Should love towards a partner be unconditional or conditional?

[Anonymous]

[sawno]

I do not believe unconditional love exists, actually had a disagrement with a former lover about that one but she understood where I was coming from so she didn't mind it. She very much wanted unconditional love from me, but its not something i'd ever be capable of giving.

Sounds harsh? It isn't, its realistic. The condition for my love is that the partner stays true to themselves and wouldn't do something I could never imagine them doing that I would be firmly against. Her being herself is the only condition, no do X or I leave type stuff of course. So it will feel like unconditional love, and my love isn't different from those claiming they love someone unconditionally.

The difference however is that I acknowledge that if you commited a truly evil act such as grabbing a gun and point blank shooting someone dead just to feel what it is like I would not love you anymore.

[Summeroflove]

Conditional to a point. I think if someone is cheating on you, being abusive, or it’s one sided where you’re putting all the effort in and your partner isn’t. I think that it’s best to break the relationship off.

I feel like if two people love one another and choose to get married. That through sickness, health, financial problems, and everything like that they should love one another through it. But like I said there are exceptions for cheating, abuse, one sidedness, etc.

[nessiee01]

That’s a very good question. I loved my most recent ex boyfriend unconditionally, I trusted him enough not to hurt me. I say loving unconditionally is beautiful when you are certain you will make it through the heartbreak and separation if it ever occurs. You can love unconditionally and still choose to love them from a distance for your own well being. So yes, I say love towards a partner should be unconditionally especially if you feel safe with that person. Conditions only apply out of fear I believe, and well it’s not bad but it’s also not good.. as well as I understand too why loving unconditionally has its cons and pros. for me personally, loving unconditionally is my go too always. Being careful with people who are not able to reciprocate is definitely important, loving someone unconditionally only occurs when you feel safe. Just my opinion.

[Asker]

Bang on

[Vesuvius87]

The only type of unconditional love should be a parent towards their child or me towards my mother. For everyone else (including siblings, though more flexible with them but still has conditions) there should be boundaries and requirements to be met, conditions placed.

If I were unconditional with my first ex boyfriend, I would be still with him even after realizing he was a narcissist-sociopath that faked an entire future, lied about wanting marriage and kids and scammed me with over $1,200. My family and I have obviously blocked him on all social medias and number phone. No way I'm going to still love a partner unconditionally after that.

Unconditional is exactly what the words means, that you'll allow them in your life and be there for them no matter what, even if they hurt you so badly or betrayed your trust.

[Asker]

That sounds awful. Must be such a breathe of fresh air knowing you'll never be in that situation again

[Vesuvius87]

Thank you. He's out of my life and will never be welcome nor even acknowledged ever again. I've also learned never to give money ever again.

[Asker]

I've been with crazy and manipulation too never again

[Artificial Intelligence]

Aiming to sprinkle a little love wisdom your way! When it comes to the heart-pounding, butterfly-inducing world of love, I'd say it's like dancing under a sky full of stars—beautiful but complex. Love towards a partner often starts with a spark, transforming into a deeply rooted tree over time. Should it be unconditional or conditional, you ask? Love, my friend, thrives on a bit of both. Unconditional love is the soil, nourishing and supporting, yet boundaries (conditions) are the strong branches that keep the relationship healthy and balanced. Think of it as a dance where both partners lead and follow, creating a harmony of give and take. So, lace up those dancing shoes and find the rhythm that works for you both! 💫

[Sonorous]

I believe it's impossible for love to not be conditional. And that if someone believes their love for another person isn't conditional, then they aren't considering all aspects involved.

[Apple1996]

Real love is unconditional

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

At least truth should be a condition as I see it between two adults, since we can't truly love (at least in a way that goes beyond a universal love for human beings) what we don't know. If someone deceives us about who they are, they we have come to love someone they're not.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

[*] [...] [then] we have come to love someone they're not.

Unconditional love makes sense to me from parents to children and pet owners to pets.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

... since parents should not abandon their children under any circumstance, and pet owners the same for their pets, at least in my book. If a child misbehaves, it's the parents' fault or at least not the child's fault. If a pet misbehaves, it's the owner's fault or at least not the pet's fault.

Yet between adults, there are always practical conditions. For example, I gave a vow when I married my wife that I would stay faithful to her, and her to me. That's a condition.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

I also see love as ultimately a responsibility, not a feeling. At least it's only practical that way. Someone who claims to love their house while allowing it to become a complete mess and deteriorate with leaky ceilings doesn't seem to be anything different from someone who hates their house, so I have little practical use for the feeling if it isn't governed by responsibility.

So the reason I don't believe in unconditional love between adults is that adults are ultimately responsible for themselves, unlike children or pets. If my wife cheats on me, that's her fault, not mine, and same if I cheat on my wife, it's my fault, not hers. So I don't think our responsibility towards each other should be unconditionally based, because we're ultimately responsible for our own actions. We're responsible for each other so long as we abide by conditions, like not cheating on each other, not setting the house on fire, not lying to each other about who we are, etc.

[sheenagwapa]

people keep miscontruing but if they just listen it's all in there. i love hatd. if i am with you trust me my goal is for us to be together forever. i am highly faithful and i actually don't know how to flirt. but just because i love hard that doesn't mean i cannot move on. it's easy for me to move on. Truth!

[PBandJ_Nerd]

For me it'd be unconditional love. But others might say different.

[Asker]

seeing your username made me get some peanut butter

[PBandJ_Nerd]

That's funny. 🥜

[Anonymous]

Neither. It should be reciprocal. Unconditional sounds nice. But let's be realistic. That probably isn't happening. Common sense applies. You get what you give. And if you give and do not get you probably should choose a better partner next time.

[sage2021]

It should be unconditional but in the real world, anymore it isn't.

[Vesuvius87]

Being faithful is already a condition.

[Elena_Stewart]

It should be unconditional, like a mother's love for her baby😊

[Billlewis]

I think for women, it should absolutely be conditional, and predicated on her receiving what she wants and needs from the relationship. I also believe that most guys are likely to love their girlfriends unconditionally, which I always do.

[slatyb]

All love is conditional. There is always something someone could do to lose their partner's love.

[KittygosMeoWW]

Both… weird to explain but they should hold you accountable but also be there when you need them the most.

[exitseven]

Unconditional. love knows no boundaries.

[SolitarySolace]

Should be unconditional but it never is, is it?

[NathanDavis]

it should be genuine...

[strateguy632]

conditional, always need limits.

[KrakenAttackin]

Unconditional love does not exist.