do people who have dated many people but have broken up with all them have a better idea of what a good relationship should be like then a person who has only dated one person that they happy and are still together with?
It’s not quantity, it’s quality.
If someone said that they worked 6 jobs over the last year (one after the other) I would wonder why do they keep switching? Are they unable to hold a job?
If someone worked 1 job for 3 years and has gotten multiple promotions, and they enjoy working there, then it shows they’re doing something right.
But if someone had 1 job for a long time and has never been promoted and hates working there and has never moved up the ladder, I wouldn’t take career advice from them.
Another example is pickup artists who have dated loads of women. Sure, they can attract. But how many of them have been able to hold a relationship for a year?
It’s a different skillset you see.
Attracting a person and keeping a person happy via great relationship skills (e. g. conflict resolution) are different skills that take time and experience to hone.
So you see, experience is what you want to look for, but experience is based on quality rather than quantity.
More people doesn’t mean more experience if they have never learned anything from those people.
It takes an introspective person to truly learn everything one can from a failed (or successful) relationship.
So to recap…
1. It’s about experience.
2. It’s not quantity of experience but quality of experience.
3. But in order to gain that quality experience, one must be introspective so they can pull wisdom out of their successes and failures.
I think what a good relationship is depends on the person.
I would imagine that those who have been in several relationships have a better idea of what they like or don't like in a relationship, but that may not necessarily translate to other people.
As for those who have only been in a few or just one, I think the chances there that they haven't got a clue, even though they think they d, are much much higher.
In your early relationships you are very much basing your expectations off preconceived notions alone, so you may not realize how much better OR worse things could be.
Yes and no. I would say in general if you’ve dated more you have a better idea of what is good and bad as you have more experience to draw upon. You can look at past relationships and see what went right with them and what went wrong with either you, your ex, or both of you combined. When it is your first (or only) relationship it is harder to say if it is truly good or bad as you may think certain behaviors are normal when they are not. However if someone has dated a ton of people they may just keep choosing poorly and only have poor relationships to compare to each other.
Experience and learning from your past generally result in knowing more and being able to act on that knowledge.
But if someone's entire dating history is toxic or abusive relationships, that's the same as practicing the wrong thing.
So, usually, yes. But sometimes it'll make you worse.
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u Most people who have accumulated experience by dating numerous partners feel that their ability to assess someone as a potential partner, and their ability to be a good partner, has been enhanced because of their experience.
Just because you drive a lot of cars, does not make you a skillfull driver.
jack of all trade but master of none
If the one relationship has had its ups/downs but they’ve overcome those obstacles together and are steady improving, then the numbers don’t matter. For me, it took a few bad relationships with both of us being the problem in different ways, for me to finally get it. Now i treat my dudes better but it sadly took a lot of negative experiences to be able to do so
I've dated a lot after my divorce and it made me know exactly what I want in a partner. I don't know if it made me better at a relationship but it 100% helps in finding a better match which leads to a better relationship.
Good question. It depends on the person. Many people that date multiple people do so because they have a type, and are stuck in that loop. They essentially keep dating the same person over and over again. But other people learn something from each relationship they're in, which ultimately makes them better partners after each one. So it depends on the person, because not all people are self ware enough to learn from their mistakes.
Yes and no. Yes in that having experience with different people broadens your knowledge about partners, but not necessarily relationships. No in that lots of people have had many, many relationships but still don't really know what they want or how to be successful with them.
I don't think that having had more relationships gives you a better idea of what a good relationship should be like.
I think you lose a little bit of yourself with each one. And you can't get it back. Eventually, if you don't settle down in time, you will lose it all.
If you gamble on someone, you may lose. But if you don't you may also lose.
It depends on how long the relationships were. If you've had 18 relationships that didn't last more than a year, then the person who had 1 that lasted 4 years knows more. My girlfriend knew more about relationships than me, but I based success on my parent's relationship. Since theirs is better than most people could dream of, my standards were pretty high. Luckily my girlfriend met all of them and even met some I didn't know I had.
The more experienced you are the more you learn and the more you know about what you want and dont want. So yeah. Dont have to go through a dozen relationships though, if you pay attention and observe it can go as far as 3 relationships to know what a good relationship is lol.
I learned how to date (how to talk and get to know someone) by dating.
I gained more knowledge of relationships, women and myself, by being in relationships, not by dating. I think it is essential experience for personal growth.
With women it's usually a case that they've dated a lot and been passed on for a reason. Like I'd she's had 10 boyfriend's in 3 years, there's a reason
not really, but maybe.
they have a better idea of what they've been through. they don't know what they don't know...
Double standard. Yes for men. No for women. Wisdom says whichever is right. Had a coach who said his best players are one time guys, only have to be told once.
For me, the person who has dated more people is a better resource
no because they've been so many bad relationships it becomes normal
u It is like anything in life, experience means everything.
Not necessarily. A lot of folks keep repeating mistakes in all their relationships
In a roundabout way, because they have more of an idea what doesn't work.
If they can handle their emotions in a adult manner than yes. The majority just get jaded though
I have dated a lot and mostly what I've learned is what I do not want.
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