Girlfriend wants kids even though we live paycheck to paycheck. What should I do?

[Anonymous]

My girlfriend of 4 years is upset cause i don’t want a kid at this very moment. I’m 24 and she is 21. We both live paycheck to paycheck and I’ve explained to her we not in the best position to bring a kid in the world to struggle. She once told me when she was mad (when we had a pregnancy scare when i was in college) that she wouldn’t let me see the kid if she had it because again i didn’t want to bring a kid in this world to struggle especially if i was not ready for one. What should i do, say? How do you think this relationship is gonna go.

[Flower7]

This seems like a continuous issue in your relationship and the two of you would most likely continue to argue over kids even after having them. It’s probably best not to proceed since the two of you aren’t compatible over such a huge thing as having kids.

She’s already threatened you that she might not let you see the child or children. You should take that seriously. That’s not a casual statement that people just blurt out suddenly. She had to have put some thought into that before she ever said it out loud. She must mean that.

It sounds like you should dodge this bullet while you still can. Things could easily get much much worse. And think about child support! That situation can easily ruin someone’s life.

[provokeesmokee]

Break up.

You're responsible. She is not. This isn't going to work out.

Having kids or not is not something you can compromise on. There's no such thing as having half a kid.

She needs to find someone willing to force an unborn child into this shithole world.

I suggest you date childfree people. It'll avoid these sorts of breeders.

[Asker]

Don’t get me wrong i want kids 100% i just don’t want to bring a kid in the world to where me nor the child has to struggle. I grew up with a single mom and struggling was not my favorite.

[Asker]

I feel like it sounds like i don’t want kids, but i do just not while I’m broke

[provokeesmokee]

That's fair.
You're still being responsible.

In this case, I don't think you can compromise with your girlfriend.

You need to find someone who thinks like you do on kids.

[Bryce325]

Make a plan to a future where you feel confident you can raise a child. If you have no intention of any children then don't drag her along for the ride.

[OlderAndWiser]

What is your plan for improving your financial situation?

[Asker]

I mean i just graduated college winter of 21. I’m an administrator at a healthcare company and bought a house last year that i just recently turned into my first Airbnb. But I’m still living paycheck to paycheck. I’m an entrepreneur

[OlderAndWiser]

So can you tell her, "I am not quite ready yet financially, but by mid-2025, I should be ready?" Or whatever date fits your circumstances.

[DubiousIntentions]

Costs a lot to raise a kid. Also, what will she use for money when she is out on maternity by doctor's orders? If you can't afford extras now, you will be worse off if you have a kid.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

It’s not very responsible of her to want children when you can’t give them a nice childhood.