When talking to your kid about relationships would you express negative or positive opinion on casual sex or non monogamous relationships?

[marish01]

Positive opinion

Negative opinion

[ObscuredBeyond]

I'd tell them it's a trap. And if interested in anyone, observe how they treat coworkers, family, me, etc. Observe how they keep their cool if called out. Or if they don't.

And always check yourself. Be mindful who their friends are, and how eager to share they are.

If any of these seem off, you may wish to look elsewhere. Observe faith habits too. This will affect you and your future children.

And this advice applies with or without sex in a relationship. However, pre-marriage, sex can be a hijacker. Once it becomes about sex, it tends to become ONLY about sex, and that's a recipe for disaster.

Casual sex is a setup for nothing good, in exchange for a temporary thrill that will never fully satisfy.

Non-monogamy leads invariably to comparison and competition. Some keep it civil better than others, but that doesn't make it okay.

The minute you go from a covenant of you, one other, and God; to a mere arrangement of you and any number of others apart from God, especially if only for the purpose of scratching that itch, you open the floodgates.

But even if you think you've secured something monogamous, keep your head on a swivel. Treachery and fraud are everywhere today. Self worship leads to lack of shame, and many liars of today are entirely without shame.

[IceCreamSandwich]

Morally? I dont feel strongly about either one. If they're just a kid and not old enough to practice this kind of thing, I don't see a reason to be negative about any kind of healthy relationships.

If they are old enough and this is "the talk," I would strongly warn about the bigger safety concerns for casual sex, and if they showed interest in anything polygamous I would have my friend who's been in those kinds of relationships talk with them about the potential red flags to watch for that are different than monogamous relationships.

Maybe that is looking at the negatives, but when you're "in love" it's easy to ignore the risks, so I feel like it would be my job as their parent to make sure they don't rush into anything that could be dangerous just because it could also be good.

[Anonymous]

Well you can’t 100% control and police what your son or daughter does anyway.

You have to give them certain advice. Tell them your own experience. Your daughter or son could have a certain sex drive that is out of your control.

If she has PCOS like me. Which is a medical condition. The sex drive is high.

Just give them advice. The talk. Educate on all STDS and what they can do to a boy or girl. Make them watch a woman give birth video. To scare them a little. Talk to them about child custody and child support and the legal troubles of pregnancy and childbirth.

Don’t leave out any details.
This is how my parents did it. As soon as my sis and I began our menstrual, they told us everything. No details left out. And we started at 10 and 9.

And thanks to my parents I was a late bloomer, not my sis tho😆, but she was a rebel. But she did wait to be married to have a baby. YOU HAVE TO TELL THEM.

Same with DR—GS. I never smoked anything because my parents taught me well. They taught me very well. Anything that is alcohol or smoking , can become addictive. Food and Pornography alone can be extremely addictive on their own.

[marish01]

Do you think high sex drive leads to having many sex partners or could too much madturbation not solve that issue?
Why to have sex with many random people if sexual release can be achieved without being promiscuous?

[Opinion Owner]

Many sex partners and masturbating is the same thing though. Is it not?

[marish01]

So if a virgin masturbates she is not a virgin? Lol

[Opinion Owner]

No lol. I lost my hymen to a glass dildo

[marish01]

Ok but that is not a sex partner.
When asking how many people you've slept with, you won't consider breathless objects.

[marish01]

Did it hurt?

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah maybe because I went too deep. I just know it felt like it went too deep. Like stabbing.

[marish01]

But still it is not sex partner. No matter how high her sex drive is she won't explode from not getting a dick

[Opinion Owner]

She will become depressed though. From no partner. You can definitely become depressed.
Everyone wants action, specially if you’re healthy and ovulating

[marish01]

Even uf those partner think of her as nothing but a hole for fucking?

[wolfcat87]

I'm very much against casual sex and open relationships for myself and for my kids. The risk of catching an STD has sky rocketed in recent years, and it's just not worth it.

There should have been an "other" option though, because as someone who is poly with multiple monogamous partners, the risk is far lower. So, I support closed, poly relationships. I think they are as good as monogamous relationships and sometimes better.

[AviatorTom]

TBH, I wouldn't bring that topic up unless they did. Then, I would be slightly negative, but not overly negative. You know kids... the more you tell them not to do something, the more they do it. 🙉🙊🙈

[nastyb]

thats how you get your daughter 16 and pregnant. Telling her its ok to get into non monogamous relationships. you shouldn't even be dating at 16, you should be studying for your SAT, decent grades.

[marish01]

I agree. People who claim telling not to sleep around results in promiscuity are wrong.
Positivity for promiscuity is more likely to lead to promiscuity than negativity for promiscuity.

[nastyb]

Im gonma tell u right now. If your daughter is fucking around in high school, there is no way in hell she is getting good grades in school

[marish01]

Not just that, she must have many real flaws if she sleels around

[nastyb]

@marish01

Most people sleep around nowadays

[nastyb]

@marish01

But sleeping around should be for adults, not teens

[marish01]

It's still nasty for adults.

[nastyb]

@marish01

thats just your opinion. Not everyone elses

[marish01]

Sure. I did express my opinion.

[SotiCoto]

If you're gonna have sex, remember to use condoms, even if they're uncomfortable.
If you're gonna set things on fire, remember to stand well clear and keep a bucket of water handy.
And if you're gonna murder someone, make sure to wear gloves and a hat, ensure there are no witnesses and NEVER return to the scene of the crime.

[XXTruthfulOgrexx]

Indifference. why? They need to make up their own mind if it fits in their lifestyles or not. It isn't for me to instill a positive or negative influence on that decision but it IS for me to make sure they have all the information, pros and cons to make an informed and educated decision for themselves.

[Anemone978]

Don't want my kids being sluts so of course but I am pretty sure I am safe because they are muslim lol

[Guido]

The reality is that due to genetics, there is a strong probability that your child will be just like you so if you were very promiscuous then your child is prone to be as well. Have the conversation accordingly to ensure whatever they will be like, they will have safe sex.

[marish01]

Genetics or upbringing?
Promiscuous gene doesn't exist

[Guido]

While there my not be a specific gene, it's actually a thing.
Prime example is my wife. She was adopted at birth and grew up with very conservative parents. She was the opposite and quite promiscuous. Much later in life, she found her birth mother and also several half siblings. Her birth mother was very promiscuous and so were all her half sisters. Totally different upbringing but same thoughts and actions regarding sex.

We have talked to many other women and have found this to be quite common.

So here is the test for you, are you like your mother when it comes to sex?

[marish01]

I know some women who had only one husnand but their mothers slept with lots of men.
As for me I'm a virgin. My mom was a virgin till marriage. She never dated any other man. Not even my dad lol.
My dad is the only man she had

[Guido]

You are like your mom. Not all but most women are like their mothers that way. There will be the occasional exception but I believe the vast majority are similar.

[marish01]

It's upbringing not genes.
One more reason why a woman's body count/past matters.

[wolfcat87]

I believe it's genetic a bit. Like most of the people in my family are very monogamous and not big on sex, but my dad was notorious for sleeping around. I have a higher sex drive and am poly. My brother with the same mom but a different dad cheats a lot. So, I'm not sure where it comes from with him unless my mom has a gene and just ignores it or it's recessive like tall genes. My kids are not very pro sex because I raised them right, but they have high sex drives.

[marish01]

@wolfcat87 or upbringing.
High sex drive doesn't mean desire for many people but desire for sexual release.

[wolfcat87]

Absolutely, upbringing and experiences can alter it. True on both accounts.

[IslaTheWitch]

I rather try to talk about possible outcomes and consequences. My children are able to make their own judgments and choose their ways in life.

[marish01]

Would you tell them the bad consequences of safe sex?

[IslaTheWitch]

I would speak about any possible consequences without rating them. From my perspective, parents are for showing things and letting children make up their minds about different topics. If my kids ask me about my opinion, then I share it.

[marish01]

What about drugs?

[IslaTheWitch]

The same

[Jennz6]

If I had a child, I’d be negative about casual relationships and sex. I don’t think I would want my child to be like me 💯💃

[marish01]

Wow. Never thought a woman like you would say that.

[Jennz6]

I know that I have been too wild and promiscuous

[Christsdisciple15]

Negative, but not coming from an angle of shame but because of my beliefs

[Nikki1989]

I would let them make their own decisions. No one ever told me what to do, and I wouldn't force any BS onto my kids either.

[marish01]

If they ask what you think of casual sex what would you say?

[Miristheiss]

Negative, I flat out tell them it is WRONG.

[Iron_Man]

I will tell him to have sex after you’re married

[Guanfei]

Negative, I'd want my kid to know the meaning of commitment and responsibilities.

[RavVid]

I am quite certain a boy will be listening to his hormones more intently than his parents.

With a girl I think the negatives should be made apparent to her.

[ChicoFromThe305]

Negative, I'll surely spread the importance of intercourse and the proper way on what it's for.

[Anonymous]

My kid? A child isn't getting this talk. But as for a teenager, I'd probably tell them to use protection and explore their desires shamelessly

[marish01]

Do you have a high body count?
Are you shameless to ve honest?

[Opinion Owner]

-Virgin
-Dated one guy, 9 months
-The furthest we've gone is sending nudes
-It's been all shameless sexual exploration. No judgement, just learning to respect each other's boundaries in a consenting manner

[marish01]

But you would want your teen kid to sleep around?

[Opinion Owner]

Sure if they want to. Like i said, with protection. No negative things can come from exploring your sexuality. I just haven't done it because I don't want to

[marish01]

If you have a positive opinion on promiscuity then why are you not promiscuous (though I don't believe you)

[wolfcat87]

Lots of children have had sexual experiences, so it is important to talk to them about sex early and in age appropriate language so they know well before they start... I spoke to my children about sex early, and neither has any interest in having actual sex as a teen. No playing doctor, no being molested, nothing, because they knew from the start what was okay and what wasn't. More importantly, they've always known why.

[syncheart]

Sex outside of marriage is more dangerous then sex inside of marriage. I know there are some exceptions. But still.

[JacobJordan]

there are no positives to casual sex or non monogamy. In fact there are only negatives

[getwiththepg]

Tell them to be smart about it. It’s bound to happen, esp with movies like American Pie

[Anonymous]

I think it would be premature to bring up that level of sexuality at that age. I think the basics are enough without getting into the advanced stuff. 😂

[Trevelyan88]

Negative for a daughter and neither negative nor positive for a son.

[AndreaH]

Negative. It's disgusting

[marish01]

Absolutely

[exitseven]

Negative. Nothing good will come of it

[Sasha0426]

Don’t be such a downer

[Sasha0426]

Oh, you meant casual

[krin_m]

As long as there are consenting adults involved.

[Grond21]

Negative. They need to know how awful they are

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Negative. That lifestyle is empty.

[NathanDavis]

an smart opinion and approach...

[Altheavas]

So far,
I’ve done both so far.

[Anonymous]

Do as I say, not as I did.