What was the thing that ruined your last relationship?

Question

provokeesmokee · Accepted Answer

Few things.

Her anxious-avoidant tendencies. She liked me, told me as much, but was so shy and avoidant she literally would run away from me if I tried to be physically affectionate. I do not chase, that registers to me as being creepy. So it was something that definitely showed me I wasn't the best fit for her.

She also had some deep and unrealised feelings for a married friend of hers, which she confessed to me without realising how what she was saying sounded. Or even realising her own feelings for this married woman in a conscious way. I've been cheated on, and like she told me as well, I don't like sharing. That she told me she didn't want to share me but had an unconscious expection that I share her was enough for me to recognise the relationship was doomed to fail.

We dated for 5 months and I learned a lot about myself, and so did she. I learned I am very physical and require someone physically affectionate, I also learned I'm much more romantically attracted to women than men. She learned she needed to keep a cleaner house and also discovered asexuality (she is an older woman who grew up in a religious and sheltered family - she came out during COVID as a lesbian and didn't know she could also be ace).

Since breaking up, I've learned it wasn't just me she had a hard time communicating with. Even her closest friends have a hard time communicating with her.

I wish her the best, and I greatly enjoyed our time together, but we weren't compatible.

jennifer_bloom · Accepted Answer

I think I was too needy and not positive enough cause I did not know how to build a positive and supportive methodology of conversation creation. My verbal and logical structure was depressing and self abasing cause I had no experience and was reactive rather than responsive or positively calculating in my dialogue and behaviour.

dynamicyandere · Accepted Answer

Mainly a lack of cooperation.

We would have conflicts, we would discuss how to resolve problems, we’d BOTH agree on how we would do things moving forward.

She’d never keep her word.

For example…

She had a spending problem. I used my own money to pay off her credit cards (20k worth of debt). We agreed we would turn over a new leaf, cut up her credit cards, and get control our finances, since we shared a joint account and shared an apartment.

She agreed.

Then later, she opens up a new credit card behind my back, charging our joint account and racks up 10k in purchases that she never discussed with me.

If she’s going to spend 10k, she should have asked if more than half of that is my money.

This pattern happened over and over again until I had enough.

Sonorous · Accepted Answer

It was back in 2017 but I had to cut ties with a friend of mine because they were more negative about my accomplishments than they were positive about them. For instance, if I spend hours working on something, no matter how bad that I am at it now, the last thing I want to hear is how generic it is. It still took effort to do. And that's what I appreciate about the friends I let in my life now. They're able to still be kind about something even if I'm not as good at it as they are. They're able to be humble.

petitedollbabee · Answer

He cheated, twice, for no reason. We had an open relationship and he was free to sleep with anyone that he wanted, aslong as he followed these rules: always use protection, always tell me who and when it is, and always shower and change your clothes when you get home (we lived together). But yet, he slept with someone twice,  without  telling me,  without  using protection, and  didn’t  shower when he returned home and he got straight into our bed while smelling like another women and sweat. He had the freedom to sleep around as much as he wanted aslong as he followed those 3 super simple rules! I had no problem following those rules.

Smashingdoozy · Answer

We discussed in depth moving in together, I had enough money to buy a house, we looked at houses together and found the perfect one to move into that was close to both of our work places. I paid the deposit, got about a week from settlement and he disappeared off the face of the earth. A couple weeks after settlement he finally showed up and told me he was moving back to his hometown with his parents and that he just isn't ready for this commitment.

Needless to say I was livid.

Rei13 · Answer

My last serious relationship? He travelled for work and we did not do well with long distance. We didn’t have the best communication skills and when he was home more we could see when the other person was getting upset and work through it, however going to primarily texting and talking on the phone we failed pretty miserably. He is a great guy, we’re just not compatible. I have much better communication with my current boyfriend and even when he has gone out of town to visit his mom for a few days to a week we do fine.

NamerOfStars · Answer

Her getting  way  too hot in an argument and trying to slap me- then, when I caught her hand with mine and held her arm still against the struggle of her entire body weight while giving her a  VERY  serious "No. No violence.", trying to hit me AGAIN with her other hand.

Bricealan · Answer

I felt she was being very uncaring and sloppy in her dress, when we went to a dressy occasion, and I always felt like I had to 'dress down' for her. I did not put any effort into our sexual relationship, and was very selfish in that regard.

thegreenyogi · Answer

My partners mental health issues. The communication was extremely difficult so there were continuous disagreements.

Sweetsurprize · Answer

Him being too angry and not loving/caring about me enough. Sad but true.

Finchie40 · Answer

Selfishness and lies, being with a girl that only cared about herself, that could never admit she was wrong, Her way or no way

ProbablyClueless · Answer

She just straight up wouldn't put in any effort. She refused to invest in the connection at all

Nikki1989 · Answer

He was so insecure, it was hard work being with him.

WhereIsMyMind · Answer

He was moving back to his city a couple of hours away, I didn't want to do long distance so I ended things.

exitseven · Answer

It was a long distance relationship and she did not put very much effort into it.

LaFemmeFatale_1 · Answer

Long distance mainly.

Anonymous · Answer

He didn’t like me the way i wanted a boyfriend would. Leaving him was the best decision of my life. Met the love of my life after a year of being single.

Anonymous · Answer

Her constant cheating (which i never forgave her for and possible never will), her mental and emotional abuse (which i never forgave her for and possible never will), her old drug and drinking habits

Anonymous · Answer

Drugs which led to lying and therefore I couldn't trust him anymore.

Anonymous · Answer

I loved him too much and he got annoyed and left me

Anonymous · Answer

Catfishing but we got back together so it didn't completely ruin it.

Gaz54321 · Answer

I was too insecure thinking she was cheating on me it actually cost me a friendship

Anonymous · Answer

She moved for university, long distance doesn't work

Lisia · Answer

He was a pathological liar

BadApple69 · Answer

My wife sleeping with her boss.

mandyfire98 · Answer

We just grew apart honestly.

OfMiceandMen · Answer

Lack of effort.

rachel776 · Answer

being apart too much

sheenagwapa · Answer

lack of communication

TacosRAwesome · Answer

My insecurities and his drinking problems.

haana · Answer

him being too insecure and manipulative

sheikalana · Answer

Different opinions.

MikeInHawaii · Answer

It was that damned restraining order!

SolitarySolace · Answer

She cheated. They all cheated.

JosyJosy · Answer

I fell out of love, so I ended things.

Ironic_Method · Answer

Distance! People just need that physical intimacy.

SeaStorm1 · Answer

Being toxic and blaming trust issue.

LiamJHayden · Answer

Undoubtedly it was I.

Anonymous · Answer

Took BDSM to extreme

BoopBoopBeep · Answer

Narcissism.

Guido · Answer

A money hungry ex wife.

On_cloud_wine · Answer

A girl

Anonymous · Answer

She was asexual

Ava1993 · Answer

She was mentally abusive.

hornyguytbh · Answer

Her being very much aggressive

Ezra_lila · Answer

Distance.

Anonymous · Answer

Long distance and its associated problems.

butterly248 · Answer

Being teenagers

MissBoogus · Answer

He was a phedophile

Twalli · Answer

She wasn't real

Minahh · Answer

Narcissistic ex

kittygalsblogx · Answer

long distance

jimmy2 · Answer

Death

In_Trance · Answer

mismatched values

MaxUsefull · Answer

Distance

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