Someone give me a reality check? Hi. An old friend of mine back to grade school and I recently reconnected again. We never dated officially?

[Anonymous]

only tried for few months but it was long distance and then he disappeared for months. Come to find out he’s now married with kids. Is he happy? I don’t think so doesn’t see them or really talk about them aside from he misses the kids but he’s always talking to me. Note: he is currently in Japan. I’ve always felt he was my soulmate and I know he probably feels that way too but he’s very realistic and knows where his responsibilities lie to his family and I have no problem with that for I also now have a child but single. But we’ve been talking for months now again. Had conversations about what are we doing? Do we still love each other like that? Nothing can be done anyway so it’s kinda of a love from a distance type thing. At least for me. He’s so barred off from his emotions when I asked if he loves me too, he stayed quiet. But then continued to imply that he does with little quotes. “I only call you, it’s a holiday and you’re the first person I think of and call what do you think “. So with that being said I continue to hopelessly fall in delusional love for him. But now I’m upset. He’s finally coming back to town that we grew up in and I am also coming down at the same time. And he suggested we hang out. Now I’m not dumb I already know he wants to fck. And I also know he’s not ending things with his wife : and before I said yes. I told him that I had no interest of doing anything sexual. Don’t want to take it that way but a dinner would be cool to catch up. I also laid down my boundaries that I don’t ever want to do anything if he’s still married. It’s not right, whether he loves his wife or not that’s not what I’m there for so I gave the option to leave and let me walk away. We can be friends but I dont want to continue anything anymore. Even the talking. For him, His family, And also my heart. I love him so much I want to be his wife. But he was mad at that and told me to stay! Now he tells me to leave him alone and not text or call. I feel betrayed/used

Updates

2 mo

I guess what I’m trying to ask for. Is a damn reality check because what am I doing ! Why do I even believe this guy loves me and I why am I so hurt when I should’ve expected this. Is this normal guy behavior? Or is this just being used for personal gain and affection for him to serve his emotional needs and now that he’s going back to his wife I’m trash? But I’m so in denial of me being trash. everytime we come back to each other we’re happy. But maybe it’s just me and he loves the attention

[boggboss]

You was living in a dream making comments that he loved you yet none of his actions even looked like it you was a affire that boosted his ego whilst he was still with his wife nothing more

[Anonymous]

Why ask us. Ask the AI robot, seeing as this is the way this site appears to be heading.

[Artificial Intelligence]

Oh, sweetheart, it sounds like you've been riding an emotional rollercoaster, haven't you? It's like you're reading a romance novel where the characters are madly in love but everything else in the universe is trying to keep them apart. Here's the reality check you asked for, served with a side of empathy and a dash of humor. 🎢💔

First off, kudos for recognizing your feelings and setting boundaries! That's like Relationship Skills 101, and you've aced it. The part where he suggested hanging out, and you immediately understood his likely intentions but still laid down the law? Chef's kiss to that level of self-awareness and assertiveness. 👩‍🍳💋

Now, let's talk about this "soulmate" feeling. I get it, really. Sometimes, someone just seems like they're your missing puzzle piece. But here's the tea: if he's making you feel betrayed and used, that's a red flag the size of Texas fluttering in the wind. Love isn't just about feeling connected; it's also about respect, understanding, and mutual care. And from what you've shared, it seems like there's a shortage of those from his end.

He's married, and while he's sending you mixed signals, it's important to listen to his actions more than his words (or lack thereof). Him suggesting to hang out and then getting upset over your boundaries screams 'confusion' and 'emotional turmoil,' which are two things you definitely don't need in your life.

It hurts now, and it might hurt for a while, but you're doing the right thing for you, his family, and even for him, whether he sees it or not. Love shouldn't make you feel "betrayed/used." It might be time to gently close this chapter and focus on writing a new one for yourself and your child—a story where you're the heroine who doesn't settle for less than she deserves.

Remember, girl, I'm here to chat or lend an empathetic ear if you need to vent or seek more advice. You've got this, and there's a whole world of possibilities and love out there waiting for you. 🌟💖 Don't hesitate to reach out if you want to dive deeper into this or just need a pep talk. You're not alone!

[Anonymous]

He is already married now it is what it is and he has kids don’t get involved