Is me wearing heels as a 6’4” woman a good reason for my ex to dump me? Isn’t that a pathetic reason?

Question

My boyfriend (now ex) of a year in a half dumped me because he was embarrassed of having a girlfriend with a masculine height and other harsh things he said. He also was upset with me for wearing heels and he flat out told me i embarrassed him and I didn’t listen to him when he said I don’t need heels I’m tall enough already. I was wearing four inch heels which made me 6’8”. He seemed fine and didn’t care about my heights. He’s 5’7”. I am a 6’4” and he said I was a jerk for doing so and no man wants a big gorilla for a girlfriend/wife.

JoePro_ · Accepted Answer

I wouldn't say it's a "pathetic" reason. I think insecurities can be valid based on personal experience and past traumas, and if you're a concerned partner, you should be sensitive to the needs of your partner.

I would say if you knew he was insecure about his height, or even sensed it a bit beforehand, but still did what you did despite how he might feel or without considering how it makes him feel, then I'd be more concerned about the type of person you are instead of him. However, if this is the first you've heard that he's insecure about his height, and he left without it being a proper discussion, seeking resolution and all that like couples should do (work on things), then he needs to learn to be more communicative. Otherwise, he's going to have difficulty in the relationships he's in.

I don't know about anyone else, but if a girl I was dating had insecurities, and I supposedly care for this girl, even if she never really spelled it out for me, but I had good reason to believe "this thing" was something sensitive for her, if it's something I could avoid saying or doing without changing my authentic self, I'd do it for her because I care. Relationships are give and take. But if you have no give, then maybe relationships aren't really a thing for you.

For instance, if I was dating a heavier weight girl (which I have before), and let's say she's sensitive about her weight, I don't want her to feel bad. Together, she and I might work on a plan of how we might change it, or make life better for her. But when we're out in public, I'm going to do my best to avoid saying or doing something regarding her weight that might draw attention to her, or make her feel insecure about what she's going through. And because relationships are give and take, I expect this treatment in return for any insecurities I might have.

Also, I wouldn't think it's pathetic if she left me because I was (hypothetically) being inconsiderate of her feelings and insecurities. Unless I had a problem with taking personal responsibility for my actions. It would be just desserts for my actions.

Just my two cents.

Oliverlogan263 · Accepted Answer

Wow sis, what a dumbass. His reasons for dumping you are honestly pathetic and kind of misogynistic. A few thoughts:

- Being tall doesn't make you any less feminine or unattractive. Plenty of guys love tall women!

- You weren't hurting anyone by wearing heels. It's your body and if you feel confident, who cares how tall you are?

- His comments about being a "big gorilla" were totally uncalled for and rude. A good partner would never talk to you that way.

- Feeling "embarrassed" by your height is 100% his own insecurity issue, not a reflection on you at all. Kinda immature that he can't handle a few extra inches.

- You deserve someone who loves every part of you - your personality, interests, looks, height, everything! Not someone who seems ashamed.

- Sounds like taking out the trash by dumping this loser is the best thing that could've happened. You'll find someone way better who appreciates you for you.

Don't let his pathetic excuses make you feel bad about yourself for even a second, sis! You're perfect just the way you are - with or without heels. He did you a favor by showing his true colors early on. Chin up - his loss!

PBandJ_Nerd · Accepted Answer

I personally do think it is silly to dump someone over their height (something nobody has control over). But I know when my mom first dated dad she stopped wearing heels since he felt insecure about it.

Finchie40 · Answer

It sounds like he just used that as an excuse to dump you , because if your height bothered him to begin with? he wouldn’t of dated you period. It sounds like he met someone else and has been cheating on you , Usually when people cheat they can’t be honest with their current partner , so they say something rude and disrespectful to give them a reason to dump their partner, because the truth is , they are the piece of shit , most cheaters can’t be honest , so they point fingers at their partner to make themselves feel justified for their selfish actions.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

To what extent did you refuse to compromise because of "principles?"

JacobJordan · Answer

You bring up questions regarding height a hell of a lot and it is always in regards to the guys that keep mistreating you. Why are you continually getting with guys that treat you poorly? Hell where do you meet these clowns? You should consider changing your approach or venue rather than smashing into a brick wall repeatedly

DJB72 · Answer

I don't care how tall you are, heels can be very attractive. If he's so insecure about his masculinity because of your height - something you can't exactly do anything about - that he doesn't feel like a man next to you then that's a "him" problem.

I'm 6' tall. I'm certain I wouldn't feel emasculated next to a girl taller than me. My sense of who I am isn't dependent on how much taller or shorter than my partner I am.

Surely · Answer

He is 5’ 7”. You want to be 6’ 8”! That makes you 13 inches taller than him. The only thing that he could kiss without stretching would be your nipples.
Suppose that he does something that you don’t like. Like maybe not shaving every day and scratching you with his whiskers. Would you demand him to shave or would you except him as he was? Compromise girl!

renodnol32 · Answer

Its a pathetic reason. Its his problem. Not your's. He is the problem. Good riddance to him. It makes my blood boil when i hear how shallow people can be. Height is a natural thing. You were ok with him being short. We don't choose our heights. A tall woman at the end of the day is a normal human being.

BoopBoopBeep · Answer

I don't have a problem with it. I'm 5'9" now, dated a woman who was 6'3 who'd go up to 6" heels. She was also very fit. I'm also not your ex. Why is our opinion more valuable than his was?

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

The not so secret method to getting any straight guy on board with a taller woman.  Just sayin' :)

Berethor · Answer

I don't think that huge women like yourself should be wearing heels, so he has a point.

BCA6010 · Answer

Sounds like an excuse. If your height relative to him was really the issue, then the heels would be irrelevant.

exitseven · Answer

Okay- I really am on your side. However you wearing 4 inch heels is like a fat person wearing horizontal stripes. It is one thing that you are tall but it is another to rub his nose in it

patrick994 · Answer

your ex is a certified imbecile, it's not a good reason to leave the girl for that.

PeterLegg91 · Answer

A big gorilla for a girlfriend 😆 I'm sorry but that was funny :( he has a point why wear heels when your tall enough :) but in all honesty he took the comments too far and shouldn't have been nasty to you :(

FunkyMonkee · Answer

I'm 6' 9". You're still short, to me! I'll take ya! My ex-fiance was 5' 3"! If being shorter than you was such a big deal to him, why did he even start dating you?

JayBones · Answer

Yeah that's a pretty pathetic reason. It is also weird that you would want to wear heels at that height. Why be uncomfortable to appear more tall when you are already tall as fuck?

slatyb · Answer

His own insecurities are talking. Find a man who is happy and proud to be with you.

Unit1 · Answer

Your ex boyfriend is an insecure and pathetic moron. Nothing was lost except a problem. So what if a girl towers over me?

tzdc21 · Answer

Okay, I get having height standards but that was a shitty move on his part with how he said that.

Fireguy17 · Answer

I can only imagine your legs in heels. I would be just fine with that.

ColHathi · Answer

Yeah that's stupid. Also, I know plenty of guys that would love exactly that xD

msc545 · Answer

I hope posting this stuff somehow makes you feel better, because it surely will not solve your problems.

Pterodon · Answer

Wouldn’t have bothered me any. What an insecure jerk

Avicenna · Answer

I'll date you...

Slim57 · Answer

It's crazy to me men like that get dates in the first place. Why date someone you're not into

Anonymous · Answer

you say that you have an ex-boyfriend but you never had sex?

spartan55 · Answer

That's not the real reason he dumped you.

boobliker · Answer

just supper let me see please

dudeinohio · Answer

That's kinda messed up.

Gdude9 · Answer

Yeah that’s pretty petty

jjj101010 · Answer

Not for me, I love a girl in heels

Is me wearing heels as a 6’4” woman a good reason for my ex to dump me? Isn’t that a pathetic reason?

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