What are some of the worst ways people self-sabotage in relationships and how can they avoid doing so?

[flower]

[jackdanyells]

Self-sabotage in relationships is like being your own worst enemy, but with a plot twist where you're also trying to be the hero.

Overthinking Everything

Imagine you're watching a movie, and every scene makes you wonder, "What did they mean by that? Was that a sign?" It's like your brain is on a never-ending loop of analyzing texts, looks, and even the emojis they use. Start practicing mindfulness. It's like hitting the pause button on a movie to remind yourself to take things at face value sometimes. Not every "seen" at 2 a. m. is a cryptic message about your relationship's future.

Being a People-Pleaser

Trying to be the Cool Partner™ who's down for anything can backfire. It's like wearing a sweater that's not your style, just because they said they liked it. Suddenly, you're looking in the mirror, and you dont recognize yourself. Start by figuring out what *you* like, what *you* want to do. This is not being selfish, is just considering yourself. It's like choosing the movie you actually want to watch and finding they love it too because your enthusiasm is infectious.

Avoiding Conflict Like It's The Plague

Nobody loves arguments, but imagine you're playing a video game and you skip all the difficult levels. Sure, you might avoid frustration, but you also miss out on growth. Facing conflicts can be healthy; it's about how you play the game. Approach disagreements with the idea of understanding their perspective, not winning the argument. It's like assembling a puzzle together; you're looking for where the pieces fit, not trying to jam them into place.

Holding Onto Past Baggage

Carrying old hurts into new relationships is like filling your phone's storage with photos from 2008. Acknowledge the past, maybe even talk to a friend or a therapist about it, but then make an active decision to not let it dictate your current storyline. It's like starting a new series without assuming it'll end just because the last one did.

Setting Unrealistic Expectations

Picturing your relationship as a highlight reel of rom-com moments is setting the stage for disappointment. It's like expecting every day to be a gourmet meal when sometimes, you just need a simple sandwich. Embrace the ordinary moments; often, they're the most genuine. Communicate your desires and dreams, but also cherish the quiet nights in.

Navigating the pitfalls of self-sabotage is like learning to dance. Sometimes you step on each other's toes, but it's all part of finding your rhythm together. The secret sauce? Communication, authenticity, and a healthy dose of self-reflection. Remember, the goal isn't to never mess up; it's about growing from each misstep and moving forward, together.

[Yannae]

Insecurity, silent treatment, jealousy, not communicating problems, letting social media cloud their judgement, ... They can avoid by thinking for themselves and talking to their partner, working together.

[TenderFantasy]

Or letting their FAMILY decide for THEM who is right for THEM, and not THEMSELVES lol.

[Yannae]

@TenderFantasy O that exists as well, that is such a pity

[Paris13]

I Kinda Did That When I BRoke Off with My Ex but Somehow Now-----We are Back as One, hun... I Needed to VENT. lolxxoo

[blueonblack22]

The following can screw everything up:

• Falling in love with the image of what you think the other person is vs. who they really are.
• Comparing them to your ex. Everyone does this in their heads but never verbally bring up your ex to your new girlfriend/boyfriend unless it’s absolutely necessary. Do not ever openly compare them out loud even if it’s a positive comparison. Because sooner or later it will be a negative comparison (this happened to me). Everyone you date is a unique individual who has both values and faults compared to someone else.
• Testing them out of paranoia/insecurity. If you keep accusing your boyfriend/girlfriend of cheating when they’re not it can eventually drive them to do what you fear most. Reason being is it’s really insulting and disrespectful to be accused of something you are innocent of. It can have a reverse psychology on people.

[jorfan3]

Self-sabotage can happen a lot of ways.

The best way to avoid it is by discussing your fears with your partner, and talking to a therapist.

If I'd done that, I could have avoided a whole slew of issues.

[bobalife]

Simply not having open communications and mutual understanding, not being considerate and taking accountability, selfishness, and not willingly to meet each other in the middle with wants/needs/boundaries/compromises…

[Somoneelse]

Playing the victim-card, overthinking everything, having negative worldview, setting unrealistic expectations, insecurities and thinnking your problems are worse/different than problems of others.

To avoid I think the most important thing is open-communication. Otherwise you're bottling things up till it bursts.

[Claire2002]

The most common thing for me is the insecure, obsessive guy who has to text me 3000 times per day because he's afraid that he would leave him. And guess what? It can become a self-fulfilling prophecy because if he's obsessive I could break up.

[PeachyPie93]

No idea, I just talk and people begin not to like me lol.

[jahaims]

By not dealing with past trauma prior to entering a relationship

[whistlingwh0res]

I think that going to orgy together definitely get in the way of relationship. I mean a lot of people do it but in the end, exclusiveness will survive

[Toya33]

Overthinking everything

[moneymagnet24]

I like flower