My husband has struggled with anxiety and a few traumatic events within the last several years. It’s taken a toll on him mentally and physically and he became overwhelmed and started to withdraw and does anything to avoid stress and responsibilities that add stress.
He keeps a low effort, but low paying job to avoid stress.
He avoid errands and responsibilities and asks me to help him out because it would take a lot off him mentally.
He’s come to me with honesty and authenticity about how he appreciates whenever I help him out and how it’s such a relief off of his mind.
Now, I’m happy to help out sometimes but this had begun going on for years. And I’m wondering when it’s ever going to stop.
He knows he had extreme anxiety but refuses to be on medication.
So far his only solution is to withdraw from stressors and ask me for help. But now I feel like he’s my child.
I am paying most things: his portion of the rent, the electricity, the majority of groceries, whenever we go out to eat. I’ve been paying his eye and dental bills, and etc.
I make ALL of his appointments because his anxiety is so bad about using the phone that he throws up every time.
I do 90% if the cleaning. And most of the cooking.
When he needed his glasses fixed, I had to do everything to do take care of that. When his laptop broke, I was the one to take it to get it fixed.
When out cat was sick, I was the one taking him to the vet and paying for each visit.
He apologizes to me and says that he promises things will eventually get back to normal and he’ll do things for himself again but he doesn’t know when.
I was up until 1am cleaning the house last night because it needed it, and he wakes me up to ask me to run an errand for him this morning before I go to work. And I just had a knee jerk reaction to push back and let him know that him dumping his responsibilities on to me was getting to be too much.
There’s a difference between helping and enabling.
He keeps a low effort, but low paying job to avoid stress.
He avoid errands and responsibilities and asks me to help him out because it would take a lot off him mentally.
He’s come to me with honesty and authenticity about how he appreciates whenever I help him out and how it’s such a relief off of his mind.
Now, I’m happy to help out sometimes but this had begun going on for years. And I’m wondering when it’s ever going to stop.
He knows he had extreme anxiety but refuses to be on medication.
So far his only solution is to withdraw from stressors and ask me for help. But now I feel like he’s my child.
I am paying most things: his portion of the rent, the electricity, the majority of groceries, whenever we go out to eat. I’ve been paying his eye and dental bills, and etc.
I make ALL of his appointments because his anxiety is so bad about using the phone that he throws up every time.
I do 90% if the cleaning. And most of the cooking.
When he needed his glasses fixed, I had to do everything to do take care of that. When his laptop broke, I was the one to take it to get it fixed.
When out cat was sick, I was the one taking him to the vet and paying for each visit.
He apologizes to me and says that he promises things will eventually get back to normal and he’ll do things for himself again but he doesn’t know when.
I was up until 1am cleaning the house last night because it needed it, and he wakes me up to ask me to run an errand for him this morning before I go to work. And I just had a knee jerk reaction to push back and let him know that him dumping his responsibilities on to me was getting to be too much.
There’s a difference between helping and enabling.
