How often do you kiss your boyfriend/girlfriend?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Here’s a fun video my friend made of us and It reminded me of the question. My friend is the one in my pink top and I am hiding her face due to privacy reasons.

Updates

3 mo

The caption is not made by me 🤣 I don’t crave that personality haha

[love_conquers_lust]

Daily, when I did have a girlfriend. We probably made out every other day. Admittedly, we probably didn’t talk as much as we should have because we mostly spent our precious few hours together between work and school doing other things besides talking. We were young.

You’re right, you are kind of quirky and it’s cute if you’re having fun, I like that.

You’re like my ex and have the prettiest eyes. I like that outfit and those earrings. I see your friend’s bangs and I could see that working for you, too.

I still love that profile pic.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

What makes you think I am quirky? 🤭

[love_conquers_lust]

Because you made a quirky video.

[NathanDavis]

it's been a bit different in every relationship, as everyone's personality and character can vary... but at the very least, I'd kiss them every time we meet again... and before we depart from each other... and then as many in between

sometimes it's the mood and the right time... others "just because" spontaneously... lol

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

How often do you meet?

[NathanDavis]

well, we lived together... so that was usually every day

good night kisses, and good morning kisses as well

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Nice, nice ^^

[NathanDavis]

what about you though... now I'm curious about your answer to this question...

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I don’t have a boyfriend, when I did, we lived together and sometimes, he woke me up with kisses, when I was late for work, we kissed every time when I got back home from work and at night, I think we kissed and cuddled to sleep. That was along ago, almost forgot.

[NathanDavis]

that does sound nice, yes... very similar to my situation with an ex, so yes, I can see how would that be

some people do connect more in this way and like this much affection and closeness, need it too

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Yep. That’s right

[CoolCatMar1]

I wish i could do it again... I miss him😭

We used to kiss a lot

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

There will be someone better in future, no worries 💕💖

[CoolCatMar1]

😭😭😭😭

[Jennz6]

I’ll kiss 💋 her lips 👄 every chance I get

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

🤭🤭

[CalmUntilAbused]

As frequently as She wants it, simple as that. However, as I tend to take a liking to shy, slightly sheltered girls, it's probably going to be a pretty rare occurence.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Shy girls aren’t necessarily shy about kissing

[CalmUntilAbused]

Well... If She wanted to be kissed, She would be kissed. It's too distant of a future to even consider it anyway. Even holding hands is currently beyond my capability.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Why, how old are you?

[CalmUntilAbused]

I'm 25. It's not about how old I am... Though I'm mostly oblivious to the actual reason (it's the kind and not 100% truthful way to put it, but I really don't want to rant more than absolutely necessary).

[HiveBee]

You just need to feel like she wants it, so when she is always shy you don't know if you're just imposing your desire for a kiss onto her and she is just not saying anything.

And you don't want to pressure her so you don't kiss her.

Is that right?

[CalmUntilAbused]

@HiveBee

At this point, I've got no girlfilriend to kiss in the first place. But yeah, if I had one, I would be unwilling to pressure her. I might attempt to get close and hug her first, if she gets stiff, I'd fall back to my regular behavior.

[HiveBee]

Yea females a weird. I used to feel like that too.

I feel like there are two options. You either go the traditional "gendered" route, where you basically take her hands, put them behind her back, and ravage her. (This is like, an extreme example lol but it's to make a point).

That route sucks. I mean it's great if you can do it, but it sucks because we as men are scary rape monsters. Or so we are perceived. And if you are not a rape monster but a caring loving man who loves women and only wants women to feel safe and comfortable around you, you just won't know how to do the whole, Rico suave, lady man casanova, sweep her off her feet by violating her right to a choice to say no to you before you ravish her.

The other option is to ask for a kiss. Or to talk to her and say "I'm totally into you and wish I could make out with you all day."

But that's hard because it feels like women prefer Mr. Casanova who just knows how to perfectly walk the tightrope of consent that for some strange reason makes women go crazy.

[HiveBee]

So yea you can talk about it. You can ask her very directly. You could even ask her if she would like it if you put her hands behind her back.

You don't HAVE to walk that thin line impossible tightrope. Even by you asking, it's cool, she still gets to have her hands put behind her back.

That is like her greatest desire. Possibly. Some women aren't into that. If not, you have nothing to worry about! It's a lot easier when she isn't a freak.

But in my opinion like at least 80% of women are freaks who want to be spanks and have their hair pulled or, usually, much more extreme things than that.

All of that, is the epitome of why guys are so fucked up with women.

Because guys subconsciously know they are missing a special ingredient with women. And all men are trying to figure out what it is.

Well aren't you lucky because I'm explaining it to you.

[HiveBee]

That special ingredient is the ability to give her that which she needs most.

That is you taking control in the bedroom. You asking her if she wants that, is just as good as simply grabbing her hands, putting them away, and then you feel her up and strip her and fuck her the way she needs to be fucked.

That being, feeling submissive. Feeling powerless.

It's like crack for them. You're literally giving her endless mental and bodily orgasms that flood her body over and over and over and over.

That's what every woman wants and every guy who struggles with women in my opinion is struggling with exactly this.

If she likes you she wants you to worship her. Not like a Goddess or a slave, but as something beautiful.

She wants to be your object of lust. You the big strong man whose self control slips when he gazes upon his beautiful sexy prize.

She wants your control to slip and for you to become an animal and ravage her and forget to give her consent.

I hate that it may sound cringey to people but like... I could have ANY woman, writhing in the bed for hours, and I'm barely touching her.

That is the effect it has.

Your welcome.

[CalmUntilAbused]

@HiveBee

Well... The kind of girls I'm into is capable of controlling such carnal desires (it might be non-existent, though). I guess I could simply ask her, and I guess I could actually playfully put her hands behind her back (just without using any real force), but it would be much better if I were able to subconsciously realize that she wants to be kissed. The hug test I mentioned might work (at least if the kind of girls I'm into actually exists). If she gets stiff, I'd say she's uncomfortable with this level of skinship, if she gets relaxed, I might go for the kiss.

[CalmUntilAbused]

Oh, and I would definitely refrain from any actual intimacy until after marriage (the true, traditional, purely Catholic one - I guess it's going to be my way to be confident and forceful, as most girls might be hard to get convinced to choose this option).

[HiveBee]

In that case you probably shouldn't do any of that as I'm sure the bible is against such kinds of sex as women most enjoy.

That dom/sub stuff goes straight to hell.

But then you have to deal with the fact that she will resent you until the day you die for refusing to satisfy her needs.

Or you just need to marry a woman who never awakened them.

[love_conquers_lust]

@CalmUntilAbused Your initial response was the correct one for dating, and partially for relationships.

If you're nervous, what worked for me was letting my date make the first move while clearly expressing my desires during our conversations. I've also outright asked beforehand with another date, that worked as well.

But this question is about committed spouses, past the initial dating phase. You shouldn't be having these doubts in a relationship. There should be pretty much open access to each other at that point, much more natural. You should also be over the shyness hump.

There is no silver bullet. Your convictions are fine. Be consistent in representing yourself. Keeping it simple makes it easier. Say what you believe, then face judgement.

Dominant/submissive relationships do not go straight to hell. Here is clarification on what our faith says about such situations:
https://www.gotquestions.org/Bible-BDSM.html

@HiveBee is an idiot. I've argued him into the ground before. If he wants to lose another one, he'll open his mouth again, doing the same shit he's always done. Taking half truths and twisting them into poor conclusions to fit his narrative. He looks for every excuse to shed civility in favor of being some unchained animal. What he doesn't realize is if he wants to act like that, he'll get treated like one.

[CalmUntilAbused]

@love_conquers_lust

The cruel truth is that @HiveBee is actually statistically correct. Humanity in general has become animalistic these days and to find a woman who would be content with the traditional civil approach is nothing short of a miracle (yet being a believer, I do know that miracles do sometimes happen - and that's basically all I'm betting my life on). It's most certainly true that most women these days want to be forced into intimacy... The problem is, it's about absolute brutality, and I'm utterly incapable of that. Be the least bit hesitant and You get sued. Be simplu kind and You're being laughed at.

And then there are a few women who do want the traditional kind approach. As a human being, that is what I'm aiming for, and I do realize it is extremely unlikely to happen.

[CalmUntilAbused]

simply*

[love_conquers_lust]

Both you and @HiveBee confuse rape with Dominance/Submission, he does it intently. You're a fool to give him credence. When women, OR men, fantasize about "being raped", they're choosing their rapist. STATISTICALLY, choice is incompatible with rape for the victim. Prey does not choose their predator.

Further clarification, involuntary responses from the body do not indicate consent. When someone laughs hysterically from tickle torture, that doesn't mean they enjoy it.

The world you describe hasn't existed for thousands of years, its heyday has long passed. Even the most cruelest of governments are a step up from societies of conquest. That's the cruel truth.

Jesus was a servant leader. Your response leads me to believe you're looking for a pity party or your account isn't authentic. I suggest you consult your bible for guidance if you can't reach these conclusions independently. Rape is about dehumanization, much like slavery. To say women statistically support a world devoid of rule of law is either insulting them or calling them incompetent.

Furthermore, this whole post was about kissing. This little thread devolved into a topic about rape all instigated by @HiveBee. That should be a huge hint to you.

[CalmUntilAbused]

@love_conquers_lust

Well... The weird part is... I agree with of what You said. My main points of difference are as follows:

- We are not confusing rape with dominance/submission, we are actually talking precisely about dominance/submission. What I wanted to stress is that these days, anything but absolute dominance is considered weakness and submission, and thus it is usually required of the male partner in a relationship to behave like a rapist, while not actually being a rapist.
- The world we live in is a world where absolute dominance is the center of attention again. While Christianity still survives and it will survive, the dominant cult of today is what we might call the Cult of the Iron Fist. It's not even an actual religion, just a common belief that absolute dominance is the true value people should seek and whoever obtains it becomes an almost divine figure, unless their absolute dominance is challenged by someone stronger than them. Now, I'm not saying it's how it should be, I fully subscribe to the idea of servant leadership bestowed upon us by God Almighty, but it doesn't mean I'm going to pretend everything is fine. The world of today is the world of absolute dominance as the key value. It's obviously only going to be a temporary state, but that is how it is at this point. All we can do is oppose these beliefs, showing the true value and potential of Christian values, including servant leadership.

[CalmUntilAbused]

- Now, about women... I know for sure it's not an absolute rule (ironic, isn't it?), as I know several examples to the contrary personally, but based on my observations, most women tend to subscribe to the Cult of the Iron Fist, requiring their partners to be capable of (usually physically) overpowering them at any time in order to keep them. Thus, the general guidance provided by @HiveBee is correct in most cases. The choice to disregard it is my own choice and while I intend to stick to it until my death, I am perfectly aware that what I need for my attitude to prevail is nothing short of a true miracle.

Lastly, on a slightly different tone, to stress it as strongly as possible, I do realize that the original topic was about kissing, that's why I limited myself to commenting on the "kissing" part of the guide I was given and openly rejecting everything else as irrelevant. However, not being one to shy away from a serious debate, I decided to formulate an overall comment on the whole guide when inspired by Your response. I am also perfectly aware of what the true purpose of that guide I was provided was (it was basically to convert me to the Cult of the Iron Fist), and that's one more reason why I'm not going to follow it, even though I believe there was a hint of good intentions behind it, namely to helpe to adapt to the reality at hand (which I politely refuse to do).

[CalmUntilAbused]

"with most of what You said"*

[CalmUntilAbused]

"help me adapt"*

[love_conquers_lust]

@CalmUntilAbused That was an awfully belabored response to what sums to your claim "I won't listen to him." Both your points of refute forsake your faith.

You can follow him at your own peril. You have a guidebook right in front of you, but you're not hearing its teachings. Again, I don't believe your account to be authentic.

A society is judged by how it treats the most vulnerable amongst them. You need to learn that.

[HiveBee]

@love_conquers_lust You don't understand a single word I say and you repurpose my meanings to mean what you want for them to mean.

And then you fight your straw man argument while ignoring everything I say like literally every dummy on this site.

And I have to sit here and type out a whole book in order to correct your inability to understand anything I say.

I'm just on another level than you and you aren't capable of conversing with me on any topic.

All you can do is misinterpret my words and throw unwarranted accusations at me.

I'm not saying anything "uncivil" whatsoever. If you had reading comprehension you would get it.

[HiveBee]

@love_conquers_lust My view of people's fetishes for rape comes from academic feminism.

Feminists understand how it works. We live in a society where men have sexual power over women.

Women are FORCED to understand in their minds, that they could very potentially become the victim of a brutal viscious rape by a disgusting repulsive man.

The recognition of this factual reality in a woman's mind is TRAUMATIZING.

This is the root of female rape fantasy.

It is TRAUMA.

The person develops a fetish for the worst things imaginable.

They then seek to have these fetishes satisfied in an obviously logical way. Being with someone you love and trust.

But most women don't seem know what is going on. All they know is it turns them on when a man displays dominance.

They are not educated feminists who recognize the truth. Even so, (educated) feminists admit freely to engaging in their fetishes despite the reality of patriarchy.

You seem to be having some other argument with me where you can't fathom what I'm saying and all you can do is get mad. There's nothing to be mad about.

[love_conquers_lust]

@HiveBee UNable, to understand you. Because you’re using words improperly. You’re typing out books because it feels like you have to semantically redefine the terms you’re using.

There is no straw man. I addressed you and YOUR topic at hand. There isn’t equivocation, diversion, or distraction.

The irony here is you’re committing the same sins you’re accusing me of, “straw manning”. I have a problem with you and the people of your like because your go to is insult the person you’re arguing with, it’s annoying. You sound exactly like PUAs like VegasRunner, Exterminator, any asshole who states biological truths as justification for animalistic behavior that violate civil rights.

If you’d focus on the fucking facts presented before you, such as that link I posted directly contradicting your claim, you’d be more credible. But you don’t. You continue to argue like a 5 year old. Thus, I continually have a problem with you.

[HiveBee]

@love_conquers_lust I did read your link and it was a very short and ultimately meaningless article.

Here is something of substance that is merely the tip of the ice berg:

www.pacesconnection.com/.../why-do-women-have-sexual-fantasies-of-rape

This stuff goes all the way deep into philosophy, feminism, biology, psychoanalysis such as Lacan Freud or zizek, and much more!

The things I say are merely small bits of my understanding of topics that go far above my head.

And it's very very interesting. And for some reason you are mad about it.

That's what I'm curious about. Specifically what are you mad about?

[love_conquers_lust]

@HiveBee You call it meaningless because you don’t want it to be meangFUL, not because it IS meangless. It refutes you, correctly, and you don’t like it.

You fail to recognize the paradox of rape fantasies. Victims of actual rape don’t get to choose the time, place, or acts which occur. Thus, it is illegal.

What you’re reading about is people exercising their imaginations. Fantasizing about being “forced” into sexual acts that they actually want and with someone they usually want. They’re consenting by indulging themselves, having the freedom to do so. Thus, it doesn’t meet the legal definition of rape

This is where the confusion lies that I think you’re trying to exploit conditioning yourself and others into justifying legal rape. It does piss me off because you’re trying to say women want to be raped and I’m trying to tell you, you don’t even understand the definition. You’re absolutely right you’re on another level, whether it’s above or below…

[HiveBee]

@love_conquers_lust you can't read if what you took from what I said was "the justification of rape."

My grammar is very clear. If you interpreted that, that is on your failure to read well enough.

Go ahead and quote what I said specifically that makes you believe that I am justifying rape.

You are not willing to be an honest person. Stop acting crazy because nobody here is saying anything crazy.

You are the one who can't read my guy. You are the one injecting meanings into my words that I never meant.

There's too many of you dummies on here for me to waste all my time refuting your lack of reading comprehension.

[love_conquers_lust]

@HiveBee Should rape be criminalized? Yes or no.

[CalmUntilAbused]

"How I started World War III"... Anyway, I'm sticking to my initial opinion

[strateguy632]

rarely, now. as minors we could only kiss so we kissed on the lips as minors but now only rarely kiss. if i remember i kiss her forehead but recently have not kissed that either.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

How long have you been together?

[FunkyMonkee]

When I had one, several times a day. Then, she started go goofy on me about 5 years in and I wasn't allowed to kiss her in public, anymore!

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Oops sorry to hear

[FunkyMonkee]

Thanks but, it was about 28 years ago.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I wasn’t even born back then.

[RebelinSteel]

When in a relationship it’s pretty much all the time either needs it, that intimate contact.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

All the time?

[RebelinSteel]

All the time either needs it, as in being there for each other when a kiss is required, not like 24/7 of lips stuck together lol

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Good to hear, I was almost concerned for your girlfriend haha

[RebelinSteel]

lol yeah would be really weird

[aceleon]

i don't or never had one (was never my thing it gets monotonous eventually i want permanence) but realisticly imagining, most likely every time i felt like it, i am a really touchy feely person even with my male friends (borderline flirtatious) so imagining i have a girlfriend whom i am allowed to be touchy feely without getting arrested, frequent kisses are just the appetizer.

[Massageman]

I've had to stop totally. My wife won't let me.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Sorry to hear that, maybe kiss her hand for the beginning? And slowly make your way up to lips

[Anonymous]

Well if kissing other than lips count too then easily more than 20 times a day from morning to night

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

What about lips?

[Opinion Owner]

ADHD

[mandyfire98]

I love kissing. I'm always kissing my partners normally. It doesn't take much

[justabuddy]

Kisses are like vehicles. You really only need one... but... one is never enough.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Interesting saying

[justabuddy]

A little wisdom mixed with a touch of humor :).

[Alex-Snow]

As often as possible but then again I'm incredibly horny at my age

[spartan55]

Didn't know you did thespian work also..

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Me? Actress? Noo, haha

Just a fun video my friend asked for help with

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

It’s taken like 7 months ago.

[spartan55]

See! Now you are being humble...😂 😂

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

How happened you no longer use the word “bragging”? What a day!

[sheikalana]

I kiss my husband every day.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Nice 😊

[LavLavLuv]

I kiss him about 500 times a day lol jk

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Haha

[Fxjjxhhccbgcfccc]

I'm ace and single

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Ace?

[Fxjjxhhccbgcfccc]

Asexual

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Oh okay. Cool name

[jarkitor20]

At least 10 times a day

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Nice

[Badcool]

At least 10 times a day I guess I don't count but it's a lot of times 😂 I think you should enjoy the moment and affection from your partner and stop caring about countdown

[TonyMetal___86]

Hahaha, a funny sue lee fatale with a 90's hair style 🤣🤣

[shortster]

When I was dating, several times a day.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

What about now?

[shortster]

I have nobody to kiss

[OddBeMe]

Only after going down on her and smearing her dirty vag juice all over her face.

[HiveBee]

And then you rub your face on hers and you guys go out shopping smelling like fish.

[OddBeMe]

@HiveBee we go to her parents house and I hug and kiss her mother.

[Jerre]

Every time I am with her

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Nice, how often is that?

[Jerre]

@LaFemmeFatale_1 Thank you for the Like

[Jerre]

@LaFemmeFatale_1 at least 4-5 times a week. I and she really enjoys kissing, especially tongue to tongue. Always gives me a boner.