Is me wearing heels as a 6’4” woman a good reason for my ex to dump me? Isn’t that a pathetic reason?

[AmazonChick171]

My boyfriend (now ex) of a year in a half dumped me because he was embarrassed of having a girlfriend with a masculine height and other harsh things he said. He also was upset with me for wearing heels and he flat out told me i embarrassed him and I didn’t listen to him when he said I don’t need heels I’m tall enough already. I was wearing four inch heels which made me 6’8”. He seemed fine and didn’t care about my heights. He’s 5’7”. I am a 6’4” and he said I was a jerk for doing so and no man wants a big gorilla for a girlfriend/wife.

[JoePro_]

I wouldn't say it's a "pathetic" reason. I think insecurities can be valid based on personal experience and past traumas, and if you're a concerned partner, you should be sensitive to the needs of your partner.

I would say if you knew he was insecure about his height, or even sensed it a bit beforehand, but still did what you did despite how he might feel or without considering how it makes him feel, then I'd be more concerned about the type of person you are instead of him. However, if this is the first you've heard that he's insecure about his height, and he left without it being a proper discussion, seeking resolution and all that like couples should do (work on things), then he needs to learn to be more communicative. Otherwise, he's going to have difficulty in the relationships he's in.

I don't know about anyone else, but if a girl I was dating had insecurities, and I supposedly care for this girl, even if she never really spelled it out for me, but I had good reason to believe "this thing" was something sensitive for her, if it's something I could avoid saying or doing without changing my authentic self, I'd do it for her because I care. Relationships are give and take. But if you have no give, then maybe relationships aren't really a thing for you.

For instance, if I was dating a heavier weight girl (which I have before), and let's say she's sensitive about her weight, I don't want her to feel bad. Together, she and I might work on a plan of how we might change it, or make life better for her. But when we're out in public, I'm going to do my best to avoid saying or doing something regarding her weight that might draw attention to her, or make her feel insecure about what she's going through. And because relationships are give and take, I expect this treatment in return for any insecurities I might have.

Also, I wouldn't think it's pathetic if she left me because I was (hypothetically) being inconsiderate of her feelings and insecurities. Unless I had a problem with taking personal responsibility for my actions. It would be just desserts for my actions.

Just my two cents.

[Oliverlogan263]

Wow sis, what a dumbass. His reasons for dumping you are honestly pathetic and kind of misogynistic. A few thoughts:

- Being tall doesn't make you any less feminine or unattractive. Plenty of guys love tall women!

- You weren't hurting anyone by wearing heels. It's your body and if you feel confident, who cares how tall you are?

- His comments about being a "big gorilla" were totally uncalled for and rude. A good partner would never talk to you that way.

- Feeling "embarrassed" by your height is 100% his own insecurity issue, not a reflection on you at all. Kinda immature that he can't handle a few extra inches.

- You deserve someone who loves every part of you - your personality, interests, looks, height, everything! Not someone who seems ashamed.

- Sounds like taking out the trash by dumping this loser is the best thing that could've happened. You'll find someone way better who appreciates you for you.

Don't let his pathetic excuses make you feel bad about yourself for even a second, sis! You're perfect just the way you are - with or without heels. He did you a favor by showing his true colors early on. Chin up - his loss!

[PBandJ_Nerd]

I personally do think it is silly to dump someone over their height (something nobody has control over). But I know when my mom first dated dad she stopped wearing heels since he felt insecure about it.

[Finchie40]

It sounds like he just used that as an excuse to dump you , because if your height bothered him to begin with? he wouldn’t of dated you period. It sounds like he met someone else and has been cheating on you , Usually when people cheat they can’t be honest with their current partner , so they say something rude and disrespectful to give them a reason to dump their partner, because the truth is , they are the piece of shit , most cheaters can’t be honest , so they point fingers at their partner to make themselves feel justified for their selfish actions.

[OlderAndWiser]

To what extent did you refuse to compromise because of "principles?"

[AmazonChick171]

What do you mean?

[OlderAndWiser]

Why did you make this so important that you would lose a relationship rather than compromise?

[AmazonChick171]

I did compromised with him several times and he still was so fucking stubborn

[OlderAndWiser]

Other people have insecurities, too. Making compromises to accommodate their insecurities is oart of being in a committed relationship.

[handsomelad70]

Probably, but there aren't many 6'4" women or men, for that matter.(My paternal grandmother was said to be 6'3", but my father was 5'7" and I'm 5'9".)

[JacobJordan]

You bring up questions regarding height a hell of a lot and it is always in regards to the guys that keep mistreating you. Why are you continually getting with guys that treat you poorly? Hell where do you meet these clowns? You should consider changing your approach or venue rather than smashing into a brick wall repeatedly

[AmazonChick171]

I don’t meet guys that disrespect me.

[JacobJordan]

Seriously? "he said I was a jerk for doing so and no man wants a big gorilla for a girlfriend/wife." So either you are lying to everyone about what he said or you are incapable to recognizing disrespect.

[DJB72]

I don't care how tall you are, heels can be very attractive. If he's so insecure about his masculinity because of your height - something you can't exactly do anything about - that he doesn't feel like a man next to you then that's a "him" problem.

I'm 6' tall. I'm certain I wouldn't feel emasculated next to a girl taller than me. My sense of who I am isn't dependent on how much taller or shorter than my partner I am.

[Surely]

He is 5’ 7”. You want to be 6’ 8”! That makes you 13 inches taller than him. The only thing that he could kiss without stretching would be your nipples.
Suppose that he does something that you don’t like. Like maybe not shaving every day and scratching you with his whiskers. Would you demand him to shave or would you except him as he was? Compromise girl!

[renodnol32]

Its a pathetic reason. Its his problem. Not your's. He is the problem. Good riddance to him. It makes my blood boil when i hear how shallow people can be. Height is a natural thing. You were ok with him being short. We don't choose our heights. A tall woman at the end of the day is a normal human being.

[BoopBoopBeep]

I don't have a problem with it. I'm 5'9" now, dated a woman who was 6'3 who'd go up to 6" heels. She was also very fit.

I'm also not your ex. Why is our opinion more valuable than his was?

[Berethor]

I don't think that huge women like yourself should be wearing heels, so he has a point.

[BCA6010]

Sounds like an excuse. If your height relative to him was really the issue, then the heels would be irrelevant.

[AmazonChick171]

What the hell do you mean an excuse

[exitseven]

Okay- I really am on your side. However you wearing 4 inch heels is like a fat person wearing horizontal stripes. It is one thing that you are tall but it is another to rub his nose in it

[AmazonChick171]

I did not rub it in his nose. I wore them because I wanted to feel sexy and confident. Also show that tall women can rock heels but we get shit for it.

[exitseven]

I don't think he saw it that way. I may have thought the same thing

[TheSpaceGnome]

The not so secret method to getting any straight guy on board with a taller woman.

Just sayin' :)

[TheSpaceGnome]

And yes, your ex is an idiot for dumping you over high heals for that reason, a better reason is because high heals are dangerous to walk in and you could fall and break your neck.

[Unit1]

Hahaha, yeah, I love this too!

[TheSpaceGnome]

@Unit1 As any true man of culture would.

[Unit1]

That's what I'm talking about. Boobs are the essence of life.

[TheSpaceGnome]

@Unit1 Quite literally (for us mammals anyway).

And they make great pillows.

[Unit1]

Yes! I love getting girls boobs in my face and to lay on them. It's so much easier when the girl is tall enough to land our face onto her boobs.

[patrick994]

your ex is a certified imbecile, it's not a good reason to leave the girl for that.

[patrick994]

your ex is a certified dump

[AmazonChick171]

No shit. Plus I’m sick of people saying tall women can’t wear heels. Society is pathetic!

[patrick994]

In fact I agree with you

[AmazonChick171]

I appreciate it

[FunkyMonkee]

I'm 6' 9". You're still short, to me! I'll take ya! My ex-fiance was 5' 3"!
If being shorter than you was such a big deal to him, why did he even start dating you?

[JayBones]

Yeah that's a pretty pathetic reason. It is also weird that you would want to wear heels at that height. Why be uncomfortable to appear more tall when you are already tall as fuck?

[AmazonChick171]

So tall women aren’t allowed to wear heels but short and average height women can? Tall women can wear heels as much as shorter women can.

[JayBones]

Where did I say they weren't allowed. Every girl I have ever met HATES wearing heels. I'd be hard pressed to remember a night were they ended the night still wearing them. Why would a tall girl want to wear them when there only purpose was to make short girls look taller?

[PeterLegg91]

A big gorilla for a girlfriend 😆 I'm sorry but that was funny :( he has a point why wear heels when your tall enough :) but in all honesty he took the comments too far and shouldn't have been nasty to you :(

[AmazonChick171]

yeah he should not have said that.
And what are you saying that he’s right, tall women should never wear heels? That’s bullshit. Shorter women wear heels but they don’t get garbage for it.

[PeterLegg91]

Shorter women with heels is okay cos they're short , but tall women wearing heels is stupid 😆

[tzdc21]

Okay, I get having height standards but that was a shitty move on his part with how he said that.

[slatyb]

His own insecurities are talking. Find a man who is happy and proud to be with you.

[handsomelad70]

Like Shaq or Victor Wembenyama.

[Unit1]

Your ex boyfriend is an insecure and pathetic moron. Nothing was lost except a problem.

So what if a girl towers over me?

[Fireguy17]

I can only imagine your legs in heels.
I would be just fine with that.

[ColHathi]

Yeah that's stupid. Also, I know plenty of guys that would love exactly that xD