What are some behaviours that cheaters have?

Question

I’ve heard that random aggressive mood swings can be an early sign, aswell as love bombing. I’ve also heard that the cheater freaks out if you do anything on their phone, or try to look at it when they’re using it. What are some other behaviours?

wolfcat87 · Accepted Answer

1. Responding abnormally to sex with you. They may be avoiding it, asking you to do something out of the norm to try to reenact what they did with the other person using you, or being more horny due to honeymoon hormones. 😳 This is all very common.

Example - An ex stopped being able to perform during sex due to guilt. But, the guilt didn't stop the cheating.

An ex tried to force everything he liked about sex from other women on me without me knowing. He didn't want them for a relationship, but he wanted to take the things he enjoyed from them and add them to me somehow. Like Frankenstein's monster.

2. Getting weird about their phone and computers.

Example - With one guy we were about to have sex, I was doing things to him, and he was staring at his phone with a big smile on his face. I playfully went to grab his phone to set it to the side. He reacted by suddenly snatching it away. He was still smiling though. I laughed and playfully said, "If I didn't know better I would think you were cheating, that was really suspicious!" We both just laughed. Found out years later that he was in fact cheating at that time. If never been suspicious because he always let me look at his phone, but he been deleting things.

3. Suddenly "needing space" when they never did before. An attempt to keep you from showing up at the wrong time or checking in while they are cheating. Very common.

Becoming distant for no obvious reason.

Example - An ex became distant so I wouldn't notice the women he had coming over or that he was driving out of town to meet other women. Ironically, when I tried to bring up us being distant he blamed me, blamed work, or pretending he didn't notice.

4. Suddenly becoming very critical of you. Whether to you, others, or both. They are tearing you down to find excuses to justify cheating even if they were completely happy before.

Example - An ex would start a fight the second he walked in the door to justify cheating. Once I counted, and he didn't make it 15 seconds inside the door without suddenly yelling about something critically. Again, I didn't know he was cheating and didn't understand why he was so angry no matter what I did.

5. Accusing you of things. They don't have to be sex related. Likely to relieve guilt, throw off suspicion, and keep you busy.

6. Sounding overly enthusiastic when talking about someone else. Randomly bringing up a new person. Often they struggle not to mention this exciting new thing to you, so they still mention it but in a twisted lie of a way.

Example - An ex would sometimes mention other women at work. He was fantasizing about cheating with them and tried to with at least one. He also showed me a picture of a girl on a bus just mentioning she'd messaged him online. I said something about her being jailbait. He was cheating with her.

7. Randomly disappearing. Maybe they fell asleep early. Maybe they are driving 6 hours round trip in the middle of the night for a fling.

MsBell2018 · Accepted Answer

Going into another room to make or take a call. If a call comes in, silences it quickly & doesn't answer. Goes to the bathroom after ignoring phone call. Spends 20 + minutes in the bathroom & doesn't flush or wash hands. Has to "go run an errand" & either won't say where, gets mad if asked, doesn't answer when asked where or declines you going with them. Always has their phone on them & won't set it down & leave it. Sleeps with phone under pillow. Leaves unexpectedly without saying anything. Showers right before unexpectedly leaving or showers immediately when coming back. Doesn't undress infront of you if used to. Calls you by the wrong name-especially when mad or having sex. Gets something personal wrong about you- like brings you a card & flowers for your birthday & it's NOT your birthday, or gets you the wrong size or favorite color clothes/ bra/panties/ lingerie. Talks about a memory or place you've been together & you're 1,000% positive you've never been there. They smell like someone else's scent. Clothes that don't belong to either of you are found. Bites or scratches on them & they say the bumped or scratched themselves. You test + for a STD & know you haven't been with anyone else!

Oliverlogan263 · Accepted Answer

Some other signs cheaters may show:

- Being secretive about their phone/tablet/computer and changing passwords. Always having it face down too.

- Staying out later than usual without good explanations for what they were doing.

- Less sex/physical affection with you but making more effort with their looks like dressing better, etc.

- Lying about small dumb things a lot more often. Like where they were or who they saw.

- Accusing you of cheating a lot too as a way to deflect suspicions off themselves.

- Being super attentive right after they were out alone or away from you for a while. Trying to make up for something.

- Talking a lot about or being way too interested in their "work wife/husband" or somebody you've never met before.

- Stopping introducing you to friends/family or distancing you from their social circle.

- Smiling/lighting up way more when on their phone than when talking to you in person.

- Blaming stress, work, family issues etc. for being distant but not making effort to fix it.

Of course none of these mean for sure someone's cheating, but a few suspicious behaviors plus gut feelings are usually signs something ain't right.

coachTanthony · Accepted Answer

most cheaters become jealous of their partner because they start to wonder if they can get away with what they are doing is their partner doing the same thing. So if your partner starts to become jealous for no reason that is a good hint that he or she is up to something (called the guilty concious)

LaFemmeFatale_1 · Answer

Don’t understand why not just break up instead of cheating…

sage2021 · Answer

They'll talk bad about a female you both know but that's just to make you think he doesn't like her, when she's the very one he's cheating with.

Says he's going to walk to the store to get you something for breakfast and doesn't come home for hours. Comes in the door way over why it took him so long to get home. i. e. he ran into a friend and they started talking; the lines at the store were so long, I just said forget it and came home empty handed
Get's passive aggressive - if you accuse him of cheating, he doesn't get verbal with you, instead he takes things of yours and throws them in the trash or hides them.

All the tricks in the book with his phone.

Definitely takes a shower before and after going somewhere.

Comes home wearing a hoodie that smelled like nasty smelling womans cologne. Then unzips it and his chest smells like the hoodie.

If he's cooking for you, on purpose he ruins what you were going to eat. He will put sugar on top of perfectly good scrambled eggs. But now you don't get breakfast because he ruined it.

Flatmanlewis · Answer

For me it was a gut feeling more than anything. Long hours at work, which was normal from the day we met, suddenly became a source of tension and interrogation. Why would she suddenly think I was NOT at work when I said I was? Well, because cheaters become very paranoid that other people are just like they are and the fear is you are doing to them what they are doing to you.

With any amount of hindsight I see nothing but danger signs from day one and I learned a lot. Maturity was a huge factor I should have been paying more attention to.

JustinTheGreat · Answer

Sometimes cheaters will talk negatively about the person they’re cheating with to make you feel less worried.
like “oh my coworker is so annoying. I don’t like working with them. They’re ugly and weird. Etc etc”

they say that while they’re tryna get into their pants the whole time lol. I’ve witnessed that a few times.

worldscolide · Answer

Acting or behaving distant. Hiding things from you.. Like hiding their phone when you come in the room. Taking their phone to the bathroom.. Granted I do this cause I read books while on the toilet.. Projection, accusing you of cheating when you have not. Suddenly becoming protective of their location.

Al_Musafir · Answer

Shady behaviour, concealing things that matter while telling you that it shouldn't matter, being flaky and dodgy when asked about things, having different answers to describing the kind of relation they have with people of opposite gender they know which are out of their family.

AnusNdaPainus · Answer

Cheaters always feel a need to remind you how attractive they are

they’ll even vocalize when someone hits on them

cheaters have very big Egos but they always end up alone and sad not just because they cheat but because they don’t know how to treat people

Tim2nice · Answer

Why are you asking? Are you doing a dissertation on this subject or are you just paranoid about your partner?

Anonymous · Answer

They will openly hate on the person they like or might cheat with. You might think they really don’t like that person, whole time they do and may cheat with them.

KittygosMeoWW · Answer

All of the above, never posting you on their social media, trying to win your friends over, being controlling about what you do and who it’s with, and they’ll usually talk shit about the person they’re cheating with.

Still-alive · Answer

When they say they're going out but always seem to be late coming back. When they say they're gonna do something but do the complete opposite. When what they say and what they do don't match up.

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

Moodiness, over anxious, withdrawn from communication, seems preoccupied with self, etc.

laly520 · Answer

constantly lying, being sneaky, gaslighting, tending to be rude etc

Anonymous · Answer

Cheaters are always concerned that you are following them or that you are cheating. Suspicious behaviour, lies, not where they said they were.

LiamJHayden · Answer

1. Cheating, of course. 2. Many will accuse the innocent party. 3. Keeping weird hours that are not related to a work schedule.

Vesuvius87 · Answer

Gaslighting, excessive love bombings (they posted 10-20 greeting happy b-day cards on your FB) and them constantly reminding you how they would never cheat on you, how they're a nice man/woman and getting upset if you miss their call.

Squatting_Slav · Answer

All the above, I would also add snarky comments such as asking you to lose weight or look a certain way. There's no unconditional love in that if addressed bluntly without a heart to heart conversation

FenixG45 · Answer

I have been cheated on by a girlfriend. We fought and she stormed off and slept with a friend. Are you in the habit of examining your SO's phone?

ComteDeSaintGermain · Answer

Your man would never cheat on you. He's the perfect guy.

nik0102 · Answer

Not taking accountability, blaming others or society, being unfulfilled in a relationship due to prior bad communication  Just to name a few

Rizzlekicked · Answer

1) always on their phone 2) always inquisitive 3) they tend to overdo time with you or gifts because of guilt

admles · Answer

They start accusing YOU of cheating.

WhitneySnow · Answer

I’ve heard all those things you have

Anonymous · Answer

It varies per person.

bananathunder · Answer

breathing air

Anonymous · Answer

Gaslighting

What are some behaviours that cheaters have?

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What Girls & Guys Said

Moodiness, over anxious, withdrawn from communication, seems preoccupied with self, etc.

What are some behaviours that cheaters have?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Moodiness, over anxious, withdrawn from communication, seems preoccupied with self, etc.

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