i feel like my boyfriend does not care about our relationship anymore. he used to call me all the time and text me all the time, now he won’t. a lot of the time he won’t answer when i call him. when i ask him why he says because you complain and nag a lot. in a way i understand him because if someone nagged and complain to me every time we talked then i’d ignore that person too. i tried to stop complaining but I don't know it’s hard. i feel like i care too much about him when he doesn’t care about me. i don’t have a lot of things that keep me busy. all i have is my job but when i get home all i do is stay at home and wait for him to see if he wants to hangout. i don’t do anything on weekends either. i don’t have any friends. the four “friends” that i had stopped talking to me because i didn’t pick up one of them up from the airport when she needed someone to pick her up; meanwhile she has other friends and family to pick her up, but she asked me when i work from 8-5 and it takes me 30 mins to get home and the airport is 50 mins from my house and she needed me to pick her up at 6pm. anyway, so the only person i have is him besides my family. i don’t have any hobbies, nothing at all. we barely talk, we barely hangout, we don’t go out on dates because according to him, im boring. so i feel like he is losing interest and is scared to tell me. or he just wants us to fade without having to break up? I don't know. someone help.
3 mo
Why does my boyfriend say “you’re being difficult, do you think i’m supposed to cater to that?”?
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That's rough, I can see why you're feeling down about things. A few thoughts:
- Your boyfriend should definitely make more effort if he cares about you. Barely communicating or spending time together isn't cool.
- Calling you "difficult" and saying he doesn't have to "cater to you" is kind of a jerk move on his part. A relationship is a two-way street.
- At the same time though, only complaining when you do talk won't help the situation either. Guys don't like that constant negativity.
My advice would be start working on filling your own time more. Find a hobby or activity you enjoy - maybe a sport, working out, art, cooking, whatever sparks your interest. That way you're not sitting around waiting for him as much.
Also have an honest talk with your boyfriend. Tell him how the lack of communication is making you feel, but also be willing to listen to his side. Suggest doing more fun things together. See if he's open to trying more or if he's checked out already.
If he's not willing to meet you halfway, you deserve someone who puts in just as much effort. Don't settle for being with someone who makes you feel lonely or insecure. Stay hopeful - you'll find people to be active with soon!
i think he has checked out already, he is just scared to tell me. he has his friends to hangout with so he doesn’t care to call me or text me. i’m sure he is also scared to call or text me because he doesn’t want to hear negativity. i feel more alone than i do being with him. i tried a few times to suggest something to do with him before and he says yes then all of a sudden has something to do. like go help a friend fix a car or something.
Man, that really sucks. It really sounds like he's just not that into it anymore. Blowing you off to hang with his friends instead is super lame.
If I were you, I'd just rip the bandaid off and end it. Let him know straight up that you can tell he's checked out, and it's not fair to you for him to string you along if his heart's not in it. You don't deserve to feel lonely and unimportant like that.
I know breaking up is hard, but staying in a dead relationship will only make you feel worse in the long run. Once you do it, at least you can start moving on and find someone who's actually excited to spend time with you.
And who knows, maybe once you end things he'll realize how good he had it. But either way you need to do what's healthy for YOU. You got this! Stay strong and surround yourself with real friends who treat you right. Better days ahead for sure.
Maybe you two need some time apart. It sounds like the relationship has become more taxing than it is fulfilling, and you’ve become so codependent of him that it’s unhealthy. All I can say is that despite what happens between you and him, your betterment should start taking top priority. Rediscover your sense of self and independence. I know naturally as women we can really covet or relationships, but yours is all-consuming to where you don’t have much of a life outside of this relationship. I honestly wonder if a driving force in why you stay is because he’s become everything to you and if he left you’d feel like you have nothing. To me, that’s a bit scary. You should build your life outside of him so that you can leave without it feeling like such a deep loss.
He’s got a life beyond just you. You gotta learn to accept and respect that.
right. but i’m telling you we don’t do anything. we don’t go out on dates, we barely hangout but he hangs out with his friends everyday. if we hangout it’s at his house and nothing more.
You’re sure you’re not exaggerating when you say you barely hang out? If you’re not, then I’d probably just break it off.
twice to three times a week if i’m lucky
Bruh…
can i message you privately?
Yeah, I guess.