How normal is it to steal someone’s partner?

[Anonymous]

Just curious🤔

[Explorer91]

No not normal. But from what I have heard from a lot of people over the last decade is...80 percent of the time the married person says they are separated. This is how it starts. I had a friend who thought the guy was seperated and after 12 months found out he was fully married. She had fallen so in love with this guy at this point it was very hard for her to walk away so she kept being with him. I also had a mate contact me the other night basically so pissed off. He was having casual sex with a woman for a few months. He started to really like her. He found out she was married. She told him once again she was separated. The person who cheats always denies they ever said this. So it always looks like the other person who persued the "married person". This is what I have seen with a lot of friends. A lot of people who aren't single pretending they are.

[laly520]

not normal at all

its so wrong

[Asker]

Agreed!

[Drew-1990]

It is sadly normal. I tried when I was younger and dumber, not to cheat but get them to break up with their boyfriend for me, it's not something I look back at proudly. I think it's just selfish honestly. I would not want a guy to steal a girl from me, it hurts and has happened to me she wasn't my girlfriend but I wanted to badly go out with her and the guy who got her completely screwed me over and took my chance away, so why would I do it to someone else. But sadly so many only care about themselves and do it.

[Asker]

Thank you for being open and sharing your story.

[Drew-1990]

Your welcome, it was more making the point that people can be selfish jerks and stealing a girl or guy is just wrong in my experience.

[Asker]

You are right about that, friend. What prompted me to ask this question was a conversation I was having with a young lady who has been flirting heavily with a man she knows is married and wanting things to progress. In the midst of me trying to tell her how horrible and desperate basically being a side piece is, she said “it’s normal to steal partners, where the hell have you been”. My jaw nearly dropped because she was so proud! The crazy thing about it is that I know she’d never want to be in his wife’s shoes potentially being cheated on, yet is so passive about being an accessory to his cheating. People like her have been done wrong in the past so they don’t care about destroying relationships and being homewreckers, it’s all about them and self-serving.

[Drew-1990]

People like her are hypocritical and selfish. I don't like stealing period dating, engaged or married but I will say this it's one thing if you're dating stage, still don't agree, but a married person is just wrong on so many more levels.

[Asker]

I couldn’t agree more! If this were a dating stage and he was exploring his options then this would be totally fine, but the fact that he’s not even just in a relationship but married is insane.

[Drew-1990]

Agree, still hurts period no matter the stage so it should be avoided but 100% should be avoided once your married and made vows heck engaged is still pretty bad because a promise has been made. I will never attempt to steal a girl at any stage, I would turn down a married or engaged women no matter what, I MAY if she has a boyfriend but it will be her idea completely not me trying to steal and I would refuse to do anything till she breaks up with the guy first.

[tierrlamé]

thats a psycopathic/narcisstic behaviour. Its more common for people with higher bodycounts and in teh adult industry to act in that behaviour. So it depends on the area. If you walk into a strip club and find a couple there its probblaby gonna be 10x more likely than at a traditional christian married couple household. :)

[Asker]

Very insightful!

[Pinay_ako]

Can’t steal a person without their consent. If he did it with you, your turn is next.

[Asker]

Sooo true!

[OlderAndWiser]

Rather normal for scoundrels and scallywags.

[Asker]

Agreed👍

[slatyb]

It's not possible to steal someone's partner as people don't own their partners. People leave relationships for various reasons, and one is meeting someone that they like better than their current partner.

[Asker]

Agreed, you cannot steal a person as people are not property. I guess the question is about the verbiage in general. What would you say for a person who is pursuing someone, knowing they’re in a relationship but they choose to validate their decision by saying it’s normal to steal a person? Aka, normal to destroy relationships?

[slatyb]

Third parties don't destroy relationships. People leave relationships.

[Asker]

And third parties Invade those relationships to destroy them. This is not an innocent act, they are guilty along with the cheater.

[slatyb]

Guilty of what exactly? You didn't say anything about cheating until now.

[Asker]

What else would I be talking about? This whole post is about whether or not it’s normal to be faithful in a relationship, aka cheating.

[slatyb]

Normal? Some people cheat, some would never. Are you asking if cheating is ethical?

[Asker]

Quite literally just use of the word “normal” to justify cheating within a relationship.

[IslaTheWitch]

stealing is not normal, but it's different with partners. You know, your partner had to agree to it. The question is, why?

[Asker]

I wonder about this too, Isla. I know there are open relationships and if that is the agreement with the couple, I can’t relate but good for them. However in the context that the girlfriend/boyfriend doesn’t know, and the woman partaking in this cheating finds it “normal”, I wonder in what world is this normalized amongst the masses? To think pursuing a married man is such a casual, carefree thing? It blows my mind.

[IslaTheWitch]

Look at it from a different perspective. HE IS A MAN IN A RELATIONSHIP. What other people do - men or women - shouldn't matter to him because he is in the relationship and should take care of his partner.

And yes, we can judge others, or blame them... but still, this man is in the relationship ffs...

[Asker]

Of course, he’s the one with the commitment and not the person who’s being a side piece. I take no blame from him whatsoever, he actually gets the most of it. On the other hand, where is the respect for boundaries when it comes to the woman who is partaking? The woman who knows full well she’d never want to be cheated on or done wrong? Yet still choosing to potentially turn someone else’s relationship into her own? It’s trifling on her end and just disgusting as a whole.

[IslaTheWitch]

Focusing on other people makes no sense; we can never guess their motivations, thoughts, and reasons.

[Asker]

There isn’t a focus on other people, or any specific person in general. It’s simply taking notice of how wrong this “normalization” of “stealing” partners is.

[Billlewis]

Guys usually know that they don't have to steal my mistress; they can just start seeing her right in front of me.

[Asker]

Top tier response😂

[JayBones]

It's impossible. You can't steal someone's partner unless they are already one foot out and not a partner.

[Asker]

Apparently it is possible, her exact excuse for pursuing a man she knows is married is that it’s “normal” to steal partners. I know people aren’t property and you can’t steal partners but it’s the idea that she does not mind invading relationships for her own gain.

[Asker]

We both know she wouldn’t want to be in the girlfriends shoes being cheated on, but partakes in this.

[OtterMan68]

unless you kidnap someone, you're not stealing them. If they leave their SO for you, it's their choice, not yours

[Asker]

Agreed! What would you say to a person who chooses to pursue someone whom they know is taken, and their justification for this is “where I live it’s normal to steal partners”?

[OtterMan68]

obviously that's wrong, and the man she's pursuing needs to tell her to back off

[Peridot25]

Unfortunately, people are normalizing this shit more nowadays.

[Asker]

Unfortunately!

[Anonymous]

Is it normal? Most likely no.
Is it socially accepted lately to do to others? Yes.

[Asker]

Man, I’m so glad that majority of society does NOT normalize this madness. No you can’t own a person but to pursue someone knowing they have a partner and act like it’s totally normal is just absurd.

[Kaneki05]

Normal and people who react bad to it don't have much logic.
They blame the other person who wasn't the one who committed to a relationship and decided to cheat.. yeah cause that makes sense... not.
You can only blame the cheater as they are the ones who cheated no one else.

[Asker]

Being an accomplice to cheating is no better my friend. Tell me, how does a woman invade someone’s relationship, wreck it, and expect that man to treat her better and never cheat? The answer is simple — she’d never want to be in that woman’s shoes, getting played behind her back. So why would she do to someone what she’d never want done to herself.

The way that you’re thinking is as someone who’s clearly been played in the past, and now every woman in your future has to pay.

[Kaneki05]

I don't act like anything. Just simple logic.
If I bought a knife from a shop and stabbed someone that shop I bought the knife from ain't at fault. I am the solo responsible for that act.
Acting like other people are the problem for your own actions is dumb. You cheating, is you cheating. Not someone made you cheat that other person don't factor in at all with what you decided to do.

[Asker]

Correct, and the person involved in the cheating is just as guilty. They don’t get a clean past just because they weren’t committed to someone.

[Kaneki05]

Actually they do because they did nothing wrong.
What's wrong about been single and having sex with someone?
If that person turns out to be taken that's on them for cheating but never on you because you obviously didn't cheat. It's not 2 people cheating unless they both have their own partners, it's only one cheating.
One committing the crime.

[Kaneki05]

It's also acting like there isn't millions of other randoms they could of cheated with. So what random makes it matter more than another?

[Asker]

The moment you know that the person is taken and you choose to continue on, it’s wrong. You’re doing shit that you would be crushed if it were done to you. Having a moral compass, a bit of consideration and compassion for another person are what decent people do. Trash individuals are those who purposely pursue people in relationships, and if you disagree with that then that’s cool, I’m not gonna fight you on it. You have your beliefs and I have mine.

[Asker]

Everything you’re saying are just excuses to be a shitty person who cares only for their own gain. It’s disgusting. If sex is so whatever, why not go screw one of the millions of single people rather than be a homewrecker? Makes no sense other than being selfish af.

[Kaneki05]

But that's my point it's your own illogical beliefs that consider that person bad when logically that person wasn't the cheater and didn't do anything.

If you can't see the difference between the committed to a relationship who lied and went behind the one they so called love back compared to single person who decided to sleep with someone then you are missing a gap of logic I can't begin to fathom.

[Kaneki05]

The point is it don't matter who they sleep with. Single or not they aren't the one cheating lmao.

[Kaneki05]

Hell I even make a more a controversial take but logically true you should actually thank that person because if they show that you partner is a cheater you are saved from finding that on later down the line.
So the sooner a person comes along to test them the better it is for you because if your partner passes then you know they are faithful.

[Asker]

If that’s the “point” you draw to give yourself peace of mind then that’s fantastic. But many do not agree, the comments alone should tell you that much. There is no right or wrong answer to this question, it’s about your moral beliefs only, and you believe no blame goes to the side person, it’s solely on the cheater in your world and that’s fine. I believe it’s morally wrong, selfish and disgusting. Just because they aren’t the ones cheating they are still an accessory to it which is no better. If you disagree then that’s weird but it’s your choice dude. I hope you have that energy if ever you have a girlfriend leave you for another man she’s been seeing behind your back for weeks and months.

[Asker]

Why the hell would someone come along to “test” a person who’s married anyway? The whole point here is that logic is fucked.

[Kaneki05]

A cheater is going to cheat no matter what. You seem to not understand this. if a girlfriend cheated on me you think I go around blaming the guy saying damn he must of tricked her somehow? No I go well she's a cheater so would of happened at some point don't matter who the guy was.
And the sooner the better as the longer you commit to a cheater the worse.
So I would happy thank that guy if he proved to me she's a cheater before we ever got married, but even if married why would I want my one life long partner to be a cheater so again it's a blessing to find out.

[Kaneki05]

I mean if you want to live in a world in which your partner never gets a single temptation so he never got a chance to cheat therefore you never knew if he would or not given the chance then that's your ignorance is bliss. Myself I don't find such ignorance as bliss. I would rather know.

[Asker]

Sigh. Of course a cheater is going to cheat no matter what, it is wrong of them and it’s wrong of the person they cheated with. Would I go harm or confront the side woman? Would I blame her for what’s happened? Absolutely not, but I won’t see her as faultless either if she knew he was in a relationship or married. It’s not just sex for her or him, if they’ve been at it for a while then that person wants more. They want to obtain that person for themselves, and do not care about the other party who is going to have their soul crushed. It’s morally wrong, and I stand behind that doesn’t matter what else you say. If you think it’s an innocent notion I think it’s weird but it just speaks to your selfish character. It shows you lack consideration for anyone but yourself, and karma doesn’t reward those kinds of people, so I’m sure you are single.

[Asker]

Lmao sir, why wouldn't I want to live in a world where my partner doesn’t get temptations to cheat? Lol this is not a concern of mine anyway because he is not selfish, if he wanted someone else he would just leave me, as I would him.

[Asker]

You’re acting as if there should be an expectation from the beginning that your partner would cheat, otherwise there wouldn’t need to be “proof”, the word itself suggests you’ve had suspicions.

[Kaneki05]

It's funny when someone mentions Karma but then is been directly digging and mean to the other person with the whole 'so I’m sure you are single' line.
But hey at least you won't go harm the other person or blame them so your a bit better than some who claim to have the same moral high ground as you, not by much but it's something.

[Asker]

Yeah, if that’s your idea of funny then we don’t share a sense of humor. We also don’t share personal views regarding this topic and that’s totally fine. Saying you’re single isn’t me taking a petty dig as you tried to do with that last line, it’s just an observation based off the way you view relationships, ruining them and neglecting boundaries. If you’re ready to pursue a woman who’s already in a relationship, the universe just doesn’t reward that behavior. I don’t make the rules.

[Kaneki05]

"This is not a concern of mine anyway because he is not selfish, if he wanted someone else he would just leave me, as I would him." Yeah everyone thinks that until they cheat. People aren't expecting their partner to cheat yet it happens all the time so a bit illogical to not at least think it could happen right?
And not saying you should auto-assume they will cheat. Just saying if they ever do I am thankful for the other person pointing out they are a cheater sooner than later.

[Asker]

So you got cheated on, or you cheated?

[Kaneki05]

Well it came across as a petty dig but things do get mistaken especially through online messages so maybe it wasn't just felt that way for sure to me.

[Kaneki05]

Respectfully you don't know anything about how I view or am in a relationship. So you can make an observation but it's going to be wrong as you don't know much about me or any of that.

[Asker]

I don’t know you to make any digs. Just as I asked if you were cheated on or if you cheated, I think your answer to that question would make your mindset make a lot more sense.

[Kaneki05]

I've been cheated on before yeah. Twice but they also had Bpd which was a factor for sure. Tbh I don't even really blame them cheating cause Bpd is a messy thing and I try to be more understanding. Though it did of course ruin things.

[Asker]

I feel like the fact that you have been cheated on is why you feel this way. Someone didn’t respect your relationship, so why should you have any care for someone else’s? You’d think that having experienced the pain of being cheated on, you wouldn’t want to partake in putting someone else through that. Again, this is about morals at the end of the day and whether or not you feel it’s fine for someone to be a homewrecker. If you feel like it’s a blessing in disguise and you’re grateful to have been cheated on then hey, no judgement from me.

[Kaneki05]

Also to be very clear I've never been someone homewrecking at you put it. So I am not defending it out of some selfish reason to make myself look better. I wouldn't cheat nor ideally ever want to be involved with someone who's already got something going on.
And I do think you try to then yeah it won't be successful anyway, getting a cheater to cheat with you likely will just lead to them cheating you so you are right the universe don't reward that behavior.

It's not as if I am promoting the idea for myself to do it. I am just saying it really don't matter me to me because the thing that mattered was my partner cheating not whom it was with.

[Asker]

Respectfully, even if you aren’t promoting it for yourself to do it, the fact that you’re tomo ting it period is what’s the issue for me.

I don’t think there’s anything cool about tempting someone who’s taken after you know they’re unavailable, and if that isn’t something you’d do then why are you acting like it’s perfectly fine since the tempter is single?

There should be a level of respect when it comes to people in relationships. Of all the fish in the sea, it’s ridiculous to make them the object of your desire with an intent to tempt. It’s just trifling.

[Asker]

**promoting it period

[Asker]

That’s where you and I differ, if an ex cheated, I don’t need to understand why they were selfish and just couldn’t let me go when they knew they wanted someone else.

[Kaneki05]

Just cause I think its fine to do don't mean I would do it myself that's two separate things.
Yeah sure they could find someone else to desire but what does it matter? If that guy is cheater all this means is they will just cheat with someone else? So based on outcome what does this actually change?

I don't see how it changes anything therefore I really don't see how it's their fault. It's the cheater fault and if I was the person cheated on that's literally all I care about.
I only care my partner cheated on me, not who it was because that don't matter. It's that simple.

[Asker]

It’s almost like you’re self soothing. Are these the things you had to tell yourself when you were getting over your ex? Become passive enough to where it doesn’t hurt anymore? It’s unfortunate really.

If you don’t have any feelings about the person who your ex cheated with then that’s fine, but I will always believe the side person was wrong as well. Doesn’t mean I’d blame them entirely, but some accountability has to come into play. If you disagree then that’s fine.

[Asker]

Anyway, it’s pointless going back and forth. You are entitled to your opinion and we can leave it at that.

[Kaneki05]

If that's your observation of me after this short debate let it be so, I told you it would be wrong though, cause that's not it I've thought this same from way before that.

Yeah I really don't have any feelings for them as they aren't the one who cheated on me. So it's not what upset me. What upset me was them choosing to cheating and that's all I care about in this situation.

[Asker]

I wouldn’t say this is a debate because I’m not interested in trying to make you see my side. I’m explaining why I think it’s wrong, as you are with why you think it’s right. At the end of the day it comes down to moral compass, and yours is just more ruthless and cutthroat than myself and many others. You’re passionately representing a mindset that uplifts single individuals who carelessly tear relationships apart, despite saying you’d never personally do it. It’s quite absurd but you are entitled to that way of thinking. It is just not for me and we can leave it at that.

[Asker]

Does it take a great deal of passion and/or care to place accountability upon a person? I can say “you are wrong for pursuing a taken person” without a shred of care for the side person. It’s an acknowledgment and a statement, an observation.

[Kaneki05]

This whole thing is a debate you've been a urging your point to me for a while and so have I to you in which we both conflict and are trying to convince each other so yes that's a debate.
Once you state why someone is wrong and start going back and forth on it's a debate lol.

And I would like to say mine is more logical like I originally put. I know there is many who take the emotional side getting triggered at the person who they cheated with, but rationally that's never made sense because logically it don't. That's an emotional issue other people commonly have.

My thoughts have always been different to people cause I try to see things logically of course I am not devoid of emotions so I do take into account that at times, but a lot of times people get irrationally upset over the thing that didn't matter.

So you see my point as absurd, but I see yours as absurd as mine's a logical view yours's is a emotional view. That's it really and yeah we can leave it at.

[Asker]

Sorry but no, it’s not a debate. I am not trying to convince you of anything, just sharing my thoughts. You’re the one pushing this idealogy and turning it into a debate because of the multiple times I’ve suggested we end this conversation on an “agree to disagree” note, you rebuttal was if you can’t help but to continue with this point.

I don’t think there’s anything logical or practical about saying that the side person is faultless. I also don’t understand why you push an ideology that you wouldn’t even perform yourself, allegedly.

There is no logic in cheating, or partaking in it. So we will keep differing in that respect as well.

[Asker]

**as if you

[Asker]

You’re acting like putting accountability on the side person has to come from an emotional place of being triggered, which aside from being such a huge gaslight on your end, it just isn’t factual across the board.

If I witness one kid steal from another, I can reprimand the child that stole without feeling angry, confused, upset, or anything else “emotional”. I can point out the wrongness without a great deal of care, and that is just something you don’t seem to understand. The fact that you make it as though you have to feel the same rage for the side person as you do for the actual ex that cheated is just nonsensical.

[Kaneki05]

I keep responding because you keeping arguing things that are against my point, to the point you are now even debating whether this is a debate or not... Do you not see the obvious error in that?
So you can tell me I am the carrying on the debate but it's you who is and started it so okay lol.

You might think there is no logic in it. But what logic is there in getting upset at the person they cheated with, rather than them? There isn't therefore it's pointless to do so. So yes logical to not care.

[Asker]

Again, why do you insist that there must be some great deal of emotion towards the side person to hold them accountable?

[Kaneki05]

That kid did something wrong cause stealing is wrong, yet we've already agreed I don't see the other person doing anything when it comes to this situation of sleeping with someone so it's not the same.

Also If your pointing something is wrong but don't really care then why care to point it out? Seems a moot point. Tbh this maybe a me issue but I care about things with more passion than that.

[Asker]

Sigh, you do know what examples are, right? The example is absolutely fitting because at the end of the day, it is me saying that I can hold someone accountable without a great deal of care, and that is quite literally it.

Notice how each time I have said “great deal” of care? Because obviously there is some amount of it, but it does not have to be excessive in order to act on.

If you’d like to shake the men’s hands who your exes cheated with, maybe clap them on the ass and have a drink as thanks then you go right in ahead buddy lol I will always say that it’s fine to hold a side personal accountable and that’s that.

[Kaneki05]

Guess you just don't care about things like me. I care more than that if something is wrong to me it means more than that.

[Asker]

I can care enough to hold both of them accountable during the healing process, and then move on.

[Kaneki05]

Yeah cause you see one as not that bad but bad enough to hold accountable which don't make sense to me.
As I am one who has to think it's really bad or I don't care and this falls into my don't care box rather than the it's really bad box. I don't have a box that it's bad but I don't really care but will still hold people accountable to it.
So I can't understand that.

[Asker]

It’s okay for it not to make sense to you, it doesn’t have to. Just as I don’t understand why there has to be excess anger in order to hold someone accountable. I wouldn’t pat the side woman on the back or feel content when I’d think of her. In my mind, I would say she was wrong for carrying on with a taken man no matter what, and if you think that’s wrong then I don't know what else to say.

[Kaneki05]

It's not really anger it's just more passion about it. I don't get angry very often tbh so yeah it's not anger when I find something to be wrong it's just more I feel more strongly about it or I don't.

[Asker]

And it doesn’t make sense to you if someone doesn’t necessarily feel strongly about that situation but still hold the person accountable? It’s like you’re saying it has to be one extremity or the other with a neutral ground not being plausible.

[Kaneki05]

Pretty much, just how I work. I don't see much point spending time worrying about stuff if it's not the thing I find to be passionate about. I am for passionate about not agreeing with cheating, meanwhile the other person nah.

[Asker]

That’s fine, everyone is different and I politely disagree.

[DizzyDesii]

Very normal back in Hs and college

[Asker]

So true😭 what’s your opinion on a woman who knows a man is taken but still chooses to pursue, with her justification being that stealing someone’s partner is normal where they live?

[DizzyDesii]

Its always wrong but back then it was a challenge

[itsclearlynicholas]

Hey it probably happens more often than we know 😜🤣 there's one thing they're not telling us ahahahahaha

[Luckycharms12]

It happens. But id avoid that drama not for me rather someone nice quiet enjoy each other's company no drama

[sawno]

Common but I wouldn't call it normal.

[BadApple69]

Happens all the time.

[ChicoFromThe305]

It's not normal it's just fucked up

[9in_Serpent]

Probably pretty common if i had to guess

[noohair]

Steal? You can't own a person.

[bobalife]

It’s never okay…🙄

[Anonymous]

All is fair in love and war.

[Asker]

Glad you decided to stop by! Hopefully these opinions show that what you’re doing isn’t normal, and you should do unto others as you’d want done for yourself.