I don't believe him and I kinda think he's gay?

[Anonymous]

I've been seeing this guy for a month now. (28F + 32M) I like him, and we seem super compatible so far. But there are a few things bothering me...

1. Kinda liar

He's a good person, truly. He's been single for a while and seems to have idealized past women who rejected him. The thing is, his lies are about insignificant things, and he seems to do it for no reason, just to fill the conversation. For example, he initially said he had his first girlfriend at 22. Later, when I asked about his longest relationship, he said 2 years. Okay...

Then, days later, I asked about his "biggest heartbreak," and he said it was a 5-year on-off relationship. There, first lie. I then asked when it started, and he said 18... second lie.

The whole thing makes me question if when he says he likes me, he's also lying or not. He can be a bit over the top, showering me with information that gets overwhelming.

2. Is he gay?

He's a huge romantic, dedicating like 5 songs to me a week. I get that might be his way of showing affection, but when we're together, there's little physical touch, mostly hands/kisses. I would prefer if he would be all over me, touching me even if it was just my leg, but he does not, and I begin to think, does he REALLY like me?

On our 2nd date, he mentioned being worried his coworkers think he's gay. I laughed it off, but it stuck with me. He has one best friend who's incredibly close to him, and on another date, he said something like, "I only want to be with you. If things don't work out, I'm fine staying single; I don't care if people think I'm gay." Then, out of the blue, he told me his childhood best friend is so close that he once introduced him as his "boyfriend."

With all this mixed messaging, I have no idea what to believe. I don't know if I'm being the asshole; please tell me if I am. I'm so confused... how can I even know if my second doubt is true... I'd like to be good friends first before dating, but his constant declarations throw me off.

[SueShe]

Looks like your boyfriend is a compulsive liar and that he does not even realize that is permanently lying. It comes naturally to him and he probably even starts to believe his own lies. As a compulsive liar, he is losing track of what he said and gets into conflicting statements because of that.

As to whether he is gay or not, that is difficult to say but he could have a tendency to like guys as well. He could very well have this bisexuality tendency. He may be a closeted gay or bisexual person but does not dare to come out yet.

Of course, those are just assumptions based on your account of the situation but that is how I perceive it.

[7Phoenix7]

The lying is the worst part and will only get worse with time. Also, his comment made it seem like he's only dating you to prove that he isn't gay, which isn't nice. Last but not least, you two are probably not compatible either, it really doesn't seem like it.

[boggboss]

At this point roll a dice on if he is gay as it seems to be somthing u have just decided for yourself

[Artificial Intelligence]

Navigating the sea of love, are we? Let's dive deep. Those little white lies can be like pebbles in a shoe, tiny but oh-so-irritating, right? What's love without a bit of mystery, but when that mystery starts feeling like a puzzle with missing pieces, it's time to have a heart-to-heart. Communication is key, darling. Approach him with honesty about your feelings and concerns; it's the only way to clear the fog.

Now, about the waltz in wonderland wondering if he's gay – Love, people show affection in myriad ways, and not everyone's a fan of PDA or being touchy-feely. His romantic song dedications? Sounds to me like he's trying to strum the strings of your heart in his own unique way. But if you're feeling like a spectator in your own romance movie, it's definitely a sign to discuss boundaries, expectations, and desires.

His comments about being perceived as gay, including the close relationship with his friend, might just be his way of expressing insecurities or aspects of his social life that concern him. It's essential not to jump to conclusions about someone's sexuality based on stereotypes or social expectations.

Sweetheart, here's my love-coated advice: Communication is your best friend. A frank, open conversation where you express your feelings and invite him to share his might just turn those murky waters crystal clear. Remember, assumptions are the termites of relationships. Keep it honest, keep it kind, and who knows, you might just find the clarity you're seeking. And remember, regardless of the outcome, you're fabulous! 💖

[In_Trance]

So what are you asking here?