We ended on good terms even though I now think I was too nice to him as I just left amicably instead of calling him out on his lies (not that he would ever have admitted to it anyway).
I’m still connected to his Instagram but have muted him so I don’t see anything related to him, yet he still sees whatever I share and even liked a post of mine recently over a year on. He dated someone else pretty much a few weeks after we broke up and they’re still together. So why is he still trying to keep some form of connection going? I have no interest in him since the breakup as I saw some things in him that I am beyond thankful for that are not longer my problem anymore.
Updates
4 mo
It’s always been him initiating and maintaining bits of contact while he’s with someone else and I wasn’t too. What’s that all about? He posts about them all the time (in fact it’s 99.9% the only thing he posts) so if they’re truly that happy why is he still bothering me here and there?
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
1Opinion
Some people like to just keep tabs on their exes apparently. They don’t want their ex to complete forget about them so they’ll pop up every now and then to “check in” on how you’re doing even though they may have zero intention of wanting to get back together.
I know, but the real question is why.
Bcs they don’t want to be forgotten or just bcs they want to check up on you. I mean my ex and I still both follow each other and we like each other’s posts nbd. I’m nosy so I check out how people are doing from time to time, esp people who used to be a major part of my life.
What kind of answer are you hoping to get tho?
I’m trying to get to the root cause…so is it fair to say validation is the reason they don’t want to be forgotten because they’re slightly more insecure so are looking for it from others rather than themselves?
Are you being completely honest with yourself here about it being nbd? Are you sure you’re not secretly hoping for or gaining something else.
That’s fair to say it could be one of the reasons, you’ll never know for sure unless you ask him directly. Some people are just nosy and likes to stalk people online trying to see what they’ve been up to lol
Yep I am being honest. My ex and I grew up together, we broke up on good terms, he was one of my best friends when we were together. We don’t talk anymore out of respect for my new relationship but if I see a post of my ex doing well in life it still makes me happy and proud of him as a friend.
There’s more to it than just being nosy, even if unaware. There’s a reason for everything. Eh, what does someone actually gain from being nosy?
Eg**
Not really, some people don’t really think that deeply. For example I’m nosy and I stalk people to satisfy my curiosity, that’s all. I just like to see what other people are up to (and that includes my ex). My ex used to also stalk his exes or his old friends, they don’t talk anymore so the only way for him to see what they’re doing is by checking out their social media.
Your ex liking your posts and watching your stories is pretty common tbh, that just means that he’s chill with you, no bad blood or negative emotions towards you and he probably sees you as just one of his friends bcs he can casually like your pics/stories now. Just bcs you’re exes doesn’t mean that you can’t be friends, some exes maintain contact with each other and it’s still purely platonic.
Those people are denying or unaware of it. There’s a reason for everything, any psychologist will tell you that.
Na curiosity is Kure about remaining attachment if validation and reassurance it insecurity etc. I asked a therapist and they clarified this.
*or*
*more
Well curiosity or being nosy IS a reason tho. A therapist still wouldn’t be able to get inside someone’s mind, if you really want to know so bad then ask your ex.
I could ask you the same question tho, why do you still care so much that your ex is watching your stories/liking your posts?
It’s not the root reason, that’s the point. You’re ignoring the motivating factor to be nosy. People don’t just do something (be nosy) without a reason. A lot of people aren’t aware of their motivating factors too. Bit if you’re willing to dig deep enough, you’ll find it. It does require courage and honesty though.
I can answer that easily because I have nothing to hide, I’m aware of my doctors which are I still care for him and have some unresolved feelings. Why would I feel like I need to hide that?
*factors
I can see that you still have unresolved feelings for him because you seem to be digging way deeper than what is necessary to find an answer. Being nosy and curious can be a motivation for some people. He’s could just watching your stories and liking your posts because it pops up in his feed and he feels comfortable enough to do it now.
I’ll use myself as an example, when I just broke up with my ex I also muted his socials so I don’t have to see whatever he’s doing. Once I’ve moved on, I unmuted him and thus would like/watch his posts and stories bcs it doesn’t bother me anymore. Of course I still care about him, we were together for 6 years from when we were just teens. But I only care for him in a way that I want him to be happy and to succeed in life. If your break up with your ex was amicable, it’s not too far fetched that he might be feeling the same way.
Is he going out of his way to contact you? Is he hitting you up in your DMs or through text? If not then I don’t see anything wrong with exes liking each other’s posts tbh not everything has to have a deep motivation/reasoning behind it. If he’s dating someone else then he’s moving on, no one knows if he’s happy or not (him posting about her often doesn’t indicate anything about his happiness but at least it means he wants to show her off)
I get nosy about some IG models online, I check up on them from time to time to see what they’re up to and if they’re still dating the same person that I thought looked really good together with them. Just out of curiosity and that’s it…
He's curious to see how you are doing?
What’s driving the curiosity though? That’s what I’m trying to get at here.
You'd have to ask him.
He’d never be that honest. Part of the reason I’m glad to be rid.
Then focus on moving on with your dating life.
I don’t need advice, I am already dating someone new now and 99% do. But alas, human nature is curiosity. Hence the whole point of this site.
Human nature shouldn’t be denied. That’s the trouble with the majority of you youngsters and sometimes even a few older folk, but thankfully less so. Two things can be true at the same time, ie moving on and still having some natural curiosity. When we live in our truth, ironically that’s when we do truly move on, not by pretending to.