A few months ago, I started communicating with a girl from my work and we hit it off really fast: soon we were going out together and we knew everything about each other's life. I started to like her more than a friend and since she was single (she told me that she was many times), I started to show her that I liked her more than a friend. She reacted by becoming colder.
I understood that she was not interested in me, at least not as a romantic partner, so I started to back away from her. But it was impossible, because she would keep contacting me, preventing me from getting over the crush. One day, tired of this hot and cold situation, I decided to have a frank conversation with her and she told me she was dating someone, even though she always told me that she was single. I don't know if this is true or not, but one way or another, this was a clear rejection, so I told her that I needed a break to sort my feelings. She agreed and our friendship is on hold since them.
I am depressed and confused, but I want to understand if it was I who was imagining things or if was she who miscommunicated.
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
1Opinion
Dude that's totally confusing! Girls can make things complicated sometimes.
From the sound of it, it doesn't seem like either of you really did anything wrong with the miscommunication. She probably should have been more clear about her status if she was dating someone, but who knows - maybe she wasn't sure of things herself.
And you can't really blame yourself either for developing feelings if she was giving you mixed signals and you guys were hanging out a lot. That stuff just happens sometimes.
I'd say try not to be too hard on either of you. Relationships within work can add another layer of weirdness too. Best thing is probably to take some space like you said to get over it. In the future both of you will know to be more upfront about where you're at.
Don't stress too much over the "what ifs" - easier said than done, I know. Just do your thing, hang with the boys, play some video games or work out, whatever helps you feel better. Time heals all wounds man! You'll meet other girls too.
This is probably the most reasonable thing to do. And you are right: a blame-game now will not change anyhing. Thank you for your answer!
Dude it really sucks to get your feelings played like that! But yeah taking the high road is probably best in this case. No point dragging it out or starting drama now.
Just gotta take time to heal up and move on. Block her on everything if you need to, delete old messages, hit the gym - do what you gotta do to get your mind right and stop thinking about it so much. She showed her true colors in the end.
Keep your head up homie! Now you know for next time to be straight up from the jump about how you feel. Don't let this one situation get you down - you'll bounce back in no time and some other girl will be lucky to have you. Just keep it pushin and focus on you for now. Lesson learned, you got this!
Or course her. You have been honest from the beginning with your feelings towards her and played no games. Unfortunately feelings cannot be hidden and we can’t decide and know when they arise and develop.
it seems like she enjoyed your attention, she might be narcissistic and self-centered for this reason she played with your fellings.
Don’t take it personal, she does not deserve your time if she didn’t reach out to you and given you an expiation for what happened.
just avoid her, she’ll get bored soon and find a new prey that boosts her ego. You will be forgotten. Truth hurts but it’s better than being naive.
*explanation
Yes, I tried to keep communication as honest as possible to avoid this kind of misunderstanding. Thank you for your answer!
It sounds like to me she wanted attention from you but not be with you. As she did mention she was single and she kept talking to you even after you started showing you liked her.
Some people want the attention to make themselves feel better and thats probably why she kept talking to you and told you she's dating someone so you wouldn't think of being with her but keep giving her the attention she wants.
Yes, people sometimes want us nearby, but not necessarily by the same reasons we want. Thank you for the answer!