How and when should one compromise within a relationship?

[alonso]

I believe that one should compromise when the issue is important to their partner. What are your thougths?

[guitar]

Here's a more relatable take on how and when to strike that balance:

Really Get Where They're Coming From: Before diving into compromise mode, make sure you really listen to what your partner is saying. Like, actually listen without just waiting for your turn to speak.

Pick Your Battles: Not every little disagreement needs a full-blown peace treaty. Sometimes it's cool to just agree to disagree, especially on the small stuff.

Look for the Win-Win: There's often some middle ground where both of you can get a slice of what you want. Hunt for that sweet spot.

Give a Little, Get a Little: Compromise is all about balance. It shouldn't feel like one of you is always the one bending. Make sure it's a two-way street.

Keep it Respectful: Even when you're trying to reach a middle ground, remember to keep things respectful. No dragging up old fights or keeping score.

Talk it Out, For Real: Be honest about what you need and why it matters to you. And be just as open to hearing your partner out. Good old communication goes a long way.

Know Your No-Go Zones: It's cool to flex on the small stuff, but stick to your guns when it comes to the big things that really define who you are.

Don't Lose Yourself: Compromising is key, but not at the cost of losing who you are or what you stand for.

Timing is Everything: Trying to compromise when you're both seeing red? Probably not the best idea. Take a breather and revisit the convo when you're both more chill.

Look for the Mutual Win: The best compromises leave both of you feeling like you've won something.

When you both feel heard and valued, that's the real goal of a good compromise.

[Minxxie]

I think both people should come at it from a space of generosity and care for their partner, and to try and approach it CALMLY.

I've discovered that my calm demeanour is a very powerful tool when it comes to my boyfriend because he hasn't had that before in a partner, and he really appreciates it. For him, his most powerful tool for dealing with me is his nurturing side, he can be soooo warm and caring and it makes me feel so safe and loved, it's beautiful. He wasn't nurtured much by his dad so I think he gives what he wanted from his dad to me and it's really healing for us both, I can't get enough!

My boyfriend and I were struggling with letting pride, fear, and ego get in the way but last night we had a very gentle conversation about how truly what we both want at our core is to love each other and feel loved. It's so easy for the stress of life to get in the way of your connection but it doesn't have to turn into something that will destroy the relationship.

He's been very avoidant which made me anxious but once I approached him calmly and more with curiosity rather than blame and anger he was able to get vulnerable with me and we sorted out our big scary issue in a 30 minute phone call! It doesn't have to be hard if both people can set aside their egos and look at things logically.

I'm really glad because he said he was conflating me wanting to have a hard conversation with they way it always went with his ex who was very chaotic and blew up at him. He's realized that I am very calm and logical and I just want to solve issues while they are still small... but if he avoids it obviously I get anxious and it's really really painful for me to be ignored!

We have a plan to make our relationship better than ever because we realized our love and our connection are too rare and precious and passionate to lose. He told me that he actually really appreciated the way I came to him calmly with my feelings and told him what I need from him and he wants me to feel free to come to him with my concerns whenever I need to from now on, because he truly does just want to make me happy.

We both feel way better now so I'm glad I had the courage to do that! (and I'm glad I didn't start sobbing! haha) He knows that I am willing to compromise to make him feel good and he is willing to make compromises for me too. I was considering breaking up with him last week because I felt so lonely and heartbroken but now I am super excited for the next phase of our relationship! Literally all we needed was to talk openly and forgive each other for rash decisions we made while upset and stressed. And now we know we can communicate effectively and it wasn't even that hard!

[Screenwriter]

Compromise is the name of the game from the git-go. You are two completely different people: raised differently, different thoughts, ideas. What the two of you should have in common is like values and a similar life plan.

Everything else is NEGOTIABLE!!! So negotiate.

Who washes the clothes, who cooks, who takes the kids to school, who mows the lawn, takes the car in, fills it up, dusts and mops the floors. And HOPEFULLY, you discuss these issues BEFORE you hook up longterm. Fewer arguments.

But the fact of the matter is, as your life together changes, you have to RE-negotiate, re-compromise. Change is the one constant.

You'll be happy campers if you honor this, and you honor each other by respecting your differences and coming together with a viable life plan..

[Flatmanlewis]

It depends on the issue. I think compromise is one thing - to me that’s meeting in the middle for something both find agreeable. This is part of any healthy relationship. She wants to stay home. I want to eat out so we don’t have dishes. She wants to save for a goal and I want to buy something I think we need. How these types of things get handled say a lot about a couple’s longevity, to me.





It’s another thing entirely of one party makes a demand that the other has absolutely no interest in and then tries to claim a compromise is a reasonable option by simply lessening their demand.


Example: if you partner proposed an open marriage. You said you have absolutely no interest so they offer to compromise and only THEY are in an open marriage.
Your partner says they want to move to Florida from California. When you say you don’t want to move away from your parents so they offer a compromise of Texas since it’s only half as far.
They offer to only use marijuana instead of cocaine when you say your not interested in having drugs in your life.

[OlderAndWiser]

1. There are certain things which should never be the subject of a compromise. Religious beliefs, relationship with parents and siblings, basic morality, etc.

2. Outside of those things, I agree with your premise. I am willing to compromise if my partner tells me that this isse is extremely important to her, and if she is always candid in making that assessment, AND if she is willing to compromise for me when our positions are reversed.

3. Anyone who does not know how to compromise is either single, divorced, or fixin' to get divorced!

[IslaTheWitch]

Relationship is built by both partners with equal rights.

Compromise means not all desired elements were included and should be equally divided between partners.

If only ONE partner compromises it's called a sacrifice and in general is the beginning of the end. Sacrifice brings expectations that someone will notice and appreciate the sacrifice. And people don't do that... because in relationship we expect our partner to voice their concerns and agree to things they really want to agree...

[JacobJordan]

Compromises are an interesting choice because it implies neither is entirely free to make their own choice. Here is what I will say. 95% of the time you and your partner will never need to compromise if the relationship is healthy. A further 3-4% of the time you can largely do both without any issues. For that last 1% it is kinda hazy if it is a compromise because if it affects you both you talk about it. You come to a unanimous decision and go with it. In the event you can't reach unanimous you revert to part 2 and just do both in different locations.

[LazerBean]

Depends on the compromise and on the relationship. If you're not married, then I would pretty much never compromise. I would just find someone who fits me better. Within marriage, you'll probably have to find a common ground unless it is something that is a detrimental moral/value issue.

[ZiaCowel2000]

I think you should comprise when you both can’t agree on something important , or when the matter really affects you or vice versa. Give and take. As in how… that depends on the situation and how the people in the relationship mind’s work. Everyone’s dynamic isn’t the same.

[Kaamraj]

Compromise in a relationship shold be based on the value that each partner provides another. I can only speak as a man, but after having established myself as the top 5% of my country, i do not make any concessions in my relationship, I dont have to. I have earned my value.

[DonnaC123]

Compromise is each person being unhappy and dissatisfied precisely 50% of the time. If he's a homebody and she's a social butterfly, then she should go out and enjoy the outgoing lifestyle while he relaxes at home. If she browbeats him until he goes out, he's going to be unhappy and ruin the experience for both of them. If he browbeats her until she stays home, she's going to be unhappy, and ruin the experience for both of them.

[FreyaRed]

Depends on many factors. Mutual good will and willingness for quid pro quo is important as well.

[NathanDavis]

when you're ready and willing to assume such compromise...

[pickles77]

The better the match the less you have to compromise. I would only compromise if I agree with her. Maby she has a point about something and should be done. That’s fair but if it’s kind of petty over something that makes you happy it’s not really fair

[SoJust]

If the other side understands you, if it doesn't rise above you, you can agree, if it rises above, if it makes arrogance, don't ever talk, know your own value all the time

[Guido]

Compromise is an essential element in every successful relationship. As long as one person is not always compromising then its good.

[Minahh]

You should compromise on trivial things and not your core values.

[Anonymous]

I say its when the issue is equally important to both people involved.

[lightbulb27]

Say yss til it hurts… then self reflect

[DreamLife7]

Another troll another day.. yawn