Guys would you have issues if your girlfriend's or wife's best friends from childhood are men?

[Anonymous]

I'm not dating at this moment but I was wondering what men generally think about this:

I have 2 female best friends too and other female friends too but my 4 best friends from my childhood years (we were 8-9 year-olds when we all met at the same school they grew up close to my neighborhood) are men. As a kid, I used to play their games too. I was both girly and tomboy.

What do you guys think? Would you have issues if your woman (girlfriend or wife) had male best friends from childhood? She grew up with them.

[Valdemort]

Regardless of what men think, don't settle for anyone who doesn't allow you to stay friends with people you've known your entire life for someone who just came into your life.


(As someone in a similar situation, I know I wouldn't even bother dating them if the person told me I wasn't allowed to spend time with my male friends.)

[Asker]

Off course I would never dump any of my life time friends for someone I meet as an adult. I believe communication and trust is important in the relationship.

[KrakenAttackin]

@Valdemort. "Regardless of what men think"... Wow, way to totally disregard what men want in a relationship. Men having preferences and boundaries is totally reasonable.

[Valdemort]

@KrakenAttackin you're right. They have, but I wouldn't want to date a guy who'd tell me who to be friends with if I have known those friends for much longer than I know this potential partner.
That being said, I kinda meant it in a more general sense... regardless of how anyone else feels about this situation, if my friendship is important to me, I wouldn't need too long to make my decision.
Beside, it's not only about what men want in a relationship, it's about what's reasonable as well. If you were to have a female friend you've known for the majority of your life and your friendship is completely platonic, I wouldn't want you to set aside that friendship for me as a potential partner. I would expect the same kind of trust and respect from the other party.

[KrakenAttackin]

So don't. But don't be bitchy when your boyfriend has numerous "girl friends" who are seeking his time and attention.

[Valdemort]

@KrakenAttackin no you're definitely right, I'm not saying you're wrong. I would want to have my boyfriend to have female friends, or at least, to not ditch them for me. Because I value my friendships and I would want him to do the same. But there's a difference in being friends and friends with benefits, hah.
If anything, as long as you trust one another, I don't think intersexual friendships should be a problem... that's all I'm saying.

[mentallybroken0420]

It's cool with me long as they just friends ain't nothing to worry about

[HighValue]

If she was friends with them from that young of an age and they never dated, aren't physical with each other, and she doesn't discuss our relationship with them then it could be okay. Any NEW opposite gender friends is unacceptable and grounds for ending the relationship.

[Drumlin2001]

I don't. My OH has plenty of male friends, mostly gay or married. I have no issue with it. I trust her implicitly.

[Asker]

Great to hear there is trust.

[Apple1996]

For a secure man it wouldn't be a issue. Only insecure men freak out about their girlfriend having male friends

[KrakenAttackin]

@Apple1996. That's absurd. "Male friends" are the next boyfriend/husband in waiting.

[IslaTheWitch]

@KrakenAttackin I'm really sorry for your insecurities in relationships. It must be a nightmare living only to suspect your spouse...

[Apple1996]

@KrakenAttackin men and women can be friends without being attracted to each other

[KrakenAttackin]

@IslaTheWitch If only it was just "my" nightmare. I realize my experiences are mine, but I have communicated with legions of men who have shared similar experiences. Women feel entitled to bad behavior, so much so that it has become normalized.

As I said in a different post, the one power a man has in a relationship is the power to WALK when she abuses, disrespects, or otherwise crosses his boundaries.

[turnpost]

@KrakenAttackin legions of men lol.

Why are you talking like such a victim? Lol

[turnpost]

Men and Women can be friends. Like come on now this extremly childish to assume otherwise.
--old age diff.
--Different race
--Life circumstance
--Already married
--Some guys just want to clear there mind and keep things decoupled in terms of experiences.

(Your thinking like a High School teen, upgrade a little more)

[Apple1996]

@turnpost a lot of men are stuck in a high-school mindset so you are very right about that last part

[turnpost]

Kraken what may help you. Is to reflect on your actions about what you would in such situation. Reflection and change of piorities in regards to what a persons values in ones life experience, would probably help.

Are you the type of person who would break someone elses marriage just to get to engage in lust?

[turnpost]

Instead of asking your harem of boyfriends, ask yourself what do you think and feel about a situation. Listening to the echo chamber you will only hear your own voice repeated. (I am sure you know this)

(If your Gay thats Okay)

[KrakenAttackin]

@Apple1996. Your guy friends want to bang you silly unless they are gay.

[IslaTheWitch]

I wouldn't create a relationship with a man who doesn't trust me... And yes, most of my friends are men. And I have known them much longer than any man I get to know now... so the choice is pretty simple, right? I wouldn't give up any of my years-long friendships for a random man.

[KrakenAttackin]

@IslaTheWitch Why aren't you dating/married to any of these men?

[IslaTheWitch]

@KrakenAttackin because they are friends. I don't date/sleep with friends, it's not that kind of relationship.

[KrakenAttackin]

Very few men will be ok with this. You can bet the majority of those guys want to sleep with you. To a man, the implication is "if you displease me I can always just run over here". There is an implied threat by a woman having male "friends". Whether you agree or not, there it is.

[IslaTheWitch]

@KrakenAttackin Both my partners didn't have any problem with that. It was natural that I have my circle of friends, and they have theirs. We wanted to be together, and no one forced us, so no one ever thought about threatening each other with "I can run over there." It's immature and insecure. The relationship should be based on communication and trust.

[KrakenAttackin]

@IslaTheWitch. "relationship should be based on communication and trust". I agree but both are in dwindling supply with no sign of an air drop.

Kick and scream all you want, men don't want a woman who has a lot of make friends. He may tolerate it, but it is definitely an issue. That's reality.

[IslaTheWitch]

@KrakenAttackin fortunately, my reality is different :D

[KrakenAttackin]

That's fine. I am just giving you insight into the male mind.

[IslaTheWitch]

@KrakenAttackin And I show you that, fortunately, there are many different men in this world

[KrakenAttackin]

That's fine. The only man I can imagine who is ok with your having male "friends", is a man who isn't very invested in you.

[IslaTheWitch]

@KrakenAttackin you are entitled to your opinion :D

[KrakenAttackin]

Yes ma'am.

[Surely]

I would hope that if they were truly and respectful friends. They would think enough of you not to be trying to boink you. When you are in a relationship with a guy.
It would also depend on how you react when around your long term friends.

[Asker]

There isn't any romantic interest between us. To them, I'm like a sister and they're like brothers to me. If we hang out and have lunch, we paid our own meals; the same as if I was hanging out with female friends.

[Surely]

I have female friends who are like that with me. As long as you would return the same trust to me. I probably wouldn’t have a problem with your relationship.

[Asker]

It's fine by me too if he has female friends. A relationship should be about communication and trust.

[Surely]

Good deal!

[Zestyassmf1997]

Yeah. Girls with a ton of guy friends are enormous red flags.

[Asker]

Even if they aren't men she met as adult? I knew them since we were kids. I'm like a sister to them and they are like my brothers. No romantic feelings at all.

[Zestyassmf1997]

It’s still a little unusual.

[Monalisa77]

Why? I get on better with makes and ic an garuntee they dont like me that way lol plus if a bloke knows about them before getting with someone he can't complain lol

[Monalisa77]

Males

[Zestyassmf1997]

How long have you known them?

[Monalisa77]

Me? I dont have matrs as uch but when i do chat to the guys and try to make friends with them i can defo garuntee they dont like me and are either married or have a girlfriend

[DextroShade]

That would 100% be a deal-breaker for me and a lot of other men, especially if they are worth a damn.

[Asker]

Even though they're the same men I've known since we were kids? We're like siblings to each other. I'm like a sister to them and they're like brothers to me.

[DextroShade]

Men are not your friends.

[Asker]

But my parents are their parents parents too. We're like families. Why would I throw away long-term friends? Why do you say they're not friends?
2 of them already have their own girlfriend.

[DextroShade]

Are they friends or are they your blood relatives?

[Asker]

They're my friend but they're like my brothers.

[Telekinetic-Potato]

That wouldn't bother me much, definitely have to watch out though lol

[OtterMan68]

if she's my girlfriend, I trust her. If I didn't trust her, she would not be my girlfriend

[Asker]

yeah it's all about communication and trust

[admles]

No, because I’m not insecure.

I broke up with an ex once because she “doesn’t allow her partner friends of the opposite sex”

[GregorMclane]

Absolutely not. If any guy has a problem with that it means they are insecure.

[Sevenpointfive]

not the way i look. i can't be just friends

[Asker]

Men and women can be platonic friends. There is no romantic interest between my 4 male best friends and me. They care about each other like siblings do.

[Sevenpointfive]

insecure men make women stop talking to guy friends that are actually guy friends. i've had girls do this with me too. but that was the past. i'm not sure what i'm doing now?

[NathanDavis]

I do not, never have

[KrakenAttackin]

Yes, you need to make a choice.

[Asker]

I've known those 4 men since childhood. We were little kids at the time. We would play together; we would be like siblings. I have no romantic interest with them. I see them as brother and they see me as a sister.
I can't dump my lifetime friends whom I've know practically most of my life.

[KrakenAttackin]

Asker. Then be respectful and only see them when your SO is present and share texts/messages with your SO.

[Monalisa77]

Thats like walking on eggshells, no thanks

[KrakenAttackin]

@Monalisa77 "Walking on egg shells"... That's because you know this crosses the line.

Have you EVER had any sexual contact with any of these guys... Including blowjobs, handjobs, etc?

[Monalisa77]

No because I've never dated or been near anyone lol i can garuntee they dont like me, they only really talk to me cos i talk to them. Most stop talking to me anyway. If a boyfriend wouldn't be able to trust me then there's no pt being together

[Monalisa77]

there's no chance id screw up anyway since i wouldn't wanna end up being miserable and back to sq 1. If i do get a boyfriend and he's decent i ain't letting go lol and like i say if he sitll dont trust me around other males then that makes me miserable and worrying about who i talk to

[KrakenAttackin]

@Monalisa77 Well, it's your burden to prove to him you can be trusted.

[Monalisa77]

I really dont like the sound of your posts. You dont sound like a caring partner should be like. First excusing abuse now making out like we can't talk to males cos ud be jealous lol conttolling more like

[its_amelia_c]

Major red flag 🚩

[Asker]

I can't just throw away my long-term friends. I've known them practically most of my life. They are like a family too. My parents are friends with their parents too.

[DreamLife7]

Why do you care? Grow up

[straightmax12]

No I wouldn't.