Is past self harm a deal breaker?

[Anonymous]

I will be honest I've made a fair few mistakes and had some poor points with my mental health. Which led me down cutting myself. I do regret it, but not since I'm slowly getting better. Haven't done it in over a year now. I'm starting to have several questions about it and if perhaps it would be an issue in finding a realtionship. And so I was sorrt of hoping to get some advice and maybe some answers to the following questions.

Is past self harm a deal breaker?
When would you want a partner to say anything regarding this to you?
How early in a relationship should it be brought up?

[Anonymous]

It isn’t a deal breaker, especially if you’re doing better now and managing those feelings in a healthy way. Some of the kindest, most empathetic, and strongest people I know have hurt themselves in the past. It took the one doing something incredibly stupid to change the whole trajectory of her life for the better. It is just recognizing what caused you to act that way and to learn from it.

[Simslover92]

No past self harm is not a deal breaker for me. It's best to discuss it as the relationship grows deeper and it naturally kind of presents itself. When you're having a deep convo on that level where you feel comfortable enough with her to bring it up. I've done things in the past that would be considered self harm so I understand completely. I lucked up and got a boyfriend who is understanding and it was easy to tell him about my past trauma.

[IslaTheWitch]

It's not.

If someone asks, just be prepared to answer honestly.

We all use different ways of coping with hard experiences. Not all scars are visible...

[petitedollbabee]

Not at all. Present self harm is though. I’ve had a past with self harm and that’s far behind me now, I’ve found healthier ways to cope. I couldn’t date someone now who’s still self destructive.

[HaleyCatgirl]

Honestly yes it is cuz I don't want them to relapse when I'm with them I immediately block anyone who starts acting a bit crazy

[Nikki1989]

No, somebody's past is none of my business.