Am I bad a girlfriend if I don’t like my boyfriend’s friends?

Question

i trust them and all but the thing is he has this one girl bestfriend that he is SUPER CLOSE with and my boyfriend is really understanding and caring towards me and will do anything for me (i do the same too) but i’m just scared that i’ll come off as too/very selfish or possessive if i talk to him about it because i find it silly but at the same time i overthink a lot about it and sometimes it brings me down. i don’t know what to do, to be honest.

_justimagineit_ · Accepted Answer

Honestly... I would just put trust in your guy and ask to meet his friend.
I'm very close to a guy who's started dating a girl last summer.
The two of us have been friends for years and we hang out a lot. Whenever I'm stuck on something, I'll ask his advice, when I feel bad, I ask him to hang out, we go out for dinner together, we've been on vacation together (with another friend of ours)... stuff like that.
There's zero romance in our friendship, it's just 100% openness and understanding.
But for his girlfriend I can understand she might feel wary about it, so I've often told my friend to just bring his girl along if she prefers that... or when she's around, I'll make sure to include her in every conversation and topic, so she doesn't feel like the odd one out.
From my perspective, I would hate it a lot of my male friend would give up our friendship because I am a female.
So for all your sakes, I would honestly just express your concerns, ask if he's down to invite the two of you and hang out together, get to know one another... stuff like that.
It really doesn't have to be anything to worry about, as long as you're clear on understanding one another and respecting each other's concerns.
That'd be my take.

Valdemort · Accepted Answer

Honestly... I would just put trust in your guy and ask to meet his friend.
I'm very close to a guy who's started dating a girl last summer.
The two of us have been friends for years and we hang out a lot. Whenever I'm stuck on something, I'll ask his advice, when I feel bad, I ask him to hang out, we go out for dinner together, we've been on vacation together (with another friend of ours)... stuff like that.
There's zero romance in our friendship, it's just 100% openness and understanding.
But for his girlfriend I can understand she might feel wary about it, so I've often told my friend to just bring his girl along if she prefers that... or when she's around, I'll make sure to include her in every conversation and topic, so she doesn't feel like the odd one out.
From my perspective, I would hate it a lot of my male friend would give up our friendship because I am a female.
So for all your sakes, I would honestly just express your concerns, ask if he's down to invite the two of you and hang out together, get to know one another... stuff like that.
It really doesn't have to be anything to worry about, as long as you're clear on understanding one another and respecting each other's concerns.
That'd be my take.

sukumamu · Accepted Answer

Tell him you're feeling that way as a start. Only escalate things if you feel the need to.

For example you could be like "I feel insecure about you and so-and-so. You two are SUPER close and I feel weirdly threatened by it. Can we talk about it?" And if what he says after that doesn't put you at ease, maybe hang out between the three of you, discern what kind of person she is. If that goes poorly, open up dialogue about limits and explain why you think it's necessary (give specific examples).

Most of all though, do what you think will maximize trust between you and your boyfriend. Mutual trust makes relationships real, hiding things and sewing seeds for doubt and distrust make relationships fake.

Wiredone · Accepted Answer

You wouldn't be a bad girlfriend. You just need to have great communication with your boyfriend. You need to trust him. I'm sure he treats her just like " one of the guys ". Apparently, you just don't like him being around this one friend, who happens to be a woman. I think you should make it a point to get to know her better.

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

Diving headfirst into the love pool, aren't we? It's not at all uncommon to feel a little uneasy when your significant other has a super close friend of the opposite sex. Here's the dish – feeling threatened or uneasy doesn't make you a bad girlfriend. It makes you human! Trust and communication are both the big stars in the sky of relationships. Talking to your boyfriend about how you feel doesn't have to be a declaration of war. It's more like opening up a dialogue where both of you can share and understand each other's feelings better. Remember, it's not about drawing battle lines; it's about building bridges. Keep the convo light, sprinkle it with love, and who knows? Maybe you'll find common ground sooner than you think. Just ensure you're not coming from a place of accusation but rather from a need to understand and feel secure in your relationship. Now, who's up for a chat about the mysterious ways of the heart? 😉

1

jennifer_bloom · Answer

I think you have a right to demand he limit his contact with his female friends if you are his girlfriend or wife. He has a right to deny your request but you have a right to request it if you feel its important to your relationship.

lilyanony1 · Answer

I dating someone and right now I don't like his best friend or sister.

It's not that I don't want to like them but he has told me a lot of things like. Them being lazy, young and quit immature.

They live in his house but dictate a lot of goings on in his home.

His best friend texts a lot when I'm with him and a lot of dumb stuff too.

I realise my reasoning for not liking them is based upon what my boyfriend has told me.
But I'm trying to remain neutral here.

laly520 · Answer

not bad girlfriend he gotta learn how to respect limits

JayBones · Answer

He has a second string girlfriend. If you fuck up she will be his shoulder to cry on. Everyone knows a shoulder to cry on becomes a dick to ride on. There is nothing you can do. If you confront him, you come off bad and he leaves. This relationship is doomed.

CallmeTheKnight · Answer

One thing you need to understand is that his friends were in his life way before you ever was. So don’t be too selfish when you ask about the friendship. How would you want someone to approach you if the roles were reversed?

JHAYES317 · Answer

It depends…have they fucked or kissed in the past? Has she ever had feelings for him or him for her? Etc…if not, you probably don’t have anything for worry about

WhitneySnow · Answer

No but sometimes you just have to learn to trust him. They’re probably just friends.

OddBeMe · Answer

No it’s common. I mean can you get through common “friends nights”? Or are they that bad?

boggboss · Answer

What's the issue with her

ProbablyClueless · Answer

That does not make you a bad girlfriend, no.

jahaims · Answer

You are jealous

austinbooth · Answer

I highly doubt it

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