PLEASE READ ALL OF IT What to do when family sticks their nose into a relationship?

[SimplyPut]

Recently I had a friend asked me for advice and I have no idea what to tell the guy. He found himself hanging out with someone he has had a thing for for quite a while but she has always been unavailable. Four or five months ago she was around and was available and they started to see each other. Problem is iits my friends dad's girlfriend's granddaughter. So his family is fairly supportive except for the dad because he's caught in the middle but her mom her grandma and her ex have conspired and tried to sabotage this thing from the beginning and they hid it for a while but it came out finally. And when it did it was a nightmare and has been for the two but they still try. They're going other way too make sure something doesn't happen that they both need to both have some help they both need. They literally made calls to keep this help from happening to keep them apart. I really want to get my friend good advice here but I am totally at a loss at what to tell him so is there any advice or stories that you don't think might apply but they could be pertinent?

[Oliverlogan263]

Wow man, that’s a crazy messed up situation your friend’s gotten himself into. Family drama like that can really screw things up. I feel for both of them, trying to make it work when everyone else is against it. Here’s what I would say to your friend:

First off, he’s gotta be super careful not to damage his relationship with his dad over this. Family always comes first in the end. Maybe talk to his dad one-on-one and try to get on the same page, just the two of them.

As for the ex and grandma stirring shit up, he just needs to not engage with them at all. Don’t reply to messages, don’t argue back. Let them talk but don’t get dragged down to their level.

He should focus on building something real with this girl when they’re alone together. Prove to her that their feelings matter more than all the outside noise. And be honest about how hard it is but that she's worth it to him.

If they’re really serious long term, they might have to consider keeping it private from the family drama queens for now. Sneak around but in a good fun way ha.

Either way man, tell your boy not to let others control his happiness. Show them all why he cares about this girl. If it’s real, they have a chance. But family has to stay good too. Tough spot for sure!

[IronPhoenix]

I am of the belief that the person in the relationship with the uppity family in this case the girl needs to go tell her family to KNOCK IT OFF!

I would never allow my family to interfere with my personal life. I am a grown ass adult. And they would be told immediately to put a sock in it.

At the same time if a woman I was seeing had family that was acting like this I would expect her to go check her family.

[SimplyPut]

It's not that easy unfortunately. The ex has a power over her that he uses for manipulation and plain cruelty. It's been two years since this final split but anytime he even suspects she's talking to someone he gets jealous. Im not going to get into the subject deeper than that on his power he holds and exactly how it came to be that Way (too personal and not my place ). Anyway from what I can tell she has stuck up for him. Now when it did start coming to the light the were seeing each other she tried and it cost her relationships and support. Plus it made it so much worse for both. It's gotten so bad for the two they tried faking a break up. Tried complete silence from everything. It's like daily these people have a conference call to plot.

[IronPhoenix]

If this Ex boyfriend is acting like this I have two words for you.
"Restraining Order."