Boyfriend ghosted me after argument (please read below for details)? What should I do?

[Anonymous]

I’ve been dating this guy for 7 months. In the past month he got laid off (which was very detrimental to him) and also lost his cousin who he was close to, from Covid. Because of these two things, he’s been very cold and distant - not only to me but also to his close friends/family. Won’t respond to texts or calls. I’ve been very understanding and told him that all I ask is that he lets me know if he needs space or if I can help in any way, and I’d be happy to. But instead, he just ignores everyone. The last time I spoke with him was a little over a week ago. He had invited me to a friends bbq and everything was fine until we started arguing about little things and he said a few hurtful things out of anger. I told him that although I know he’s going through a lot, saying hurtful things to me is not acceptable and I won’t tolerate it. He said “I love you. I’m sorry and we’ve just had a rough month but I still want to be with you” After that night he’s messaged a few times, but it’s been cold and distant. Then the last message I’ve received from him is “I’ve been so upset all day and sick to my stomach about our last argument. I don't know how we can ever move past this” and then just silence. I’ve tried to message and call without a response. I know he is ok bc he’s been active on fb and Snapchat. I even messaged his mother (I have a relationship with most of his family members) and she said she’s sorry and she hasn’t been able to get ahold of him either. I don't know if this means we’re over or what I should do? Please help

Just let him go and move on

Wait to see if he just needs time/space

Reach out another time to try to get response/explanation

[ChocoBrownieMonster]

Yeah he just needs space to recover from that, i tend to switch off from everyone and try to find peace within myself (it can take a month or two). When someone loses their job, it's not that simple. It usually involves victimisation, bullying harassment, false accusations and leads to sickness etc. To lose a cousin too, ouch.
The one you love most ends up on the receiving end of abuse, so it's best to give him a lot of space, youve said you're there if he needs you. Dont do more, i mean he's upset he got mad at you aswell now. Not your fault. It's nice that you care.
The opposite end of the spectrum is a girl who ditches a guy who is having issues, like wow if you can't be with someone in their bad moments why be with them in their good.

[asshole_]

I didn't lose my job due to covid

But, I did lose my grandpa this year. He's been in bad health for a while now. We don't think it was covid

[Anonymous]

I can relate to him somehow. Taking out stress and negative emotions on others, only to instantly regret it and be worried about the state of a relationship afterwards. That's something I've experienced a couple of times, and it feels hopeless after saying hurtful things because I feel so guilty. Then I feel hopeless because I am worried I ruined all the good parts of the relationship.
I would say you should tell him that you forgive him, you still want to be with him, and you just want to move on from past hurts. If that is true for you. If he is anything like me, he probably feels so guilty that he is isolating himself.

[jennifer_bloom]

I think his method of coping is to detach himself from people so he can grieve - you might miss his time but the best thing for him is that you put aside your discontent and give him the freedom he needs to grieve and release his tension - if you don’t do this - the relationship will fracture and might end

[MagicalHero212]

Yea jdj