My wife told me I'm replaceable and I had a heart attack, what did I do to deserve this?

[Anonymous]

I (40m) have been married to my wife (31f) for 5 years, and we have known each other for 10. A few weeks ago, we had an argument, and during our disagreement, she told me that I am replaceable. After our argument, she went out with her friends. I have been dealing with some health problems for a while, and the argument stressed me out, leaving me nervous and unwell. I was alone in the house and decided to call the paramedics because I felt that something was really wrong. To sum up, I suffered a heart attack.

In the hospital, they tried to reach my wife, but she didn't respond, likely still upset from our argument. She called later, after coming home, when she found out that I'm not there. After learning of my condition, she came to see me and stayed with me the entire time, constantly crying and holding my hands. After being sent home, she did everything so I could recover faster. However, despite her efforts, I couldn't stop thinking about how she had told me that I'm replaceable. I constantly think about it, I want to confront her about it, but I don't think I'm ready.

Let's also adress the elephant in the room. We had argument about our house, some issues with it, after that we also discussed our priorities, careers and intimacy. At one point discussion was replaced by her venting and saying things not even related to original discussion. I had no issues with her ranting about things until she told me that I'm replaceable.

[lightbulb27]

Wow... scary.

I at one time had a lot of heart pain and stress, at various times in life including relationships, work. I can relate to that pain. I had heart surgery as well long ago, maybe that is related, not sure. Emotional stress is real.

I would wonder about that heart attack... like was it a clog or just really... stress? Under relational stress, I ended up checking into hospital as well. For quite some time at work I was under so much (intentional stress applied by boss) at work I had fluid coming out of my nose. No wonder I don't like stress anymore...

I'm not sure it's really about deserve. You chose her she chose you... that alignment is sub conscious. So if you want to know why, ask your inner child and explore hers how they align.

Each time you are suffering pain... examine those feelings, look for the lessons, look for the childhood wounds to heal. And look for how you can resolve with the person you chose. Part of the challenge is learning to work effectively with them, for every person thinks and communicates differently. I found a big part of the problem is me... and it's the one thing I control... how I think, react, communicate. I had to learn to manage myself and learn to be a better boyfriend/husband. When I made progress there (with lot of help from wife), things been much better. Doesn't go away, I avoid that kind of stress. I will note I had a lot of stress at times during PMS, that was very hard to handle, but either got better changed over time.

Relationally, not clear what is going on in the discussions and where the breakdown is. What a spouse wants to hear is "you are right", "I love you". If she isn't getting what she wants, she's running. Sounds like you have some work to do evaluating this relationship from the ground up. By that I mean... what was the base attraction, what's good, how she feels loved, communication styles, keeping the emotional connection, etc..

[lightbulb27]

replaceable: was she drunk, bad time of the month, etc.. There's factors, you can explore with her what she said, what she meant, why she said it. probably will get angry and deflect. or you can forgive?
Are you replaceable? We'll, there is noone else like you. Can she find someone else, of course. We all can. What she said was really cutting and out of line. It was demeaning of you... like she doesn't respect you. Why is she feeling that way... that is the question.

[smne35]

That's never something any man wants to hear, several things could be in play here. She could be going through. Yes, women go through midlife crisis too menopause yes it kicks in early. You guys need to communicate, open the honestly with each other and try to recognize just what is going on and seek you know. Counseling therapy whatever. If you both feel like the marriages worth it saving because you sound like a good dude. I don't think you don't sound like you to cheat, but she will at some point. I mean she's already there. All she needs to be just pushed just from what she's saying and her behavior. You guys need to communicate openly man. Don't be able to talk. You got to talk man. You can't let this just simmer. Can't put on the back burner. Let it sit there. You need to confront this now. Get to the get to the you know what the real reason is and and work on it from there when you in a relationship should never be afraid. Never have anything that you cannot open me honestly. Unobjectively discuss and you don't have to yell. You guys are grown mature adults. Just no need for yelling. You can no accusations or walk. Go for a drive. Go to the beach. Get into a comfortable settings that both of you are comfortable with and just man pour your feelings out. Just talking. Listen to each other. Not accuse don't point the finger be quiet while each of you talk. Just listen to each other. That's how i would handle it,

[jennifer_bloom]

Humans are not Gods and you must not depend on them the way you would depend on a God. Chances are, she will be loyal to you because she knows you love her and are committed to her, but you can't become suicidal or self destructive if something happens and you guys are no longer together. My grandma died less than 4 years after my grandpa did because she lived with him for so long, she did not know how to be single after he passed. You need to build up your survival. I think getting rejected or ignored by busy people was good for me, every rejection made me stronger, and every rejection taught me to depend on God instead of human beings. You cannot worship your marriage, it is a product of humanity and not of angels. I am not saying its okay to disrespect your covenant but you need to cope with the fact that nothing in life is guaranteed.

[Apple1996]

She might have just said that in the heat of the moment out of anger. And sorry to hear about your heart attack. My mom recently had one without even feeling it happen. They can be tricky to detect so watch out cuz it might happen again. Wife or not take care of yourself. Nothing is worth stressing yourself to death over

[Asker]

I've been told that heart attacks in women are "the silent killer" truly sorry for what happened to your mom.

Thank you for your kindness

[rosemilk]

sorry to hear that! i hope you recover well. put your health first from now on, please

address this "replaceable" statement sooner rather than later. the more it stays unsaid, the more resentment and hate just build up and it's not healthy in the long run. she already holds resentment from what you said about her venting about things unrelated to the fight.

[LazerBean]

Are you the same guy who asked a question about how women never forget? And your wife was bringing up the past and such?

Anyway, it's too bad that the argument ended up like that, y'all definitely need therapy or something.


And I don't know what you did to deserve that. What was the argument about?

[laly520]

truth often slips out when we r mad
im sorry that happened to u
this is so toxic n she is behaving like a narcissist
don't let her words get to u
take care of ur health
stay positive
n get urself mentally prepared for more worse words

[Starrrboy]

Telling you , you're " replaceable " straight to your face... not enough crying and good gestures can fix that.. you don't know what's in her head but honestly things can't be perfectly normal again after what happened.. confront her and judge for yourself..

[Staximus]

You can give yourself a heart attack by letting yourself get stressed out. You have to do whatever you can to stop yourself from wigging out. You may not be able to control or fix the things that are stressing you out, but you can control the way you react. The way you react to them is going to kill you if u don't fix it. When you feel the stress level rising you have to derail that thought process.

[BoopBoopBeep]

You're not special snowflake. Everyone is replaceable. Your last bit about "venting and saying things not even related to original discussion" makes your wife sound kind of like a bitch, and guess what? SHE is replaceable as well.

[JacobJordan]

Well if you are replaceable then replace her and see what happens when she realizes she is alone. She may find someone but she likely won't and then she will come back begging you to forgive her.

[exitseven]

People say stupid things when they are angry. You can have a discussion with her but try not to take everything she said to heart

You both have a second chance at this. It could have had a different outcome

[kyoma]

Bruv she's one selfish woman, she crossed the line, look mate i know one thing, if you let something like this slide she or anyone will take you lightly and prolly never respect you, at least try not to express any emotions and confront her tell her you want divorce tell her to go find a replacement if she apologize then keep her

[WindAtMyBack]

Saying something during an argument doesn't mean much. During arguments people say all kinds of things including things just to be spiteful.

[Twalli]

You say things you don't really mean in the heat of the argument. I doubt she really feels that way or that she knows the effect those words spoken in ang anger affected you. Tell her, but understand that she probably didn't really mean it.

[RossyBoi]

Time to replace her. Or better still just get divorced and stay single.

[aceleon]

dump her sorry ass she is not worth your time.

[slatyb]

Counseling, either together or for yourself alone.

[ChicoFromThe305]

You married the wrong woman is what you did.

[abc3643]

Welcome to marriage.