Im starting to question my 4 year relationship with my boyfriend?

[Anonymous]

I am 24 and he is 22.

I love my boyfriend but sometimes I’m not sure if this relationship is something that is going to last for me.
there are some issues for me, his relationship with his family isn’t the greatest and i am starting to realize that it is because of the way he acts, but it’s because he isn’t always the nicest or makes the best decision.

I find when something goes wrong in this life he is always going to be rude towards me or even towards his mom (cursing her out and stuff) i’ve told him i don’t like the way he speaks to me and he doesn’t care that he’s mad or that im over reacting.

We have talked about have kids but I’m starting to rethink that. Financially i don’t think he is a good fit, he gets paid $600 a week and spends pretty much all of it by Sunday, we do groceries and i always pay for most (i make more) I want a man who is financially able to have a family and rely on me, i want a man who will take me out on dates (id like to do things for my birthday, anniversary or holidays which we haven’t done in 3 years.

I do the majority of cleaning he had one cleaning job which i have to ask him to do in order for it to be done

He isn’t affectionate either and i crave that affection so much which he knows but he says if i want it i need to initiate or make the first move and i have but he rejects me so i stopped trying, we have had sex in 4 months. Im tired of that snd i have told him many times i want to at least do it once a week and he just says he is too tired.
Im not an ugly girl either, i know if we broke up i would have other options but i hate to just end things and not even get more effort into fixing the issues.

Im starting to feel like he is immature for me and as our relationship grew i also grew and became a different person than i was when i met him, i think i would prefer someone older and i will admit i have had wondering eyes
Im going to give myself time on whether i want to end things or not but i needed to get this off my chest.

[Finchie40]

It sounds like you should dump him and move on , if you can’t accept the way he is , because he will never be good enough for you , and all you will end up doing , if you stay with him , is resenting him more and more and pointing out all his flaws that you can’t see eye to eye with him Hoping he will change but sadly you can’t change anyone So instead of making his life a living hell , do him a favor and end it with him and move on. Let him find a girl that will stand by his side no matter what through all the ups and downs life throws at us and you go live your selfish life finding a guy that makes more money cuz sadly that’s mainly what you girls’ are after in the first place

[Lliam]

I don't know why you are trying to make the relationship work. Do you expect him to change? Do you think you can fix him?

Was he your first boyfriend?

Having a boyfriend doesn't mean that you are obligated to stay with them. You get into a relationship in order to discover their true nature and decide if you would want to spend the rest of your life with them. If you can't envision that, it's best to walk away and not waste any more of your life. Move on and find someone who is better suited.

You're young. You need to experience more life before you settle down. Don't get shackled to the first guy you ever met.

[HollyK21]

You guys were pretty much kids when you got together, so it makes sense for your preferences to be different now. You’re only going to mature more and probably outgrow him because he still sounds very immature. Not to mention unpleasant, mean, I wouldn’t want to marry someone like that. Especially having kids, what sort of parent and influence would he be? Would he treat your kids cruelly as well and expect you to abide or be silenced (not physically but verbally)? I don’t think it’s worth it.

[spartan55]

So you are going to wait around, waste time, and hope he changes? Spoiler alert: this is who he is, it's NOT going to change. No sex in four months? Fuck that, I'd leave for that by itself.

[Red_Arrow]

From what you have said he has been the same the whole time. So I have no idea why you got with him in the first place. And I certainly do not see why you have remained with him all this time. You should have learned by not that he is not going to get better.

[BoopBoopBeep]

There's a dozen good reasons to walk away. Not the least of which being financial. I see no good reason to stay.

[Drumlin2001]

Based on what you've said it feels like there's nothing there. Leave

[mrpoopybutthole]

If you feel this way I would suggest you to not spend your time with him anymore. It seems like he doesn't correspond what you look for in a man. What I got from his acts is that he seems immature. So better not waste time anymore.

[ImalwaysrightOK]

No effort from him = leave now. You said yourself all the bad things that he doesn't even care about your feelings. Nothing to work on.

[abc3643]

My ve on. He needs to grow up and get his shit together.

[ThrillSeeker01]

It really doesn't seem like things are working out. You might want to move on 😞

[slatyb]

End this. You've outgrown him and his family.

[RavVid]

There does seem to be significant issues.

[jimmy2]

I hear you planning and you are right

[Anonymous]

I assume he was the one who asked you out