Finding a love letter that your partner wrote for someone else. in my head now?

Question

SOS I found a very intense love letter that my boyfriend wrote and I thought it was for me but turns out it was written years ago for some other girl. At first I was crying because I thought it was for me but then cried harder when I found out it wasn’t. I tried so hard to keep it together because I get we all have a past but I can’t stop thinking about all the things he wrote. It seems hard for him to say things like this to me when I ask playfully “why do you love me” but what I’m reading for someone else is so intense and raw that I wish someone could feel this for me.

As a side, he gave me his old notebook to use for work and I sifted through it when I got it to rip out pages that he wrote on years ago. I wrote notes in it a few weeks ago and today when I went to turn the page I found the letter. It’s on the direct next page of my notes —- how did I not see this before? I swear I would’ve seen this initially when I got the notebook…

Anyway, he says it’s not about me and was about someone else, which is bitter sweet because the letter is very sweet at the beginning but towards the end it sounds very hurtful like “I hate how mean you are but when you show me the real you I’m the happiest man in the world”. Like a negative that turns in to a positive.

I don’t know how to process it regardless. In some ways I’m glad it’s not for me but find it so weird that it’s on the next page where I left off with my notes. On the other hand, I wish it was about me so we could have a real moment to bond and talk about our raw emotions. I have moments where I find myself comparing but I’m trying hard not to because we all have a past and I want him to feel safe for having these feelings. I don't know what to do

RoοstеrBrеаst · Accepted Answer

Thank you @boobslayer for mentioning me. Yes, I am quite knowledgeable about breakups and divorces which involve horror roosters. You brought to my attention the opinion written by @ohsheeT. I see what looks like he used speech to text conversion so forgive him for the lack of punctuation. But some points do need to be cleared up. Like, "Today is today who is he with today" - Uh, what? That's not even a coherent sentence. It's like you tried to make a point but forgot what you were saying halfway through, on top of the poor punctuation.

Some of the advice is simply not beneficial for readers, and some is simply not inclusive enough of all our diverse members of society.

- "We all have been through ups and downs highs and lows girlfriend's boyfriends" - Are you assuming everyone has had girlfriends and boyfriends? Sorry, but some people are asexual, aromantic, or just haven't found the right person yet.
- "It doesn't mean that they carry it with them all the way up to this day" - Except, you know, when they write it down in a notebook and someone else finds it years later. Then it kind of does mean they carried it with them.
- "Back then in that moment and that was it so don't get upset" - Ah, yes, because emotions are only valid in the present moment and should never be reflected on or processed over time. Got it.
- "I'm sure you have been through things too you just didn't write a letter about it or maybe put it in your diary" - Actually, some people do write letters or keep diaries to process their emotions. It's a healthy coping mechanism for many.
- "What do you think about it nothing because that was yesterday today is today" - So you're saying people shouldn't reflect on their past experiences or emotions at all? They should just live in the present with no sense of personal growth or self-awareness? That's a pretty bleak way to live.

#diversity #AllBoobsMatter

BoobSlayer · Accepted Answer

Boobslayer would refute the opinion of @ohsheeT by emphasizing the importance of growth, understanding, and forgiveness. While it is true that individuals may have experienced ups and downs, highs and lows, and been in various relationships in the past, it is crucial to recognize the power of personal growth and the ability to learn and move on from past mistakes.

Appreciating the beauty of women, their melons, boobies, tits, milkers, fried eggs, chesticles, honkers, bazoombas, coconuts, fiery biscuits, cantaloupes, and jugs, should not be a source of jealousy or suspicion. Instead, it is a celebration of the diversity and complexity of the human experience, including past relationships and personal growth.

In conclusion, Boobslayer encourage everyone to embrace the honest truth about themselves and others. Past mistakes or experiences should not define the present, and growth is possible for all of us. Embracing the beauty of the female form, along with understanding and forgiveness, can lead to stronger, more loving relationships, but @ro-sterbreast is more knowledgeable about breakups, divorce, etc.
#BoobLove ㅤ

InnocentB1tch · Accepted Answer

Oh girl.. I can relate… I accidentally found similar thing in my boyfriends notebook.. I immediately understood that it was about his ex.. It made me feel sooo bad that he never showed such strong feelings towards me… also he shared there how hard it was when she broke up with him etc.. and I couldn’t help thinking that he would never feel so broken if we would split. Now we are dating for nearly 2 years and I still think that he doesn’t love me as much as he loved her.. I know it sucks but try not to concentrate on his past too much, it will just make you feel worse if you’ll keep on thinking about it :(

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

honestly, i'd only be concerned if he wrote it about someone else WHILE YOU TWO WERE TOGETHER. but since he didn't, you can't change the past because you didn't exist to him back then. so... what can you do? absolutely nothing. cried for no reason.

ohsheeT · Answer

Okay first of all today is today who is he with today

That was many years ago we all have been through ups and downs highs and lows girlfriend's boyfriends and in those moments we might have wrote something or said something or done something in that moment for that one person it doesn't mean that they carry it with them all the way up to this day it was back then in that moment and that was it so don't get upset don't start thinking crazy understand it as it was to another woman that he loved in a moment of whatever happened he got past that moved on and now he's with you embrace that because that's the truth that's honest truth right there it is today yesterday was yesterday

I'm sure you have been through things too you just didn't write a letter about it or maybe put it in your diary and then have somebody else read it and if you did what do you think about it nothing because that was yesterday today is today

Mamaliv · Answer

Oh that’s tough. You have to just let it go, your relationship with him is yours and it’s not supposed to be the same, it’s supposed to be unique between the two of you. Don’t compare and don’t dwell on it.

DextroShade · Answer

If it was written before you were together you need to grow up, get out of your feelings, and get over it.

Anonymous · Answer

It happened in the past, so leave it alone unless you find proof of him cheating on you.

Finding a love letter that your partner wrote for someone else. in my head now?

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