My boyfriend ruined us financially and I want to save us my doing sex work, but I want to keep it a secret from him. Should i?

[Anonymous]

Ok so recently my boyfriend quit is job to do crypto but it didn't work out in the end... And we are struggling financially, he is stressed depressed and he talks about it all the time, i know he is sincere and he feels bad. He really is a good guy and I really want to take care of him and help but im just a waitress and i dont make a lot of money... So i thought of going in a massage parlor just to helps us for 2 - 3 months so he can get back on track... But obviously he wouldn't want me to... So i would do this behind is back. I feel awful for thinking like this but we really are struggling financially and im scared we are going to lose our apartment if I don't make money now. I dont have any family to helps and he is from a poor family so they can help, they can't let us live with them they don't have any place. I don't want to ask my friends for help because im really embarrassed... I just want to know if i keep this secret from my boyfriend im an awful person? I really love him and i would do anything so he doesn't have to stress about money I don't know...

[RavVid]

DON'T. Not only will you need to keep this secret from him but also from every future guy and your value to every man will become ZERO. Sharing this will leave you vulnerable. Maybe you tell one close female friend but it doesn't mean they won't tell others - especially if you fall out.

IT IS NOT THAT LUCRATIVE as you might think. It is a winner take all industry. I saw a yt on how much girls make on only fans and there were a dozen OF girls and 3 other girls were guessing their monthly income. One girl earn't several hundred thousand a month. The others earn't between a couple hundred dollars a month to 500.

Some girls simply know how to appeal to guys a lot more than ordinary girls. Are you really one of those elite girls? Have men eaten out of your hand in the past?

It sounds easy - you just have to wank them and you have given hand jobs before. But oddly strippers, handjobs and full sex costs about the same amount per minute. So eventually guys will figure I can get my cock in for what I am spending. You might be one of the girls who earns at the top or you might earn at the bottom.

The problem is you can't walk it back once you have done it once. You will always be a prostitute thereafter.

[MrOracle]

in my opinion, if you do this behind his back, he WILL find out, and you will probably lose your relationship with him - and may end up in an even worse financial situation. You REALLY need to discuss this with him and figure things out together - that's what a relationship IS. If you try to do something like this behind his back, you will almost certainly make things worse, rather than better, and may end up putting yourself in a situation where your ONLY option is to do things that you definitely don't want to do.

[Asker]

I think you have a really good option because i would never want to hurt him and ruin our relationship, and i tried to talk to him about it he told me he would think of something but we are already in a bad spot... And i just want to make a quick buck so im not so scared and stressed anymore but morally I don't know if i can do this. I want to help but i don't want to destroy us

[MrOracle]

Keep the dialog open with him. If he knows you are thinking of this, it might motivate him to find a better option, or to push for a better job or better salary or to change jobs, etc., so that you don't end up having to do those things.

[Asker]

Thank you for your input and responding without judgement. Im really scared and need some advice because at home its so stressful and I can't talk to anyone about this... I already told him I was so stressed out i was looking for a way to help us ( i told him about the massage parlor), he reassured me he was going to make it better and sell some crypto he has left... But he is still wants to pursue the trading business and I don't want to discourage him... But him always talking about money how he is depressed stressed (we don't have sex anymore he is always on is computer) is taking a toll on me

[MrOracle]

It's sounding like he's looking for a "get rich quick and easy" job, but those situations are incredibly rare and rely on exact timing. That's why he lost money on the crypto fad, and probably the NFT fad.

He needs to put those dreams aside and accept that he's going to need a REAL job and work for a living like everyone else. He has bills and responsibilities, and he cannot afford to gamble again the way he did before.

I would work 3 jobs before I would let my girl do sex work, but he seems to be expecting to be rich without having to work. That's just not reality, with only extremely rare exceptions.

[Asker]

Thanks you so much for your opinion and not judging me. I really appreciate your input and i won't be doing anything being my boyfriends back... We talked a lot. We will find a solution. I am sacred and stressed that's why i was in survival mood and ready to do anything so im not in the streets but you helped a lot thank you. You were the first comment i read and you made a lot of sense without throwing under the bus thank you

[MrOracle]

Glad I could help.

[BlackBeauty90]

So let me get this straight.

You are far more interested in being, and okay with being, a prostitute then asking your friends and family for help? If you're so embarrassed to ask them, how do you think friends and family are going to treat you if they find out? Probably like dirt.

Since you said elsewhere your boyfriend doesn't want you to unless no other means do you honestly think he'll be thankful for you doing this? He won't. He'll likewise view you quite negatively.

.

Instead of being sooo willing to be cheap get another job. Tell your boyfriend to get off his ass - his debt is not your debt. Look for online work, etc fundraisers, etc.

There's so many avenues to get money without becoming a cheap whore

[MzAsh]

Sounds like you both have growing up to do. I mean, are you even serious about this relationship? Why would you start hiding things from him. It’s a bad foundation. You both need to get your head out of the clouds and back to reality. Get normal jobs, 2 for each of you, if necessary. That way you won’t even have time to think about these fantasy land careers.

[BoopBoopBeep]

MHO right here.

[ProbablyClueless]

For real! I'm a little bit surprised that boyfriend quit his job NOW to trade crypto. It was never a particularly safe or good idea, but he chose to do this right at a time when people are still figuring out how much money they've lost on crypto trading.

[Avicenna]

Well, did he run up debts he cannot pay or would him getting a job or two jobs solve the financial problems?

[Constatine]

I hope do mind asking me..

because to be honest... boyfriend? not husband?

If boyfriend ruined you financially it is his mess. Why would you sell your body over him? Brake up and let him deal with his own shit. If you sell your body like that and money is rolling in... he will ruin you again.. because those people can not handle money and the never will

don't stay with him because you love him and he is a sweet guy. Staying with him in the end brings you also to the ground with huge debt. and loosing everything you have.. house, car and your job

When you are married it will be a different story , you also have to pay for his debt. that is the law.

I hope you choose the best for your own being.. and not his

[Constatine]

sorry if i sound bad.. i been there and ended up with more than 30.000 euros debt. I kicked her out of the house with the message to solve her own shit. She could not. In the end she was on the street , no roof above her head no job.
I'm not that kind of ass so i payed everything ( don't care about money ) , got her a house and a good job with an agrement she had to pay everything back. She did in less than 3 years..
That money i put a side and send it to a homeless shelter.

message of the day :
She wend down, she wend down hard... had to work hard to fix everything.

She told me she wend to an organisation that helps you with you spendings, money and so because she was no able to do it on her own. That organisation still helps her...

[Asker]

Hi thank you for your input! In my country if we live together long enough we are considered the same as married and we have a joint account. He is a really good person and he tried to make his dream work so i don't feel any resentment towards him... But I got scared because he is always telling me we can't spend any money all my paycheck and tips are paying the credit card and some. bills but i don't make enough to support us both and i feel we are in a tough spot financially... I was just thinking of a quick way to make money because he is at home on the computer stressed sad depressed and its starting to effect me emotionally... We don't have sex anymore we don't spend time together anymore and I can't go out to relax because i need to pay all the bills so im stuck home alone while he is on his computer trying to trade... And im tired I just want a quick out im tired of this

[Constatine]

I see... i didn't know they basically had a law for that.. and of course you have a joined account it is a bit different. { sorry a hole lot of different }

From what i read you two are going down already. But honestly selling your self for money is in my opinion not the best solution. I think the best thing to do is to support him emotionally , telling him that he is not alone in this.. and help him out where you can...

Perhaps if you explain to your boss... maybe he/she can help you out a bit.. maybe with some extra work hours maybe your boss have some options for you aswell

Take care..

[RealMarek]

I trade and crypto is so difficult I won’t touch it. Bad move. He needs to get a job or two. Sublet the apartment and get a pop-up trailer to live in if you can afford it until you can build positive cash flow again. If you have an RV/camper to live in you can travel to where jobs are. I know of ranches that are desperate for help, will pay $25/hr for unskilled labor, more when hands learn the ropes. The two of you can bounce back if you work as a team. I strongly recommend against sex work especially behind his back.

[DubiousIntentions]

Since it was him that screwed up it is up to him to make it right, not you. But I'm thinking you really want to do it, and not for the reason you state. A word to the wise. Not everyone on Only Fans make a ton of money. It's time for your boyfriend to go back to work and make money the old, hard way.

[kibbenkat]

Ask him for his input. Be open and transparent with your partner. I know it may seem nerve-wrecking, but just be honest. Tell him what you are considering and ask him for his input. Set boundaries and rules regarding the sex work. If he wants to, allow him to participate in some positive way.

[Asker]

I ask and he told me he would think of something before i need to go and do this, but i feel like we are already in a bad spot and he doesn't want to accept it. we already took loans with the bank and im just so stressed out... I really want to do it so i can pay some credit cards but I don't want to hurt him

[HippoDino]

Did he use your money as well, if he has that blatant disrespect for you that he would invest your money without your permission drop him immediately. As for your question if you will lose your apartment i think its fair, he fucked you two over and if you think that's how you can salvage it then go for it.

[Unit1]

His mistake was quitting his job and putting all his eggs into one basket. Why should you suffer to make it right when he screwed up? i get it, you're a team but still. This tells me more about your lack of dignity for considering selling your body in secret.

[DARKCLOUD1945X]

Keeping it a secret is not a good way to handle it frankly there is no real good to breach the subject. I my self think the best way to handle it to sit down and talk about how to get out of this situation and at some point ask him what he would think about you working in the sex industry to help get out of your problem on a temporary basis as a massage parlor worker.. Wishing you a lot of luck!

[Juicy_Girl]

listen im SW sex worker... he needs to snap out of it if you'll be selling your time or your body it needs to be for you and you only... hell see the money coming in and might get jealous or might get comfortable of sitting on his ass... your not a awful person but he is a grown man abd if he can't man up and crawl up out that whole and do what he needs to do then thats a problem it takes two not one

[DryGermanGuy]

How about Mr. Crypto genius eats some humble pie and asks for his old job back? Or at the very least applies to every similar job opening! I can't believe what I am reading here!!!

[Anemone978]

Why not just get another normal job.. get him up and looking for a new job.. you have plenty of options besides cheating on the guy and selling yourself lol

[Mariabea]

you would do it for him but you might lose him Can't he get a loan? I believe the best way is to be honest with him

[Asker]

We already took loans with the bank and he is still trying to make money on the web like creating websites and trading... But i feel like he doesn't want me to know how much money we lost. I don't have any family and i can't ask friends for money ( they all have their family to take care of) and I dont want to embarrass my boyfriend by asking for help (he is depressed and Im starting to stress because of him) because im pretty sure they will say no.

[elizamichale1]

honey anything u do must be discussed with ur partner... u both love each other n u both want to work things out so whatever ur plan is u should work it together

[Asker]

Thank you for not judging and for your opinion

[elizamichale1]

Oh what's there to judge honey... u r actually so adorable that u r trying to work things out for ur relationship... n what can be more beautiful than that huhh

[Asker]

Thank you so much for your kind words, i was really scared and hated the way i was thinking for a moment... I hated myself also. I won't be doing anything being his back bur i wanted you to know you help. me a lot and i won't forget your kindness

[elizamichale1]

awww u r such an angel... hugs n kisses honey
i really wish u soooo well darling

[DJB72]

And you're more embarrassed about asking friends for help than about being a prostitute?

Suck it up and ask your friends. If they're really your friends they'll help you.

[EmmaMary]

Forgetting about you for a moment, just WHAT is he doing in attempting to put things right?

[DextroShade]

So your solution is to be a whore? You won't be able to hide this from him, especially when he starts asking how you are paying for things. He likely won't (and shouldn't) forgive you either. If you want to help him get a real job.

[Agape93]

Do what you want. Just be safe about it, and don't tell him. Thatll just cause problems. But get tested a lot, don't give him something

[boggboss]

Yes if u keep it from him it makes u a shitty person funny how you are more open to cheating for pay then asking for help from friends

[Anonymous]

It's our Anonymous Fake Question of the Day!

[Staximus]

Don't do it. You tell that bum to get off his lazy ass and go get a goddamned job like a real man