How do you move on when there is a child involved?

Question

We had issues before but always ended up back together. We started talking not to long ago and he mentioned how he missed that old times. I was straight forward with him and told him if he was ready to invest and work on our relationship to let me know. He ignored my questioned and went straight to tell me he was going to pick up the baby. I assume since he didn’t answer that was a no. It just breaks my heart how he can move on so easily.

Wood3nWhal3 · Accepted Answer

You guys just accept that it's over and proceed to being great parents to your child. Don't have to be best friends but you both created something awesome together in a chapter in your life no longer part of the present but that's why you focus on the present for your child. I have yet to see my little girl since she was 1.5 and I made the difficult decision to break it off with my BM.
I contemplated suicide for so long I didn't realize it until I became the reason the closest corner store ran out on of hard Seltzers and Coors banquet. She's now about five, but the look on my BM face when she finds out in court that I'm making 90k/yr and hired a badass lawyer who only has two things on their mind: fighting for my paternal rights and fckng sht ⬆️

DJB72 · Accepted Answer

Under no circumstances use the baby as a way to either be with him - it won't work - or punish him - like so many women do and are then surprised when the child gets older that it finds out and hates them.

Why did you break up? If he left you, ask yourself why. If you left him, same question. Why?

You can't change his behaviour. Only yours. If he's still wanting to be there for the baby then don't force him to go through the courts to get one weekend a month. Give equal custody and don't make any conditions except no violence and drugs. Common sense stuff.

Do make sure the baby knows he wants to be with them - even if you don't want to be with him.

KittygosMeoWW · Accepted Answer

You strictly focus on the child! We co parent but have strict boundaries or at least I do because he will always want to waste my time and keep fucking. I’m not his side I’m not his friend I’m the mother to his child and deserve more respect than that. If I wanted a fuck buddy I can find that on my own.

RoseySarah · Accepted Answer

Depends whose baby it is!

Also kids don't remember well but the last interaction so leave in good terms and the kid will be okay.

It's not your responsibility even though the guy makes you feel like it is!

Kids make friends and lose them fast till like 5th grade.

midnightmoon05 · Answer

Depends if he was in love with you.  in this case… doesn’t seem like he was. Why did you have a kid with a guy who didn’t put a ring on you?

Peter_Penetrator · Answer

There are a few ex’s that can put their hurt feelings aside for the sake of children. Some ex husbands still welcome their ex-stepchildren into their lives even though they are not flesh and blood.

Lyndsielee666 · Answer

It takes time and that’s about it. My kids dad passed a month ago and I regret not coparenting better.

DextroShade · Answer

You need to make it work for your child's sake unless he is physically abusive or an addict or something on that level. Children raised by single mothers have worse outcomes in every way they can measure.

sheikalana · Answer

Do the same. Move on. Talk to him only when it's related to the child you have in common.

Anonymous · Answer

Give away the kid, start new. You can always make more

RealMarek · Answer

Time. Time makes it easier to move on.

Teabaggin · Answer

That's hard

How do you move on when there is a child involved?

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