What do you think about an apology letter to a boyfriend?

Question

We had a fight and I'm thinking of writing a letter to my boyfriend apologizing and leaving the letter on his doorstep. Do you think it's such an old style or does it make more sense than texting?

caring__1 · Accepted Answer

It's not uncommon for people to hear what they expect to hear, so messages aren't always received accurately when we speak. By writing, you're giving the other person the opportunity to read and reread... until the message sinks in... and then becomes a reminder for the future. Just make sure you read and reread it before you send it. Ask yourself how it would feel to receive what you are sending out.

Make sure what you write is meaningful to the other and not just something selfish to reduce your feelings of guilt. Always be specific... never give general apologies (ie "I'm sorry." "What are you sorry about?" "Whatever it is that's bothering you."). Instead, say "I'm sorry my words to you were insensitive when I told you you didn't care. That wasn't my place to tell you what you were feeling, as only you know that." Never legitimize or give excuses for whatever you are apologizing for, as that will only minimize your acknowledgment of your actions. Focus on what you plan to do to move forward, not what the other should do.

ohsheeT · Accepted Answer

I like that idea but leaving it on his doorstep that's kind of weird
And then it also depends on what you're putting in the letter of apology

I think it's great to focus on that

But that's basically acknowledging this okay to have fights and say and do whatever you want in those fights because you can always say you're sorry

I say focus on the reasons how the fights get started and why they escalate and learn how to deal with that better

And no matter what or how you handle it it has to be honest 100% the truth before the fight even starts you have to have that same concept that same attitude no matter what is said or done it has to be 100% the truth otherwise you will never grow together

Alli39 · Accepted Answer

Who cares if it's old fashioned, it actually sounds a lot more heartfelt and meaningful than a text. That said, maybe stick to text if it's a time sensitive issue because you don't actually know that he'll look at it or that he won't be confused by the change in format. It also doesn't really give him the opportunity to respond, so make sure you're not framing it with any expectation of action in response on his part. Ideally though, you should try to talk to him in person at some point.

Mamaliv · Accepted Answer

If your anything like me, sometimes it’s easier for me to put my thoughts and feelings down on paper rather then trying to speak them out loud. It’s not always ideal but I believe I do better at explaining myself. I wouldn’t just leave the letter on his door step, hand it to him and be there while he reads it. Or try writing it all out and then go over to his place and talk to him, you’ll be more prepared to say the words out loud once you’ve thought them out.

AviatorTom · Answer

Letter is better than texting. Apologizing in person is better than a letter.

Pinay_ako · Answer

Apologizing in any shape or form is still better than pride! So yes do what you need to do to let your love one know you care about losing him.

SnowedIn · Answer

Letter is a wonderful idea. Way better than texting.

BUT...

Why? What's your objective? And don't say "to apologize". Why not in person? There's a piece of this that's missing.

So, yeah, a letter is wonderful. That it's old style is irrelevant. But why not in person? You say he's your boyfriend. What info have you not told us?

Hermitess · Answer

Definitely do it. Take your time thinking about what you want to write in it. With text messages, sometimes we write too fast and don’t really organize our thoughts. A letter is more personal anyway, and shows more effort. I’ve written a few apology, letters to my boyfriend, and they’ve always worked.

Blueeyes81 · Answer

Yeats ago I had an ex leave a letter under my windshield wipers. It explained how sorry she was and why she ultimately broke up with me. She asked for friendship and forgiveness. That was 20 years ago and I still have that letter.

So I say go for it.

lorenzomichael · Answer

No I wouldn't write a letter, unless he's in jail or in the service. However I might write in a card and then give that to him. Keep in mind us guys are pretty simple, we don't need a long letter explaining how sorry you are or even a card. Just say sorry while being truthful and you'll be fine.

scooogy · Answer

I once dreamed I was engaged to a woman who actually hated me in real life, and in this dream she woke me up in the morning nagging I shall not leave my worn socks all over the bedroom floor, and I should clean my dishes instead of just putting them in the sink and what not.

In short, as soon as she left I wrote her a goodbye letter, packed my stuff and left. So I guess this is rather for serious breakup issues.

Julie_TS · Answer

Nope, no letters, no texts. Say or don't, but nothing in writing.

Wonderingguyy · Answer

Nah the fact that you put in the effort to write a letter to him is really nice, and should help to show him how sorry you are. Still, apologising to him in person is always preferred, but a letter is better than a text

BadApple69 · Answer

I am a fan of letters in general. Texting shows little effort. In a letter you can get all your thoughts and feelings out without interruption. After the letter a good in-person is suggested.

HopelessLord · Answer

It really depends on how you and your boyfriend's relationship is. If he is the type of guy who is more emotional than rational and finds such a thing appreciative, that is a good idea. Otherwise talking with him in person is probably a better idea.

OfMiceandMen · Answer

I think it is way more personable than texting. I know it may seem old-school, but sometimes the written form means more and has more emotion than texting.

Billlewis · Answer

I'd be careful about a letter of apology. I think you might be better served by stating your concerns and making your wants known, which will hopefully help you make up again. Just my opinion.

Lynx122 · Answer

It shows that you care so I think it would be good. But you also have to be willing to talk about it face to face at some point.

Yannishka · Answer

I think it's good. Just don't literally leave it on his doorstep or a raccoon will eat that.

Nikki1989 · Answer

It is not ideal, but a letter is a million times better than texting.

SolitarySolace · Answer

If it’s the only way a woman can actually give an apology and admit they were at fault for something than I’m all for it

spartan55 · Answer

Apologizing by text should never be considered if you want to be taken even remotely serious.

Sasha0426 · Answer

How many fights or arguments have you had throughout your life with a partner? I’m sure a lot. And I’m sure you talked it out in person before. I think in person is better.

Annie_LevelUP_ADC · Answer

I think in person is still better but if you want to use letters.

RavVid · Answer

Well it will be more effort on your part and so be more meaningful.

Alex-Snow · Answer

I think it would be way better than a text. Go for it, but follow up with a phone call or a face to face talk

DaBiggestBird · Answer

Hmmm…. My prediction algorithm senses a soft current of romance but I think saying to him directly is way more Giga Chad,

exitseven · Answer

Wow, that would be amazing. He better forgivve you.

Bklynbadboy12 · Answer

Listen a letter is good but you know what's better. Invite him over to talk tell him your gonna cook for him. Sit down with him and talk through things over some good food

Kacka · Answer

non text be same as words, but it may break first ice to star talk about

Anonymous · Answer

Guys like apologies as much as you do. Its a good start, as it leaves the ball in his court.

joehypo1 · Answer

Probably could fire off a text

LaFemmeFatale_1 · Answer

Apologize in person…

lightbulb27 · Answer

What do you think about an apology letter to a boyfriend?

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