Boyfriend has a secret crush on another girl and doesn't know that I know. What should I do?

[Anonymous]

Been together 6 years. Both in our 20s. Recently noticed him liking literally every single post of this specific random girl he follows on IG. And a couple times when I went on his search bar history, her profile is there waiting to be clicked... I feel so hurt b/c it's obvious that he fancies this girl a lot to go out of his way to search up her profile and look at her pics. What makes me feel worse is that he gives no hesitation to like her pics but when ever I post selfies he hardly likes any of them. I always thought your boyfriend was supposed to be your #1 fan but it looks like he's too busy being hers. This girl doesn't even post anything provocative, she's just really pretty and shows similar interests as my boyfriend. Besides this he treats me well, gives me compliments regularly, shows love and spoils me but I just can't help feeling betrayed and like a settlement still compared to this girl. Its to the point where I just want to go in his phone and secretly unfollow her myself from his account and have her unfollow him but really I'd rather bring it to his attention and ask him why he's stalking her, see what he says? I don't know I just want to know for sure do you think my reason of hurt is valid?

[front2back]

First, it's hard to judge things merely on Instagram posts.
If he isn't talking to her actively nor if she's close to him, she isn't a 'threat" to you overall. You mentioned she has similar interests and isn't posting anything provocative, could just be his "online" darling similar to how many women have male celebrities they like.

However, this is concerning behavior. You mentioned you can access his phone and I feel like if he truly was trying to hide something he wouldn't let you access his phone, unless you are accessing it covertly. The real question is if Instagram is the only like he has to her or if there's something you don't know about.

This is personal conjecture here but the fact you have been dating for several years and not married is very strange to me. Could be different expectations from a relationship but I couldn't see myself dating a woman for more than 3-4 years without marrying her. If you are expecting marriage it sadly seems that isn't on his radar at this point.

Lastly, your best course of action is to approach him directly on your relationship. Ask if he feels bored and what he sees as his future with you. If you get vague or dismissive answers that's enough to know it's time to leave without even bringing up the Instagram.
If he reacts aggressively to the question however, that's the time to bring up the girl. That likely means he knows you know something and it's projecting his insecurity on to you.

Unfortunately there aren't really many solid answers I or those more insightful than I can give regarding this type of situation due to there not being clear signs of infidelity.

[boggboss]

Sure it's valid I think its silly but you are allowed to feel how u do lol although some of it is self inflicted with u snooping which shows u don't trust him in the first place but yes if u went to unfollow her it wouldn't fix the issue speak to him about it and go from their

[Anonymous]

I would speak to him about it first. No matter what though, from my own experience, liking other girls photos is a form of “lusting” after them with their eyes.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

My ex had a crush in Audrey Hepburn.

I once found her poster in his notebook.

He never knew I knew it.

[slatyb]

She's not available to him. He may like her posts, but that doesn't mean he's thinking of leaving you for her.

[eagle1951]

well you could always do the same thing with another guy, see what he thinks about it

[Anonymous]

If you don't feel like he loves you, leave him

[Anonymous]

Dump him.