I’ve been with my girlfriend for 2 years and our plan is to get married by December. My girlfriend is dead set against us having kids. She doesn’t want kids but wants me to be a second dad to her friend’s kids. She’s even leaving her will to her friend’s kids.
I’ve never fancied the idea of kids. I don’t even like kids, accept recently I’ve been thinking it would be cool to see a mini me. What’s even worse is she’s pregnant right now and has an abortion appointment booked.
I’m ok with her not wanting kids, her body her choice. But I don’t wanna be responsible for someone else’s kids either. I never wanted to date a woman with kids, but I kinda think this is worse than dating a single mom.
So please tell me. Am I selfish? Or is she?
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Is it selfish that my girlfriend doesn’t want kids?
Don’t marry her then , you are best to move on and find yourself someone that wants kids with you , because if you don’t, you will eventually resent marrying her for not giving you kids. My brother went through the same thing with his ex wife , that decided she didn’t want kids all of a sudden , when he did , so to appease her thinking it will save their marriage , he ended up getting a vasectomy for her , realizing he made the dumbest mistake , by kissing her ass , he is so bummed out that he never had kids and his so called selfish wife , ended up leaving him for another girl. So my advice man , never kiss a girls’ ass , find a girl that kisses your ass , that will be proud to have your babies , cuz if she isn’t proud to have your babies , that means she isn’t proud to have you by her side , this is shit that should of been discussed before you committed to her , it doesn’t make her a bad person , some Girls ‘ just don’t want kids and the responsibilities of kids , and that’s fine if she is honest about it , but don’t change who you are to appease her is all that I am saying , find yourself a girl that wants your babies , a girl that looks up to you
I didn’t say that, all I said is if he wants kids , he is best to find a girl that does , just because his fiancé doesn’t want kids , doesn’t mean he has to stay with her and agree with her decision , dump her and find a girl that does want kids
What she wants is a bit weird. Not the part about not wanting kids though. If your girlfriend modt raises her friend's kids, then that's different. Thrn she's practically their mother. Here's a real life example: My mom's cousin had a friend with two sons. One requires a lot of 1 on 1 help and attention. Because of that my mom's cousin normally took care of the other kid. Because he was basically raised by her, he's considered family by all of us. In such a situation I can see how the friend's kid is her's as much as the actual mother's.
If you truly want children of your own and being with someone who is set to never have…you will regret it one day. you two have different goals…
I personally never care…once married… we had kids for good reasons… and never regret. Also financially capable as well as with the right attitude about how to raise them. They are now very good kids as teens.
my best friend married a very good guy… she didn’t want kids and he did… he divorced her… she is still single and lonely… he is now remarried and have two with his wife. He is the happiest father!!
don’t settle with someone who does not align with your goals.
But I dont understand why she wants you to be a second dad to her friends kids and even have them in her will. But I also don't fully understand how she's pregnand and aborting the fetus. Did you had unprotected sex with her or did your girlfriend changed her mind about having kids?
No, I don't think people are selfish if they want kids or they don't. But if you both are not on the same page about things, I don't think you should be getting married. Also I think you 2 should be more careful if you are not gonna have kids, because abortions are really horrible for everyone involved and should not be your birth control.
It isn't selfish that she doesn't want kids. But if you've suddenly decided you do want kids, then I think it'd be best to find a woman that's on the same page as you now.
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We’re on the same page with not having kids, but. We’re not on the same page with raising some else’s. That’s what the issue is
I personally would consider the issue of having or not having kids to be crucial to the point that an unreconciliable disagreement means that relationship needs to end because you're both wasting your time.
Kids are not for everyone. They are a huge responsibilities and they take boatloads of cash. What is selfish is to bring children into the world if you do not really want them just because people think that everyone should have kids.
You should be ending that relationship last week. She is murdering your child. Oh sure she will call it something different but that is the reality. She is committing first degree murder
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