Aren't people who want to go through your phone the worst?

[Juxtapose]

I literally have multiple people telling me very private things such as how they were raped, I have confidential financial information and so on. No, you can't go through my phone, EVER! It's like my diary, my mailbox, my checkbook and library research history all wrapped into one plus more. Would you want to date some psycho girl who wants to look at what books you checked out of a library at all times?

"But you don't trust her!"

It doesn't matter how much you trust someone, boundaries are a thing and personal privacy is a thing🤦 Trust doesn't mean you get to examine every little detail of my life with a microscope, that actually means you don't trust me at all. It amazes me how many of you have no concept of boundaries or privacy.

Yeah!

No!

Updates

9 mo

People who ask to check your phone have 100% already cleansed their phone of ANYTHING they don't want you to know before even asking you by the way lol.

[Lliam]

My wife could go through my phone. I don't even have it locked because I don't use it for much. But she has no interest. I know her password, but I have no interest in going through hers. We have access to each other's phones in case of emergencies.

I agree with you, people who do that suck. They have no concept of boundaries and think that just because you are with them, they have a right to snoop into everything you think and do. They are basically insecure, suspicious and controlling busy bodies.

I do have a password on my laptop because it contains everything. But even if my wife had the password, she wouldn't be interested in going through my shit.

[Telekinetic-Potato]

You can go through my phone when I trust you with my social security number. That's my rule

[Apple1996]

I think it depends while dating it's fine not to share passwords but in a marriage the couple should share everything

[Juxtapose]

No, any potential spouse of mine is not going to have permission to read my diary, go through my checkbook, look through my mail or check what books I've rented in the library. Just because I am married doesn't mean I don't have personal privacy or boundaries anymore.

[Juxtapose]

It's such a violation of trust to even want to look through somebody's diary.

[Apple1996]

Being married means you become one with each other. There basically is no more privacy lol
Like I share 4 whole humans with my husband itd be silly not to want to share passwords 😂

[Juxtapose]

Boundaries and privacy is healthy and normal but whatever works for you.

[richardcory]

I have to disagree. Marriage still allows privacy - in both directions of course. We each have access to the other's phone, but as far as I know, neither of us has ever snooped.

We have friends that tell us things in private. Heck, we both have access to company proprietary information.

[Apple1996]

@richardcory yeah depends on the couple and what they're comfortable with. Personally I don't go snooping but I do have all and use my husband's passwords especially for email since certain things about our kids medical/schools go to that email so it's just a shared thing

[RealMarek]

@Juxtapose If you get married you might as well let her see your checkbook. She can always get family court to force you to hand over financial records if you have been married, so once married don’t be spending money in ways you wouldn’t want her or a judge to know about.

[BoopBoopBeep]

To jump in on the tail of this conversation... hard to hide a surprise trip somewhere when all the confirmation emails show up in an account the other person is snooping in. You can unlock my phone. I have no social media, but the email requires a different password, and that stays with me. There's crap in there that predates you and crap people shared with me in private, you don't get access to that.

[Apple1996]

@BoopBoopBeep it can be more difficult to plan surprises but there are ways to go around it

[BoopBoopBeep]

@Apple1996
Right, but I already have a good way. Don't go in my email. You have no cause to be there.

[Apple1996]

@BoopBoopBeep in my relationship I do have a reason to be in my husband's email because of our kids so it's a little different

[BoopBoopBeep]

@Apple1996
Oh see we have a "house email" for stuff like that

[Apple1996]

@BoopBoopBeep if that works for you then great but my kids school requires multiple emails. I think my housing does as well yet they will only contact through my husband's.
Even If we didn't have kids I would still need all his info for when he gets deployed and isn't allowed internet access overseas. Which has happened twice now

[BoopBoopBeep]

@Apple1996
My ex had full power of attorney of my estate/affairs while I was gone. None of that required her to have my personal email address. I did 9 tours, three with her, I've never needed anyone to get in my email.

Somebody thinks they need multiple email addresses they get two throw aways... house1@myaddress. com and house2@myaddress. com

[Apple1996]

@BoopBoopBeep yeah poa doesn't always include technology access but depends on what kind you get. I have full poa on my hubby that includes tech/digital info. Also had poa for like 5 other random soldiers to help them out while they were deployed

And very odd you didn't need any help. Possible that you didn't have much going on or had things in order.

[BoopBoopBeep]

@Apple1996
it didn't include email access. that's my point. there is nothing that you will ever need to see my email to accomplish. I bought two properties while deployed. None of that required email access

What am I going to have going on that requires you to see my email? Buying the houses? Use your email. Problem solved. Property manager for my other properties was told to email her instead. That solved that. My attorney, cpa and broker were told the same thing. Who else is going to be emailing me? Nobody that I can't tell ahead of time to email her.

[Apple1996]

@BoopBoopBeep POA with digital does very much include email. As well as all online accounts even including social media too.

If you were buying homes I'm assuming you had internet access and free time? Lol
And there is no ahead of time in rapid deployments. You were probably just very lucky if you had planned deployments and were able to to get things in order ahead of time. Not everyone is that lucky. Only 1/5 of my husband's deployments were planned. 2 of them didn't allow any technology/internet/phone access since it's easily traceable. Things get messy that's why it's best to have a POA in the case of that happening

[BoopBoopBeep]

@Apple1996
Her's explicitly didn't include email. No I didn't have internet access and sat phone is expensive, because that particular one WAS a rapid deployment. Everybody has SOME free time. I've been on enough ODA/agency bases to know that everybody has SOME free time, simply because firefights rarely last a full week and when they do, everybody is dead afterwards. How they choose to use it is up for debate, but I'm not sure what that has to do with anything, because I wasn't checking my email throughout most of it

Nothing was in order ahead of time... that's why I gave her POA. Haha I'm not sure where the disconnect is. You said "Things get messy that's why it's best to have a POA in the case of that happening" I'm not debating that having a POA is useful. I'm saying there's no reason for her or anyone else to need access to the past 25 years of email history to handle my modern affairs.

As far as "2 of them didn't allow any technology/internet/phone access since it's easily traceable"... I've got better tech ;)

[Apple1996]

@BoopBoopBeep rapid deployments have only started happening again in 2019 before that one didn't happen since the early 90s. I get your older so no idea how long you've been in tho

[BoopBoopBeep]

@Apple1996
Respectfully miss, I'm not sure what you're calling a rapid deployment but I've been boots on ground within a week of something popping off and I can assure you it's not something that started in 2019. At a minimum you should be aware of all the ones facilitating actions in Iraq and Afghanistan, nearly 20 years earlier. Entities that deploy as small units have pretty much been doing "rapid deployments" since before either of us were born.

[Apple1996]

@BoopBoopBeep a week is a long time. Not rapid at all. Thats considered planned. My hubby's unit does 18hrs or less deployments as rapid

[BoopBoopBeep]

@Apple1996 ok, still not post 2019 but i wasn't trying to put everybody's business out there because then lists start getting shorter on people playing "who's he with" for fun and for profit.

still not clear what any of that has to do with somebody needing access to my email. To do what? If I go dark for the next 6 months what email am I going to get that somebody else needs access to?

[Apple1996]

@BoopBoopBeep already stated this but my kids cannot go to the doctor or school on base without my husband's email.

And yes rapid deployments started before that in the 80s-90s was only used a few times then went dead till 2019 and had been used multiple times since then

[BoopBoopBeep]

@Apple1996 I see clearly that our experiences have varied. I'm glad yours worked out for you.

[HappyWoman34]

Yeah, I think they have issues with trust and they need extensive therapy.

[BoopBoopBeep]

preach it brother

[Jazzy54]

Yes they are. 🤦🏾‍♀️

[jamesgoldman]

Absolutely

[OddBeMe]

Which of my phones?