Who is usually more loyal in relationships, men/boys or women/girls?

[gayesblog]

Which gender do you think is more loyal in relationships? And why do you think so?

[brooker]

Here's the thing, loyalty varies from person to person. It's shaped by a whole bunch of factors like upbringing, past experiences, and individual personality. Some folks are as loyal as golden retrievers, sticking by their partner through thick and thin. Others might have a wandering eye, always on the lookout for the next best thing. And this goes for both men and women. Trust me, I've heard stories about guys who cheated and regretted it, just like I've heard about women who strayed for whatever reason. The blame game goes both ways.

People often get caught up in stereotypes. For guys, there's this notion that they're naturally more prone to cheat because they're hardwired to "spread their seed" or some caveman logic like that. For women, there's this outdated idea that they're "emotionally wired" to nest and be nurturing, therefore more loyal. Come on, we're not living in a 1950s sitcom. It's 2023, and we know better than to box people into these dated roles.

The most dangerous thing about asking who's more loyal is that it sets up this toxic competition. Relationships shouldn't be about keeping score or playing into gender wars. If you're in a relationship, the goal should be to build each other up, not sit there wondering if your partner is going to live up to some stereotype. Loyalty is built on trust, communication, and mutual respect, not what's between your legs.

So if you're worried about loyalty, look at the individual, not the gender. Evaluate your relationship based on how you treat each other, how openly you communicate, and how committed you both are to making things work. That's gonna give you a way better gauge on loyalty than any men vs. women debate ever could.

[CaptainOverthink]

So far as I understand the things I've heard on the subject is that it variers in the times we're living through. That, it's not something static for one gender.
It has to do with whoever has the most opporotunity in the current era, which is decided by many factors such as:
- Shame and social status, is it okay to do so or will there be focused social pressure and exclusion. Today I hear more women bragging about their opitions and the disposability of men, Social media and feminism and 'the pill' I think is the cause of that, for better or worse.
- The dynamics of supply and demand, though it's a bit strange now-a-days. While currently there are plenty of females willing, few men are trying, the standards have never been lower for men to lay around, there's little competition, but we're barely competing. This I think has to do with feminism, gaming and the way internet algorithyms are lifting the loudes to the podium.
In summury of my opinions:
Modern technology are so new to us, it's affecting us in ways and through surreal dynamics.
We have not evolved to be able to mass-communicate like we do today and even though the distance is still great between individuals, their affect is still impacting, it's our nature to navigate social pressure, and generally, to conform to the group-demands. We are not being rational about how social media affects us in this regard because social pressure has more to do with feeling and intuition than thinking.

Femenism has been trending the last decade and it has been really elevated by social media and since it's been well documented that women are more feeling and intuitional than men, they've had a massive impact on western social pressure. The algorythms have prioretized the loudest and most negative voices (because it learned that uppsetting thémes gets more clicks and attention). The rational parts of feminism has had a hard time ruling this movement because online, we are all over the place, the loudes, most angry gets the spotlight and social pressure in the form of likes and negative feedback gets to steer the masses. Powerdynamics online are so new to us we are disrupted by it.

Gaming for men, has become the perfect get-away to escape emotional states like depression and hard times like learning to date while being very intense and rewarding on the competative side. This makes many men check out because we are not being driven to put in effort into things long term. We don't learn thexway we used to and fail under pressure because we're not used to pushing through it.
Porn is also removing that sexual angst of chasing the things we want. When we get horny we just pop in there and get rid of that driving angst by cuming at the screen. Undeserved release.

The pill came about in the 60s and changed our whole sexual dynamic. We can't go back and I love the freedom, but has it served us?


I woukd write for days.. but I gtg.

[Lliam]

What is the point of this question? To stereotype an entire gender; half the people on the planet? As if one gender is inherently more or less moral than the other?

Studies can be cherry picked to prove anyone's persona bias.
I can only speak from my own personal experience and what I have observed.

It seems to me that women are "generally" more loyal. Women fall in love. Guys are more outcome oriented. They want what they want. If a woman doesn't do what a guy wants, he'll toss her aside rather than trying to see her point of view or trying to work it out with compromise. Because a lot of guys think that women are inferior to men.

Women get married with dreams of children and a "they lived happily ever after" life. But some eventually get tired of being discounted and treated as employees, so they say fuck it and file for divorce.

All but one of my long-term girlfriends were loyal and would have married me if I had asked. I was the one who eventually moved on because I wasn't prepared to settle down for the rest of my life. I never cheated, though, because cheating is lying and no better than stealing.

One girlfriend turned out to be a psycho. I blame myself for falling for her ploy, but I had my reasons for doing so and benefited.

I finally met my future wife. At that point, I had done what I wanted to do in life and felt like I was mature enough to make a good life-long partner. We had both lived full lives before we met and (gasp) neither of us were virgins. But we've been happily married now for almost 26 years. We've had a LOT of fun and built a wonderful life together. We are best friends, equal partners, and trust each other completely.

[A_Bell]

Women aren't loyal at all, they jockey for position in the hierarchy and follow the alpha-b$tch. That's why I always hung out with guys.

They get mad at each other, make up and move on. They are there for each other and don't really care about being I control of friend groups.

It helped me develop a thick skin for insults and things because guys do it to show affection or at least respect. Women do it behind each other's back to destroy reputation and relative position in the social group.

in my opinion, it is really unhealthy.

[Mallic00]

That's kind of why the only girls I ever found myself getting along with are tomboys

[EmyyWolf]

Women.

Men have testosterone. This means; They find it harder/ difficult to stay with only one ☝️ female for life. Women don’t. Women have higher estrogen. More empathetic sympathetic, more emotional, more spiritual. Only undesirable men with no options can be faithful. This is why women usually reproduce with a good genetics male, and marry an undesirable male. OR, they will marry a male that is cowardly, weak or inexperienced.

[EmyyWolf]

@gayesblog

[Sonorous]

At around 15:36 he talks about the differences with even the scientific studies & basically how we don't really know who cheats more. But usually, it's logged that men do:

https://www.youtube.com/embed/k1RqVsiQffM

[Apple1996]

Neither... both genders are cheaters

[genericname85]

so i am in social science and i happen to know the objective stats on this. i don't remember all the exact numbers but the facts are:

1. men are more likely to cheat AFTER marriage.

2. women are more likely to cheat BEFORE marriage.

3. 70% of divorces are initiated by women.

forms of cheating by gender:

• Romantic kissing: M 68%; F61%
• Kissing and Fondling: M64%; F50%
• Sexual intercourse: M50%;F30%

i won't give you a conclusion. look at these facts and decide for yourself who's more "loyal".

Interesting fact: Higher testosterone level positively correlate with the likelyhood of cheating. so it's likely that men don't cheat more. just people with more testosterone cheat more and men typically have more of it.

[whirled_up_girl]

I believe your statistics are correct but they don't tell the whole story. There have been several studies over the past few decades that show men are more likely to divorce their wives when the wife has cancer or another type of chronic illness. This particular link shows that in a third of divorces happened when only the wife was ill and that a man's illness have no notifiable effect of divorce rates. www.hechtassociates.com/.../

This article only had one study reference but I chose it because of the sample size and the fact that the study was conducted over a decade. Feel free google more statistics or if you have access to a scholarly database.

[whirled_up_girl]

*noticeable effect*

[genericname85]

@whirled_up_girl well men also die more early. Guess that's also a way to be unloyal to your wife.

[whirled_up_girl]

@genericname85 Well, I'm guessing in general men don't choose to die early anymore than men or women choose to have cancer, so I don't quite understand what argument you are trying to make there.

[genericname85]

@whirled_up_girl the argument that I'm making is that there is litterally an infinite supply of information you could soak up in order to answer that question for you. You have to filter what information is relevant for the question and what is not. What is the percentage of people who leave their partner because of cancer in comparison to the overall population? Like you're looking at a tiny subset of the overall population there and then you take that to make a general statement about the overall population? That's as unreasonable as my response was in my opinion.

[whirled_up_girl]

@genericname85 Well, my original point was that you choose more statistics that only fit the narrative that men are more loyal than women in relationships. I'm sure there are a ton of statistics beyond just the ones either of us chose that would show loyalty or disloyalty is not something that is necessarily going to be correlated that be gender specific, and it might be controlled by other variables.

[genericname85]

@whirled_up_girl
Forms of cheating by gender
Romantic kissing: M 68%; F61%
Kissing and Fondling: M64%; F50%
Sexual intercourse: M50%;F30%
how exatly does that fit a "narrative" that men are more loyal. can you explain that to me? i'm not getting it. i did not have a narrative. i presented facts. and i honestly do not think that the facts i presented are particularly suited to make a very good argument for either side being more or less loyal.

[whirled_up_girl]

You're right, my mistake, I read it wrong. It looked like your second two facts were trying to cement the argument that women were less loyal especially with the 70 percent of women initiating divorce but without knowing the reasons for the divorce such as what percentage what causes by infidelity it would be difficult to say who was more disloyal in the marriage with that particularly statistic.

[genericname85]

@whirled_up_girl yeah cause i thought it was weird that you picked out a what seemed to me random statistic that fed your narrative that men are less loyal. i'm not saying that either side is more or less loyal. due to the nature of my education, i am very hesitant to make a conclusion and if someone shows signs of them making a conclusion based on a fact that they chose to be relevant, to me that just raises a lot of questions. and that's why my reply to that was kind of a dumb response. it's really not that simple and there's a LOT of normative baggage in even looking at that. so i really have to try to stay neutral.

[genericname85]

i probably could have done better but yeah this stuff is a lot of work. and looking at a stat and making a conclusion just flies right in the face of everything that i learned.

[genericname85]

especially since what i informally called "cheating" in my initial response is actually called "extradyadic behavior" in the scientific litterature. so extradyadic behavior includes cheating but also polygamy or open relationships. so it's really difficult to exclusively look at cheating. cause people really have also different ideas of what that even is.

[whirled_up_girl]

Yeah, that makes sense now and I agree.

[magiusX26]

in actual relationships, guys. having sex does not make a relationship, bonding does. more often than not, women believe sex means a relationship so they go from sex partner to sex partner thinking its relationships. where as a guy will stay with an actual life partner and actually be loyal more often than not. part of why is women' way of bonding is partly sex where a guy can have sex with no bonding involved. this is one reason a woman having a lot of sexual partners means she can't fully bond in the end and will end up alone (feelings wise) even if married.

[inhua]

the more options one has, the less loyal they are inclined to be

men tend to be polygamous, women tend to be hypergamous

top tier men have the most options and are therefore the least likely to be loyal

however the average woman has much more options than the average man and therefore is less likely to be loyal than the man

[KrakenAttackin]

@inhua. Absolutely correct.

[whirled_up_girl]

I think it would be difficult to attribute loyalty to a specific gender. I think a lot of has to do with society and environment. How are people raised? What kind of values have they been taught? What are the values have they observed of people around them, their parents and other role models. Were these observations at critical states of their emotional development. I think loyalty in a relationship could be dependent on many things.

[Kayla45]

Neither, both have a tendency to lie or cheat. There is no objectively one loyal gender. PEOPLE can be loyal, but using a whole gender to say which one of the two is more loyal isn't very accurate.

[Anonymous]

Most peope nwill say women are more loyal, because that is the long standing stereotype. But consider the fact that half of marriages end in divorce, 80% of them are filed by women, and lack of commitment is the biggest reason for divorce. That's the opposite of loyalty.

[Anonymous]

Men are gonna say men are more loyal and women are gonna say women are more loyal but in reality it's too diverse to give a real answer. No two men are the same and no two women are the same.

[Mallic00]

Guys, girls aren't loyal because they have no obligation to be, in fact many women are even encouraged to ditch their current boyfriend if they see something they think is better coming along. It's not that women actively try to be disloyal in relationships it's that there's little to no punishment for them if they don't.

[SolitarySolace]

Men/boys. Not saying men/boys never cheat, but women cheat for far more reasons than men. Men cheat for sex while women cheat for sex, validation, payback, emotional, etc

[Grovermint]

I've known people on both sides of that gender divide that have been cheated on, so in my opinion, based on the available data in my own life, neither.

[Ezra_lila]

It will be biased if I say Women so let's say 50/50 for safe answer.

[LiamJHayden]

People are individuals, and as individuals either have integrity or not.

[Reem12345reem]

women/girls , most often men will ruin their rltps bc they think by their dick only

[DextroShade]

Men, easily because most men cannot get a date let alone cheat. Only a small minority of men can cheat.

[AimeeKyle]

Varies by the individual, their character and the couple itself…. what particular sex they are doesn’t really matter

[REX_JSWL]

It's not about gender it's about relationship
If you promise some one wine and then give them tea obviously their will be conflict

[TonyMetal___86]

In the past, for sure women were a lot more loyal than men but these days, i guess both are unloyal

[Anonymous]

People are generally as loyal as thier options.

Ask yourself which gender has more options and you have your answer.