My partner says that my parents didn't raise me with confidence?

Question

I thought that was a little too personal but I don't know. Should I be offended or what should I say back to him?

ohsheeT · Accepted Answer

You really don't need to say anything do you but you should do is think about it and if he's right then work on it

I'm sure he said it not to hurt you but to help you if it's true there's nothing wrong with learning new things about yourself if you can't see me yourself it's not a big deal you know who you are

I said this a million times when we were born we were all given the gifts and that gift is choice we get to choose who we want to be in life by the things that we say and do

Maybe he sees something that you Don't see

There's many times in this world where people might say something to us and we take it in a negative way

I never understood that

Like when a girl and a guy break up and the girl is just hurt she can't take it she's heartbroken. And 6 months down the road they realized that guy was a jerk anyway and she didn't want to be with him anyway so just because something negative was said or happens doesn't mean that it's a negative it depends on how you look at it and how you and what you think about yourself I like construction criticism I like when somebody says something about me because I get to look at it and say is this true or not true

If you notice when people get in an argument and somebody says something about somebody else and they're all upset about it they're usually upset about it because it's true but it's not true you just smile and let it run right down your back not a big deal

So if anything look at this as a moment of clarity for yourself you might not ask the questions to yourself enough but now you get that chance to ask yourself the question how confident are you how committed are you how beautiful is your heart who are you everybody should do that once in awhile

We've never stopped learning there's always room to grow and become a better person and remember what people say about you it doesn't really matter it's what you say about yourself accounts is how you perceive yourself and who you are

loveslongnails · Accepted Answer

If he's your partner, you should be able to speak openly and honestly about things with each other. His delivery may have sucked, but was he correct? Was it an insult, or a valid observation? DO YOU lack self-confidence and overall confidence?

Insults are said with disdain and are meant to be disrespectful. If a person "feels" insulted when the words weren't said that way, but were strictly observational and an opinion, that's very different. If that's the case, it's coming from within you.

Therefore, I can't really say you "should" feel this way or that. Your last update makes it sound like he was denigrating your upbringing and not trying to be helpful in his criticism or observation. If that's the case, even if the bottom line is true, he needs to work on his delivery and attitude.

FoxEyez · Accepted Answer

Oh my jesus. Are you seriously going to let your partner's words offend you THAT easily? It probably means that — you don't have confidence. So instead of getting OFFENDED maybe try to listen and fix it.

DizzyDesii · Accepted Answer

I feel the same way about my dude so 🤷‍♀️ All i can say is that we’re likely basing it off of the experiences you’ve shared with us and how your interactions with others are going

Fireguy17 · Answer

he is probably right.
We are all a product of our environment and that was probably lacking in your childhood.
Just a statement, nothing bad is meant by it, you simply lack confidence in either yourself or things you do and it shows.
We didn't talk much in our family so my communication skills are not all that great.
No one is perfect, so don't worry about it.

OfMiceandMen · Answer

As per your update, you should have said that comment hurt. If he gets pissy about it then make the comment about him not having a dad and it showing in his confidence. Sometimes people have to realize what they say has consequences.

BigDog1989 · Answer

Do you have a hard time sticking up for yourself, and doing things YOU want to do, etc.. DONT LET OTHERS CONTROL YOU, essentially

Staximus · Answer

He is honest and helping you face your weaknesses. You should accept that and do the same for him, unless you just want to be weak and not improve yourself

madhatters4 · Answer

i don't think partners should criticize parenting of their partner unless they know their partner is receptive to it.

exitseven · Answer

He is making an observation. Maybe ask why he thinks that. Have a discussion about it. Sometimes someone from the outside sees things that are not readily apparent

jahaims · Answer

Why would you be offended? You are sensitive af. He is right and this question proves it. You are offended because you have no confidence.

007kingifrit · Answer

well... do you think it is true? do you lack confidence? it may not be your parents doing that was a weird way to word it

scooogy · Answer

What should that change for him, I mean you weren't raised to be with him, right?

Anonymous · Answer

Yeah, that's very blunt and uncalled for. He must thinnk he's perfect.

WhitneySnow · Answer

Tell him what you said in the update

Emanon25 · Answer

He shouldn’t say that to you.

My partner says that my parents didn't raise me with confidence?

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