave like this?" Often times it's something I don't do although I'm a woman and end up telling him that I don't personally know the girl he is talking about so I have no idea why she said/did what she did. Just because I'm a woman doesn't mean that I have answers for all women's behavior. We're all different, how the hell am I supposed to know why some girl I've never known or met did something?

jennifer_bloom · Accepted Answer

I think one thing men and woman do that is toxic is sexual over simplification due to gender identity, such as assuming women must submit all the time or like all good looking men because they are women, or assuming men must always do the difficult physical labours around the house because they are men, assuming the woman should be skinnier since she is the gender responsible for fertility and child birth, or assuming the man should have to always make more money then the woman because he is born with a more dominant physical capacity then the woman. I personally find men who lack a small degree of female traits to be repulsive and unattractive, just as I find a woman who lacks a small degree of masculine traits, to be unrealistic and imaginary.

blueonblack22 · Accepted Answer

We assume the other views the world and judges situations the same way we do.

In general men and women absolutely don’t. We live very different lives, different experiences and have unique challenges and advantages. Besides societal influences our very brains are structured differently (this is getting downplayed recently which is ANTI science)

However the number one problem I have with modern feminism is that these women completely assume they already know what is like to be an average man. They have a very warped and misguided viewpoint that’s based on the actions, advantages and behaviors of the top 1% of men.

Their arguments are usually anecdotal or based on faulty data gathering. They argue and fight to be right to figure out what is right. And figure out what is right sometimes you have to own up to being wrong. But admitting fault is not the same as admitting defeat.

Mother Nature intended to bound men and women together for companionship and reproduction. When you punish and harm one side of humanity you ultimately harm yourself. What you put out there will circle back to eventually harm you.

MrOracle · Accepted Answer

Both men and women have a very bad habit of projecting their own thought processes, desires, motivations, and perspectives on the opposite sex, even when they know that those don't apply. And perhaps worse, lots of people, of both sexes, seem to intentionally avoid learning how the opposite sex thinks, feels, desires, and what their perspective is, as if ignorance would provide an excuse for their projections.

The truth is that men and women generally have very different desires, motivations, thought processes, and perspectives, and you can't possibly understand what your SO is thinking and feeling if you don't understand these things, and projecting your own positions onto them is going to lead to massive miscommunication problems and will destroy your relationship sooner or later.

This has been made even worse for the last few generations by idiots that think that equality means that we are literally the same and that any recognition of differences between the sexes will somehow undermine equality, when the opposite is actually true.

caring__1 · Answer

People expect others to read their minds. I can't tell you how many times I've heard from a woman "You've been with women before. Obviously, you know what they like. Just do it." As if all women are alike.

People assume using the same words means they see the same meaning, yet that is often not true. Show curiosity. Take the time to find out how the other defines or interprets things.

Never tell someone "That's not what you mean." Never insist you know more about what goes on in someone's head than that person.

Avicenna · Answer

Expectations in the relationship

Count_de_Monte_Volo · Answer

A lot of people don’t realize there are 2 kinds of people. It’s not usually like the movies where the good looking person is nice (in dating). Often they are bad for dating, because they “don’t need to be nice.” But because of their looks they are the only ones chased, and then we think the “good looking” ones with bad attitudes represent the whole sex, because we are only concerned with the good looking ones.

Also we are conditioned to seek dating more than I think is natural. Once you stop thinking so hard about “there’s someone for everyone” and open your mind to the possibility that being single is normal, then a lot of weight drops off your shoulders.

The media, corporations and government forced us to mingle in unnatural ways and that equation clearly causes conflict if you look at it framed that way. They told us what to want, and when we don’t get it we get upset. Being upset over not getting what you want is normal, but what isn’t normal is the things we think we want.

Lliam · Answer

Fear of being taken advantage of.

Many men are afraid that women only want them for their money.
Women know from experience that many men just use them for sex.

Those are stereotypes. And individuals are not stereotypes.

Most women want safety and security, but that doesn't mean that they are only after a man's money. Although, some women are.

Many men value women only for sex. But they don't represent all men.

There are actually a lot of trustworthy people out there.

safricanluke · Answer

I believe communication style is definitely a big reason for misunderstanding. For example, one person could be more logical in their communication, trying to find the root of the problem and fix it, whereas the other is more of an emotional communicator, just trying to vent and wanting to be listened to. It could also stem from toxic masculinity, where from a young age boys were told they aren't allowed to cry, talk about their feelings, be sad, talk to someone when there is something bothering us, or really express emotion at all

Anonymous · Answer

A lot of women tend to think that just cause they think a certain way we’re supposed to think the same as men. So when we give them our answer, it’s not what they expected then they get mad. Then they think we’re fucked up for having our own thoughts. Also when women assume that a man is supposed to just know what you want because you’ve been together forever, or that he’s supposed to know what you’re thinking. It’s funny women ask men questions on this forum, to which a majority of men tend to give the same answer. But the girl still doesn’t believe it because in her mind it’s what she thinks is the answer, so she wants us to validate what she thinks. So then she agrees w all the women who gave her the same answer she had conjured up in her mind in regards to men lol

crossdressingrihno · Answer

Women are complicated, but men are simple.
Women have a tendency to have hidden meanings behind things and make things complex while guys generally don’t do that kind of stuff.
More often than not the closest thing men get to a Hidden meaning behind something is “are you sure about that?” Which is code for what you are saying or doing is utterly stupid, and when it blows up in your face, I’m probably not gonna help you.

richardcory · Answer

Women who think that they can learn something about "men" rather than about a particular man. Men who think they can learn about "women" rather than about an individual women. People are individuals, with differences far greater than gender differences

D_Bone_Steak · Answer

I would say women not understanding that a guy that just wants to fuck is not just a nice guy that is her "friend."

No, it's obvious what it really is and even her female friends will point it out. Some women will just refuse to accept that as reality until something happens.

ProbablyClueless · Answer

Mhhh... I'm a straight guy, so I'm on the receiving end of this from women more than men, but I'm sure men do it a lot too; I think women's friends are the cause of the problems.

Those people you think are your friends are like 95% toxic harpies. At best, they're projecting their damage onto your life and at worst, they're trying to sabotage your relationships in life at the first opportunity.

NHI2017 · Answer

Never expect a man to relate to your feelings as a woman.  men are logical women are not. We think with logic,  girls think with feelings,  And that’s where a lot of problems start

Billlewis · Answer

When a guy does something nice for a woman and she thinks he's trying to get her into bed -- or -- he does something nice for her and he *is* trying to get her into bed, but she thinks he's just being a nice guy.

inhua · Answer

the insistence on making men and women equal without truly understanding what it truly means to be equal. the sooner people understand the differences and accept them the better it'll be

FatherJack · Answer

Women and men are polar opposites mentally , the genders think & process information VERY differently. Also the deliberate toxic social engineering, that influences women to view men in a negative light

Nikki1989 · Answer

Lack of communication, not listening to each other.

strateguy632 · Answer

the source is when women try to be subtle it causes misunderstanding and caused expectations

Anonymous · Answer

That we're the same. We're not. We have different motivations and goals. And we operate using different behaviours, some of which are unconscious. If we understand this, we can then try to meet in the middle.

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

The same thing that causes misunderstandings with people of the same gender. Assumptions and dialects.

zero444440000 · Answer

women thinking men wanting to have sex with them/hitting on them equals that they some sort sexual predator looking to make them into there next female prey?

sheikalana · Answer

Lack of communication and making assumptions.

genericname85 · Answer

women not saying precisely what they think but instead expecting him to read her mind and figure it out.

shades777 · Answer

not saying what you mean, not be honest, and not doing your part, listening to your (not so good friends). honestly id say is the number 1 issue

007kingifrit · Answer

the fact that men and women are really biologically different. feminism told women that we were all the same and the differences were just social constructs

whistlingwh0res · Answer

I think that many men are transsexual. many women are lesbian too. so there is this misunderstanding if there is. of course you won't heard of it if they are real straight. There is no misunderstanding if they both straight.

gothbxtch · Answer

men (not all, but some) not listening to women

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

Couples need to communicate more in relationships.

DextroShade · Answer

Women often have these bad habits of not communicating directly, playing stupid games, or expecting men to be psychic and read their minds.

Pudsmucker · Answer

Trying to be able to understand proper communication skills between both sexes. Misunderstanding each person's knowledge of words.

JonesT10Apr · Answer

less communication... sort of by facing eachother...   even you don't know how to express... cry in your room and tell her... then most problems go warnished.. in Air

Reorx · Answer

Women's reality consists of much more emotion from my observations. Men have evolved for millions of years to set them aside.

Shy_Steve · Answer

That Women are only dealing with about 10 to 15% percent of Guys when they are trying to find a Partner.

MissBoogus · Answer

I’m thinking emotionally and he’s trying to think like a robot 🤖.

ButthurtGAGpeople1 · Answer

Sex. When and how they want it/who they want it with/where etc..

driven159 · Answer

lack of communication not much of it any more no one wants to take the time

KrakenAttackin · Answer

Probably men trying to decipher the innate bipolar nature of women.

ShesRad80 · Answer

lack of communication on every level

4ngelic · Answer

not knowing the opposite sex well enough

Drewtate · Answer

That men are psychic

sheenagwapa · Answer

there's a misunderstanding if one is lyinh...

Steve1181 · Answer

Different maturity levels?

jshm2 · Answer

women are the biggest source.

boobliker · Answer

not saying what they want and NOT TALKING

BarryLiverstone · Answer

The source? Likely fear

ElvenMr · Answer

Dishonesty in my opinion.

OddBeMe · Answer

Inability to read minds.

In_Trance · Answer

unwillingness to communicate

imfreeze95 · Answer

Lack of Communication

Luckycharms12 · Answer

There so much.

dragoblack · Answer

Emotional immaturity

Rohaan2020 · Answer

Lack of trust

Anonymous · Answer

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