Girls, should I send my ex a letter? how would you react if your ex sent you a letter (email)?

[Anonymous]

Girls, should I send my ex a letter? how would you react if your ex sent you a letter (email)? We were together for about 2 years, albeit long distance so we only saw each other in person maybe 6-7 times while dating (but had known each other since childhood). She ghosted me, so I can only speculate about what happened. But I think it may have been due to a text I accidentally sent her that could have been misinterpreted as being for another woman (but it wasn’t, it was just for my male friend and I accidentally sent it to her). I found out she started dating someone new about a week after that text, but they broke up after a year or so and I think she is single now. I want to clear things up and tell her how much she means to me.

[HollyK21]

I highly doubt she’s so irrational that this one accidental text to a friend would make her end an almost two year relationship unless you were crazily disrespectful, caught cheating, or something equally unforgivable which I doubt happened.
I believe the distance is what did it. You have to remember that this arrangement is not made for everyone, and even if it were manageable for a while, at some point reality will start setting in for one of you or both. Eventually someone will be overwhelmed and depressed by how much they want to be closer, do in person dates, have a real relationship and not be so limited to phone calls and video chats.
There has to be a silver lining, something concrete to look forward to.
So if the question is whether or not to reach out, on a personal level I would say not to because she hasn’t opened the doors of communication in all this time and has actually tried moving on from you in the form of a new relationship.
On top of that, what would be different?
Meaning a lot to someone has no value in this case without a plan. Will one of you move closer in the near future and not some hope for one day? How would you solve the issues? I know there were some because no relationship is perfect. Basically be ready to bring something feasible to the table and prepare yourself for whatever her response would be, as it may be flat out rejection written kindly as not to hurt you.

[Asker]

thank you for your insight! the only thing is that this took place about 4 months before I was about to move back to the same city as her after finishing college. I agree that my text theory seems a bit irrational, but I can’t think of any other reason, and everything was going really well before that text.
It was a late night text that I had meant to send to my friend who was waiting to be let into the building. I said that I would be down in a moment, and then after realizing I sent it to her, sent a quick text saying that I meant to send that to someone else

[HollyK21]

I don’t think that text was breakup worthy, especially after you clarified and your innocence could’ve easily been proven with the texts between you and him if she really needed that assurance. This breakup had to be something she wanted to do in general, because even with you mentioning actually moving closer she chose to do this. In which case I’d really advise against sending a letter. You didn’t do anything wrong, don’t criminalize yourself.

[Asker]

thanks! Although I never did clarify that "someone else" was my friend

[curiouscutiex3]

My ex sent me a letter after about a year after breaking up. It was a very sweet gesture, and I ended up reaching out to him.

[Asker]

what sort of things did he say?

[curiouscutiex3]

Basically it was an apology letter, he expressed a lot of the pain and loss he was feeling over the course of the year. He detailed why he left things the way he did. Expressed how much he missed me, and how life wasn’t the same without me.

[Anonymous]

Sending a letter or email to your ex can be a way to express your feelings and clear things up, but it's important to approach it with care. If you decide to do so:

1. Be respectful and considerate in your message.
2. Apologize for any misunderstandings or hurt caused.
3. Express your genuine feelings and intentions.

However, be prepared for any possible response, including no response at all. Everyone's reaction to receiving such a message can vary, and it's important to respect her decision and boundaries.

Ultimately, the decision to reach out should be based on your own feelings and a sincere desire to communicate, rather than with the expectation of a specific outcome.

[mobiusforniner]

don’t do an email You want to leave an impression, hand write it. A hand written letter is more than just sending a text, an email, or even just calling. It requires the writer (you) clearly articulate your thoughts and feelings and putting them onto paper. It’s literally a window into your heart. And for the reader (her) to physically hold such emotions, to feel the crumply paper in her fingers, and hear the words in your voice…. from my experience, is quite overwhelming for any woman.

And in todays society, a lost art.

[Avicenna]

No, she is with another guy now, so your email will not be welcomed. Just don't do it.

[Asker]

they broke up

[Nikki1989]

Sure, why not?

[Iron_Man]

Sure send it