I think a little bit of jealousy is cute ☺️ just not the forbidding me to go outside thing
Jealousy Versus Love
Love is trust. Jealousy is suspicion.
Love comes from men that have confidence and high self-esteem. Jealousy is envy and lack of self worth.
Love is warm, tender and compassionate. Jealousy is rage.
Love is forgiving. Jealousy is unforgiving.
Men that love will lift their wives and lovers to the sky and give them freedom to be all that they can be. Jealous men control and confine, and will pull down their wives and girlfriends to their level and trample them under their feet. As a result, women that are loved will live up to expectations. Wives and lovers, who are belittled, spied on, questioned, denied privacy, and subjected to constant defamation and accusations, tend to live down to the suspicions of jealous men. After all, how can a wife maintain any self-esteem under those circumstances?
Love is the basis for confidence and high self-esteem. Jealousy is envy and lack of self worth.
Love is warm, tender and compassionate. Jealousy is rage.
Love is forgiving. Jealousy is unforgiving.
Love gives the confidence and self-assurance for men to have pride when other men show attention and admiration toward their wives and lovers. Jealous men are fearful and envious of the same admiration.
Men that love will risk their lives to protect their wives from any real harm. Jealous men will beat their wives and threaten other men over imaginary fears.
Now, none of the above implies that love will be blind to the facts. Nor does it mean that a loving husband will accept much infidelity. However, a well adjusted husband will weigh years of fidelity against one or two short indiscretions and make the correct and logical decision.
To be honest this is all about jealousy is not one's fault it is the fault created by the partner, we all have been brainwashed thinking it is one's problem that he came with or her but this is not true, yes how we handle this jealousy is our own fault and it is different for everyone because we are different people and have different tolerance etc.
So is it a red flag, yes it is if its too much because it means your just not doing a good job in making sure your partner is not jealous or that the jealousy they feel is explained by you or you reassure them that nothing to be worried about.
Trust me it's like this, and I also want to say both partners will come to a point of much jealousy at some point in time so take your time explaining to them now because once you too get jealous they will use your example as a way to learn the right way.
My ex girlfriend did a good job at making sure my concerns are treated and I do the same for her, It cost nothing, yes it might happen a couple of times but it's not forever, we broke up not because of cheating but because of other reasons we were not just mature enough mentally for the relationship more on her side to want to end it because she has reached a limit where she refuse to keep going because her relationship knowledge is a lot smaller than mine and a lot she sti is yet to know or learn and refuse to take it from me because she thinks an wrong or tricking her so that is why.
But jealousy? Please do your part in explaining to your partner it helps, be patient.
Jealousy is not a red flag in lost cases, it is the person behaviours and character that will determine that. If the person was originally obsessed, abusive then yh it's a red flag but when you turn an innocent person to a monster cause u refuse to be careful how u act around others, then no rather that person is the red flag.
Thank you.
To feel jealous is a natural emotion when you you are attached to the person you are with, and when the thought of them being swept away by someone else, or the thought of them cheating bothers you.
If neither of those thoughts bother you, it means you’re completely detached and you could care less if they stay or leave.
But if you truly love them, you would want them to stay with you.
So jealousy is a natural byproduct of love.
Now, just because it’s natural to feel, doesn’t mean one should let it control them or behave in a toxic way.
Just like it’s natural to feel angry, but it doesn’t make it okay to start being abusive.
Feeling jealousy is normal, but one needs to control it and not let it control them.
Jealously will become a red flag if left unchecked and unrestrained.
See my ex when i was in a relashionship didn't care that a thought his friend was nice looking he asked me which friend was nicer looking and when we where going out with each other I was lying in bed when his 2friends came into see him and one of his friends stayed look at u all cozy and his friend came in to the bed and cuddled me and saying funny things and sarcastic stuff for a few minutes my ex and his other friend where laughing obv his friend that was in the bed wasn't unde the covers with me but my ex didn't seem to care that even his friend came into his bed and cuddled me saying funny thing a could tell he wasn't bothered not jealous he couldn't care and I would think he would say get out or something he was a prick mostly
See, that kind of reaction almost borders on apathy for your affection
And to me? This Apathy from my boyfriend would make me think i my affection was neither here nor there with him.
Thats a far bigger red flag than a boyfriend who became appropriately jealous and took some sorr of inspired action to remove this other man hands from my body.
Maybe my age but that my take
It can also be manipulation
Yeah, apathy isn’t a good sign. A couple times when I was on the brink of breaking up with someone, I’ve reached the point of apathy. It’s that point where I honestly could care less if they stay or leave.
Now, for the manipulation part. That could be true too. If it’s acting, it’s like they’re acting as if they aren’t attached and could leave at any moment, and that might make the other person try to earn their love and affection by bending over backwards for them to secure the relationship.
No! Jealousy in and of itself is not a redflag. Unless it is used dispropportionately to the situation. I actually think its sweet when my partner gets a bit jealous of my time n attention.
jealousy is a natural and innate biologically engrained emotion that we feel when we notice our partner either giving or receiving too much intense emotional attention and/time to another person, thing, or project.
In the right measure? It lets your partner know how much your attention matters to them and that they treasure it and dont want to lose it.
We of course can feel threatened. And thats when its time to have a chat to let them know how this intense time and attention to another makes us feel.
If you matter to them? They will understand, self-reflect, and tone it down.
Too much jealousy? For little flirtations shows loss of control.
No jealousy at all? That to me shows that you're apathetic whether you come or go.
So, be real. Affirm eachother. Neither try to control nor be apathetic.
Opinion
61Opinion
It Is But One Would Need to Look Deep in That Situation at Hand, And Ask WFT is UP and WHY? xxoo
u Depends on the intensity and the frequency of the jealous behavior.
I don't think it's a major red flag unless an individual shows that they may not be able to control their jealousy & may let it out in harmful ways.
I think it's natural and not unhealthy to feel protective and a little possessive of your SO and relationship which is what people mean by jealousy nowadays. People are just desensitized and find it so normal to never be truly commited in relationships that they put red flags on healthy behaviors. It's normal and healthy to feel insecure (omg scary word) about your partner flirting left and right, eyefucking other people down in the streets walking next to you and scrolling thirst traps the second you turn your back. For me porn addictions and dating apps have just completely brainwashed people into believing it's normal to expect no actual commitment from your commited relationship and that you're the psycho if you have an issue with it.
Trudat squared my dear.
A a man says hello in the grocery store and is labled creepy but the same man can watch hard core porn all day and thats labeled normal and healthy since he's not hurting anyone. Like what tha?
Listen, we ALL wrestle with “im not worthy im not good enough” no matter rich or poor educated or not.
It is OKAY to be insecure. Think of it as optimization data.
“Whoah i feel jealous. It means i care n this person matters to me. Its okay to feel my feelings. Even though im feeling insecure right now i can control my actions, and still extend trust to my partner.”
All good
I'm considering ending an 8 month relationship, because I've realized he's trying to make me jealous by flirting with another women in front of me while ignoring me.
His tactic is working, because he's triggering my insecurities. If I wasn't jealous it would mean I didn't care about losing him. But if he cared, he wouldn't intentionally try to invoke jealousy within me.
I made the mistake of talking to him about it. He reassured me, then continued to flirt but this time with a smirk on his face.
I consider jealousy as another word for insecurities. We all have them. But if someone is in a relationship where they feel their jealous is detrimental to their mental health or to their partners mental health then they should consider ending the relationship. I know I need to because I've realised how toxic it's becoming.
Girl, you deserve better. I knew a guy who also tried to make his girlfriend jealous on purpose by flirting with every girl he knew.. but while doing that he also did worse than flirting behind her back.
I believe he's cheating. I have made the decision to end for the sake of my mental health
I'm proud of you!
Anyone who is intellectually honest. Anyone with understanding and some wisdom knows the fact that jealousy is just a 100% natural and normal human emotion... just like fear, love, anger, worry, joy... etc.
In and of themselves they aren't good or bad. They just are.
Now, there is a spectrum. It is normal for a bonded, exclusive pair to want exclusivity and to feel jealous sometimes if another attractive person had a lot of his mate's time or access to be too close to his mate or spend too much quality time with his mate.
As with all spectrums they can swing to both extremes or be in the middle range. Some of the extremes of jealousy can be bad just like being too fearful, too angry, always angry, too worrisome, always worried... etc.
People who just act like any jealousy ever is a red flag, that is actually a red flag about them. Of course, some jealousy is normal. Overt and extreme jealousy can be a red flag.
Jealousy in relation to what? A committed relationship?
I don't understand people's point of saying it is a natural and normal emotion. It's still bad if you goal is to last.
I'm not so sure it is a natural thing to feel but it is normal.
In Islam, there's a concept known as "Ghayrah," which can be translated to "protective jealousy" in English. In a relationship, having this protective jealousy between men and women is considered positive. The absence of this protective jealousy is seen as undesirable, and the person is called Cuckold. For example, if your partner is interacting flirtatiously with someone else, it's not considered a good thing. It's also encouraged for both men and women to avoid provocative clothing and actions that may be seen as inappropriate. Additionally, it's advisable not to allow unfamiliar individuals into the home when one's partner is absent, with exceptions for close acquaintances. These principles are valued and promoted in relationships within the Islamic tradition.
Jealousy is necessary but not sufficient to sustain a relationship... How could you say you love me... when you see me with someone else and you don't feel a sharp pain, or a sudden pounding of your heart, a little bit anger... Yes, I expect you to tamper your jealousy with reason and logic... but you should still be jealous even when it's irrational... I will find it sweet. And naturally if you're a healthy human being it should not go beyond that... no violence, no forceful actions. Then you should know that the moment I start responding to your sweet jealousy with anger... know certainly that something is wrong with our relationship... the love is fading... this is when the real suspicion should set in.
Depends on each relationship, I guess. For example:
I find that when my current partner gets jealous and possessive, it is often subtle so I find it rather cute as I am the same with him. He doesn't do anything as such when he is jealous, gets a bit clingy but also sulky at the same time, which is adorable to me. So I give him lots of cuddles and enjoy it a little.
In my previous relationship however, when he was jealous, he would fly off the handle and get super angry with me. Like it was my fault for how he was feeling. At the time, I liked it as I knew nothing about how long term relationships were meant to be.
So if it is controlling and is over the top, I would count that as a red flag. But if it is subtle and they don't do it often to a controlling state, I wouldn't say so.
A little bit of jealousy is no problem at all.
But when is becomes more then just a little bit it can very toxic indeed.
My ex was so extremely jealous at some point during our relationship, that I tried to avoid all contact with other females because even if a girl would just randomly ask me in a store where she can find the tomato's she would freak out about it and it always resulted in arguments.
Never ever will I accept my girlfriend to be anywhere near the jealousy level that my ex was.
When jealousy is going to cause unnecessary arguments all the time... I think it isn't just jealousy anymore but instead is lack of thrust in your partner
What I see coupled with your question is one or the other person deliberately trying to make her/his mate jealous. That in itself is wrong, and I have seen couples do that. I had a girlfriend like that, for a long period. No longer. BUT THAT SAID:
All I had to do was talk to another girl and maybe pet her companion animal that she had, and that same girlfriend acted like a high school spoiled brat. I could not live with that either.
The key phrase there is 'little bit'
anything beyond that and yeah its a red flag. especially if they act out or attempt to control you 'don't talk to you guy/girl friends anymore.' It can come across as immature and yeah a bit controlling.
I personally can get jealous but i try to not show it or let it get out of hand :P
I get jealous yeah but you gotta know how to keep it under control. Use your brain over your emotions. Don’t react without truly understanding things.
What kind of jealousy?
There is the light side of jealousy where you think but don't react because you know he won't play games and there is jealousy where you start asking who was that, who you writing with, who called you, who you talked to.
If you ask and he answers either you accept the answer or you fuck up the situation and go on his nerves where it start becoming toxic.
I agree that a little jealousy can be cute. It shows your partner really doesn't want to lose you, however when they try and prevent you from doing things because they are jealous thats an issue. They should trust you enough to assume you won't do anything with others.
We are all individuals, once you become the age of adulthood don’t let anyone control you. Be kind to one another, when need be give space to one another. If some guy you are dating says you can’t do something it’s time to say bye bye.
If there is a disagreement on something you want to do than talk it out… try to understand one another. But a controlling partner isn’t a partner at all, it’s a boss… and bosses all suck!
Update: everyone gets jealous. But what you described was control. My girlfriend has many friends some are males. Last night for example she was meeting a male friend for dinner. Yes I felt jealous a bit but I didn’t forbid her from seeing him. Relationships are built on trust. Any guy who forbids you from doing things is not a guy you want to date or marry.
In my experience, jealousy is a very powerful and effective tool with which a savvy woman can have practically any guy in the palm of her hand in mere minutes. Your guy will either be able to handle it or he won't, but it always gets me job done.
Jealousy is one of the most important, soul cleansing elixers the world has ever seen, and like iron or cod liver oil, a small helping from time to time is an immeasurably healthy tonic for all of us, particularly men, teenagers and young boys. And there is no better or feared erosion of jealousy than the sexual frustration --
Guys And Ladies, Is Not Getting Any Pussy Sometimes Even Better Than Getting It? ↗
It’s not bad.
It’s annoying to recieve.
But it’s not bad.
It means the person hasn’t recovered from the thing that was done to them that created the jealousy.
Mean people like to get loud and say stuff like “she is jelous, she’s psycho because she’s a jealous person, etc” mean people are only adding to the equation
Is the way they deal with jealousy that is a red flag. Everyone who loves gets a bit jealous here and there but if you tend to have an aggressive behavior, victimize yourself and go crazy and burst every time you get jealous that's a huge red flag. If you don't know how to control your emotions that's a red flag.
Nope, it can become toxic but when it's not, it shows that a woman cares enough about you to feel threatened to a certain point about certain situations and the truth is that jealousy comes from a place of love, if they didn't care, they would feel jealous, women also behave adorably when they are jealous, underrated opinion.
My boyfriend said he’d be ok with me having an only fans depending on what I’m doing on there 🙄. Ngl that kinda makes me feel like he doesn’t care about me. He also said he’d be cool with me going to male strip clubs. So yeah that’s kinda weird …yeah I like a little bit of jealousy cause it kinda feels like he doesn’t want me bad enough
I think its natural to feel a bit jealous. BUT if it ventures into them not trusting me, then we have an issue. If they were to get jealous of me just talking to someone, then thats an absolute red flag. Thats controlling behavior at that point.
I think jealousy brings no benefit to a relationship. It's fear, the fear of losing someone. At the same time been jealous in the context of something that clearly don't match with your values and specially with what you agree with your partner, is a valid response.
There maybe be a reason a person get jealous, maybe they just got out of a bad relationship, where the other person maybe chested on then, and they where lied to regularly, maybe they keep hearing don't worry we are just friends while, things where Going on behind their back. They could be a deep root reason why their might be a level of jealous. Maybe they are also afraid they may lose their partner to someone else looking, richer, more popular, better job.
No. Jealousy is good. Acting upon it is bad.
Your boyfriend being jealous you're talking to another guy means he cares.
Now, if he's gonna wanna throw hands. That's embarrassing.
You should also be able to get the hints from your boyfriend if he looks at you or comes over to you. Don't embarrass him either.
A lot of women unknowingly embarrass their men
I don't think it's cute. But a little bit of jealousy is not bad. But if jealousy make you very possessive and clingy, you need to manage that. Of course, I get jealous, but when I do, I recognize it and look for a solution. I think of ways I can improve myself to become a happier version of myself. But I will never bring other people down due to my jealousy.
That depends on how you define jealousy. If you use the textbook definition, then yes. But if you go off the dating trend of calling your partner putting up boundaries as "jealousy" then I find that a good thing. If your partner is truly jealous, then they usually don't trust you to be faithful.
I think in the right proportions in some weird kind of way it shows me you care and don't wanna lose me.. I don't know I might be toxic 😂
But when it's extreme that's detrimental
If a man is running around on his wife, his wife will most certainly be jealous and rightfully so, and vice versa if a woman is running around on her husband, her husband will be jealous. That kind of jealousy is normal and healthy.
It's all about the fine line of how you handle that jealousy. How you communicate it to your partner. And whether or not you become controlling and distrusting because of it.
Depends if it’s warranted if it is then it isn’t a red flag but their partner is if they know their actions are the cause of that jealousy and haven’t addressed their partner’s distress over the situation
No jealousy is natural and even justified if something that's yours seems to be unjustifiably being taken away.. Everybody will get jealous when that happens..
Let's say we are out to eat and the waitress flirts with me.(one way flirting) You get jealous and it ruins the meal. That would be a red flag to me. Not so much a person getting jealous but how they handle it.
I believe that it is a natural emotion also. Too much jealousy can be unhealthy though and drive you crazy. But like being a but jealous because of small things like because your guy works with a pretty girl or because he looks at another girl. Yeah
We're all human, We all got jealous. Whether someone is Going to admit it or not. Like with anything there is a line That shouldn't be crossed.
Jealousy is normal.. it's important to hash out expectations so you can meet as close to middle as possible.. excessive jealous is bad though.. if there's on going trust issues.. sure flag away as red
To be jealous is normal sometimes, but to much jealousy can turn into possession and then it become a red flag
Some jealousy is good because it could be your gut telling you what your brain doesn't want to admit.
Past that point, it's bad.
Territorial is good thiugh and is different than jealousy
My ex was a very jealous person. If I didn't text her back right away she would get really upset. But when she wouldn't text me back when she's on a work trip for a week and was surprised I didn't get mad.
Jealousy is normal but how you handle it needs to be correct and you got to communicate about it
Depends on the degree. But to me, yea, open relationship is essentially needed for me.
I agree that a little jealousy can be cute, but not where it turns into trying to control the other person. That is a red flag to me.
No one is saying jealousy is not normal but romanticizing it is not. Like calling it “cute” when its a toxic emotion is not normal. I out of everyone get jealous a lot but i can still acknowledge its wrong and that i need to work on it and not romanticize it.
Okay that’s fine but romanticizing it is not and its not as simple as that it can lead to real violence when such ideas are romanticized were men feel possessive of women to an extent they are willing to m**der them or exhibit abusive behaviours in the name of jealousy and possessiveness
Basically you can just say you like it but don’t walk around saying things like “is jealousy really that bad” lmao because it is but if you like do you but don’t romanticize and normalize it
Yeah but it all starts cute but since its a toxic feeling in of itself it could escalate
Jealousy usually leads to wanting to control someone. Not good.
Oh you can still have threesomes.. don't worry
Nahhhh... if someone isn't a little jealous they don't like you enough. Unless it is constant insane jealousy, there is nothing wrong with it.
@Verdepaws
You nailed it.
It's been said that the opposite of love isn't hate because both require a strong emotional attachment. But the opposite of love is apathy.
Everyone has some degree of jealousy. That's fine, that is normal. Just how you control it will show your weakness and strengths in controlling it.
If someone is flirting with your man or woman then jealousy is justified.
Being jealous for petty and stupid things then that's when it becomes ridiculous.
I've never seen jealousy turn out to be a good thing.
I can see getting perturbed if one's significant other is grinding with someone else on the dance floor.
Jealousy itself - not a red flag.
Poor ways of dealing with jealousy - a red flag
Correct
depends on how jealous and controlling they are behaving.
No I like if a man feels that way. He can control me if he wants.
Jealousy is natural but acting on it can be detrimental
For you, yes. It’s your red flag that you lack trust.
It might be because he’s cheating. Or you’re cheating and projecting it. But that’s not really the point. Why is there such lack of trust? Is it lack of actual relationship?
Everything in moderation 😁 You don't want people to not care either 😁
It depends on the amount of jealousy and how it affects their behaviour. And if they are willing to admit to it. If they aren't it will likely be a building problem till it becomes a red flag.
its not, as long as its reasonable, and they dont try to control anything you do.
Tbh I agree with you. I've always liked it when my girl gets jealous. She gets all the love when she gets like that. So cute.
Generally speaking, I agree. It shows you how much she really likes you. Not to say another girl can't like you equally as much without jealousy, but I like the indication jealousy has.
Jealousy is a very insecure trait and bad for a relationship. I was like that in my early dating life but I learned and I never get jealous and neither does my wife.
Absolutely that's not jealousy it's more like abusive controlling behaviour
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