I cried to my male bestfriend, even though he's married, and now I am embarrassed and ashamed of myself?

[Anonymous]

My male bestfriend is going through some problems with his wife, whom he married at a very young age. She asked him to cut out all the women in his life, and I cried so hard in front of him. I felt awful and very embarrased. I have no idea what he thinks of me now.

[b_lova]

Time for some introspection.

He probably doesn't think in less of you now, but he maybe going through some confusion too so there isn't any need for you to feel embarrassed or ashamed.

She may have asked him to cut women out because of your relationship with him getting too close. That is not shameful it just means a boundary need to be drawn before the two of you make a "mistake" you can't take back. I don't think you should feel embarrassed or ashamed but you might want to ask yourself why you had that response and see if what she is asking isn't right for their relationship which should be priority over yours.

That being said, he needs to figure out if he is happy in the relationship with his wife. I married early to and after 20+ years, after our kids were mature I left her because of the problems we had had for 10+ years, I had only stayed for the kids, but you can't be a part of that discussion if you are you will really feel guilt for the rest of your life.

I would suggest you back away no matter what but tell him that you are doing so to honor the commitment he made to his wife, but you will miss his friendship.

[Asker]

yes well he told me that if i care about him, i need to minimize contact with him for a while and keep it purely professional. I explicitly stated that I have no malicious intent and that i know how much he loves his kids, and that he knows how much I respect that, so i would never sabotage that.

[MementoMori777]

Well you have feelings, there's nothing embarrassing about that but I can't blame the woman either, just being territorial over her husband, feel better tho anon

[ryanquigg0707]

Do you like him

[Asker]

i have no malicious intent and i know how much he loves his kids, so i’d never sabotage that. he was just an awesome friend to me

[ryanquigg0707]

But do you like him lol

[Asker]

no of course not, we’re just really good friends

[ryanquigg0707]

Don’t feel bad then

[Asker]

i just hate that he saw me very

[Asker]

saw me crying i meant^