I'm in love with a girl, I found out she in a relationship it hurts... I feel bad for chasing her, It's hurting a lot.. Should I apologize?

[S0medude]

I fell for her genuinely. I started liking everything about her: her laugh, her voice. We used to talk a lot and be available to each other all the time. One day, she did casually mentioned her boyfriend. I thought it was nothing serious because she used to refer to him as a friend and never talked about him much. We used to talk almost 3-4 hours every day. Today, she posted a picture with him. It feels like someone has stabbed my heart. Everything feels so loud!

I don't know what to do. Maybe all this time when I was chasing her, she was just being nice to me. She definitely knew I was in love with her; I made it very obvious. I feel so bad. I don't remember when was the last time I cried, but today I just can't stop. This is how my first day of 2024 turned out to be. I can't run away; we work together. I'll have to face her every day. I have not confessed but i feel so stupid.. more than that it hurts.. i can't put in words.. someone i was thinking about all day.. to see her with someone else..

Can someone tell me what I should do? I want to tell her I'm sorry for chasing her; now I think maybe I made her uncomfortable all this time we were talking, i got carried away because she never said anything that made me think i was doing or saying something wrong, . I'm confused. I feel like I'm dying...

[Screenwriter]

Ack. Lots of women enjoy being admired and being told or knowing that some guy loves them. She realized you had a crush on her and was willing to allow your attention and admiration until she finally thought it had gone too far. She liked you chasing her and talking to her all the time. It was entertaining and flattering.

It's very sad she didn't take YOUR feelings into consideration and was only concerned with her own. She should have told you right off the bat that she had a boyfriend, but the fact that she didn't meant she didn't want you to know, because she knew your admiration and attention would stop.

This is an awful way to use someone. You do NOT need to apologize. You did nothing wrong. You assumed she was available, she did not disabuse you of this.

NEXT TIME, find out before you throw your heart into the ring. ASK.

I think you might confront her with the fact that she let you go on chasing her when she KNEW she had a boyfriend this entire time. I'd tell her that she was mean to allow you to think you had some chance with her and it's hurt your feelings.

Then, I'd never say a word to her again unless it was concerned with something to do with work. She appears to be a thoughtless person and best avoided. You'll get over this in time. Talk to friends, and when you don't feel so wounded, get out a meet some new people. The workplace isn't a great place to get involved anyway. Good luck.

[S0medude]

Thank you so much for writing this, it helps a lot. I do want to ask her why she did this, I'm genuinely and wholeheartedly in love with her and it hurts so much thinking that she was just playing. Thank you

[Screenwriter]

I don't think you're going to get anywhere asking her. I'm sure she wasn't intent on hurting you. Maybe she doesn't get that kind of adoration from her boyfriend. She wasn't "playing"... She was enjoying her time with you for what it was to HER. She never thought about what it was to you until you began revealing to her your feelings. It finally dawned on her that she was in trouble with you. So her boyfriend materialized, TO STOP YOU. And also, to stop her...

Forgive her and let it go. Distance yourself. Don't ask. She probably cannot explain it, or she would NOT have done it. Find someone available in the near future after your wounds heal. She is nothing more than an acquaintance and cannot BE anything more than that.

Keep reminding yourself of this.

[S0medude]

Thank you again, now that you have mentioned I think I'm much more comfortable to just letting it go than to confront her and you are right nothing will come out of it. I'll definitely consider your suggestions. Thank you so much

[Screenwriter]

Great good luck

[S0medude]

Hello mam, I'm little confused if possible could you please help me I don't know what to do sorry to bother you again but here is what happened I was avoiding her by not getting on 1 on 1 calls with her and saying only things that were required.. nothing more than work and she is now concerned with that and she questioned me why I'm behaving like this, I told her it my problem I'll fix it and it won't affect our work.. then she said something like she thought I was kidding and not serious that's why she was letting me chase her.. and other things.. I have said nothing I was just trying to maintain some distance. I don't know what to say to her please help me with this situation.. sry since I'm not very active here I could not message u personally it needs lvl 2 account

[Screenwriter]

Ignore her and do what you're doing. It's best for you.

She knew you weren't kidding. Who says they're in love with someone and not mean it.

And who allows a man to chase her when she is already involved with a regular boyfriend/SO. Don't fall for it. She's not concerned. She misses the attention and fawning. Selfish be-atch.

[HollyK21]

Take accountability for not telling her you had feelings, let alone full blown love. Truth is, it doesn’t matter how much you think you hinted or showed signs, unless you verbally confess to having feelings then you cannot expect her or any other woman to just “know” you’re into them. You have your reasons but ultimately you chose to stay silent and that is something you have to make peace with. I’m sorry you’ve missed your opportunity, but if she becomes single again and you still have those feelings then I hope you don’t make this mistake again.

[S0medude]

I was hesitant to tell (that is directly like "I love you" ) since i did not knew whether she felt the same and since we have to see each other everyday it would have been difficult but now.. ya, it does sounds like an excuse.. I'll keep this in mind next time thank you.

[HollyK21]

I don’t blame you for being hesitant, since she’s your coworker confessing was risky so I get it. Still, your feelings had much surpassed interest or even a crush, so maybe it would’ve been worth giving it a shot, which is why I mentioned accountability. It’s all in hindsight now, hopefully you get another chance in the future. 🙏

[aceleon]

this is what you should do, lend me an ear now wil ya? SHUT UP AND BE A MAN!!!

seriously? crying for a girl? let alone a girl who has another guy in his life? and let alone still let's another guy chase her? when did you lost your balls?

when youare crying right now, she probably fucks her boyfriend, on her knees sucking his cock or bended over.

if this doesn't kill your pseudo love for her you are a hopeless case and what you need to do is growing a pair and while youare at it get a tougher skin.

[KrakenAttackin]

She only wants you as an emotional tampon. Her boyfriend is likely a Chad who just fucks her silly but doesn't want to listen to her babbling bullshit.

Don't apologize for anything, just cut her off and move on. She is the one who should apologize.

[TadBehaya]

It is her who lied to you. She mentioned her boyfriend as a friend to you and lead you on. Don't feel so heavy on yourself. The girl is at fault here. Don't let her make you believe like you're in the wrong. Just avoid her at all costs. She doesn't sound like a good person.

[HollyK21]

It’s possible her and that guy weren’t in a relationship yet, who knows how far back this timeline stretches back.

[S0medude]

Thank you for replying, I feel bad really bad, she felt like the nicest women in this world and now that reality has slapped me hard, i see things still it's hard to accept it, I will try to avoid her, hope it does not affect our work and team.

[TadBehaya]

@s0medude yes, no need to get back to her. Move on 😊

[Anonymous]

Truth-bomb. A lot of women (certainly I've been guilty of this) keep a "backup plan" in the wings. If you fear this is the case, figure out if you're willing to be the backup plan, if you want to step away from the whole situation, or if you can convince yourself to simply be a friend.

[Anonymous]

Are you still a 14-year-old?

Get over it.

[S0medude]

This is very strange emotions i'm feeling neither do i have much experience such emotion, sorry if i sound like a 14 year old.

[Tharithi]

How about u ask her if she really has a boyfriend

[S0medude]

I did.. after she posted that..

[Tharithi]

I think she’s making people jealous. Why u love her

[S0medude]

I did not like her when we started working together, it was work that brought us together.. i got to know her slowly and just that... also i think we were spending a lot of time together almost like 5-6 hours talking, working even when it was not required she become a habit.. now i think she knew what she was doing it was always her calling me after work, for things which could wait or that did not required my involvement..

[Tharithi]

U are contradicting now bruhhh

[S0medude]

Why do you think that? I said I didn't like her at the start, to indicate it wasn't love at first sight. I fell for her after getting to know her—I like her because she was always nice to me, always went out of her way to help me. Additionally, I could connect with her perspective on life and relationships. Whenever we discussed, it felt like we shared the same sentiments. Also, she is beautiful; she positively glows.

[Tharithi]

Beautiful? What’s beautiful to u and wdym glow

[Anonymous]

Let her go. There is someone out there who will not lead you on and adore you just like you deserve.