In need of genuine relationship advice, help?

[Anonymous]

So I’m just going to blunt and direct with my question and I apologize in advance if I upset anyone. I’m not trying to pull a pity party But I need advice, I need to know if it’s just time to give up. Every girl I’m attracted to physically either does not want me or if they are willing to talk to me they later say they were playing me and that I’m ugly and weren’t really attracted to me or just ghost me. last girl I REALLY wanted claimed to have had a crush on me but isn’t wanting to date atm, later to see she has a boyfriend, now I understand we live in two different states but we had a lot in common and I listened to her and cared and she gave that up, I was played again…. meanwhile on the flip side the only girls that want to date or mate are for lack of a better term obsess and I’m not attracted to them. But if I wanna date I essentially have to date them cause that’s all I got. And that isn’t fair to them or me. I’m currently sat in a two year relationship with a girl who catfished me, beautiful and curvy in picture but spent money to go to a different state to see her and she was big and not something I was attracted to, she can tell I’m not attracted to her but she’s so sensitive and I care about her and can’t leave cause of that…I’m always ending up with women I’m not attracted to and the ones I am attracted to either don’t feel the same about me or stop talking to me or just play me. I’ve worked on myself physically and mentally and emotionally and NONE of it has paid off, I’m not trying to pity but I genuinely need to know if I should just give up. I don’t want the “there is someone out there for everyone” line cause I’m proof there isn’t. I need honest answers.. thank you

[Oliverlogan263]

Dude, I feel you. Dating and finding somebody you really like who actually likes you back can be total BS sometimes. It sounds like you've put in a lot of effort to improve yourself, but haven't seen the results you want yet, which is super frustrating. A few thoughts:

- Don't give up hope entirely, but also don't hinge your self-worth on whether some girl likes you or not. Focus on living your best life for yourself first.

- The girl you're with now doesn't sound like a good match if attraction isn't there. Important to be honest with her and yourself about that.

- Might help taking a break from focusing so much on dating, give yourself a mental reset. Keep putting yourself out there socially with friends though.

- When you do get back out there, try putting less pressure on finding "the one" right away. Go in with the goal of meeting cool new people first, seeing where things go from there.

- Remember there's somebody for everybody. You just might have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your princess. Shit takes time sometimes, don't lose faith in yourself along the way.

Stay strong man. You got this. Keep working on you and good things will come.

[lightbulb27]

sounds like something going wrong in communication and I can only guess here... you project neediness and desperation and maybe not enough confidence/masculine. So, they make up excuses. eg. you be a nice guy.

the other girls go for nice cause it's what they can get and handle and for whatever reason, not drawn to them.

I recall giving up for years in frustration, it just comes back around. hopefully you mature more over time.

You are a blue image of text with a paragraph of text... what more do you want? I don't know you, no video, no photo, no history, no record of childhood traumas and parental training and experience nor culture.

Wild guess...

[Selene1600000]

You should not give up, but you do need to stop building relationships out of fear of being alone because that is trapping both you and the girl you are not attracted to. Staying in a relationship out of guilt is unfair to her and keeps you emotionally stuck, while chasing unavailable women keeps reinforcing rejection and insecurity in your mind. The goal is not to force attraction or force love, but to become comfortable enough with yourself that you stop accepting relationships you do not truly want and stop treating rejection like proof you are worthless.

[wilxcool]

Sounds like your standards are way too high. I think you need to work on yourself a lot more. This isn't a healthy way to view women or relationships. Also remember just because you think of yourself as a nice guy, doesn't mean women owe you their affection.