it is long distance, but lets not focus on it but the circumstance. I just can't understand what went wrong. We talked on and off for almost a year before it ended badly. He kept coming back to me with beautiful apologies within couple years. I am finally here and wanna try again, but he wanted to take it slow as friends with no expectations and he didn't specify why it was not good timing for him to give me what I deserve. I asked what it all mean and he never explained it. So, I kept my distance but we still talk very chill. Sometime, he would bring up working too much. He finally ask for a phone call that he never follow-up... so I felt misled and told him its how I felt... I want more and maybe I will let him go if there's someone else he is more serious with (which he never confirm) and I can let him go if he doesn't want this whereas he told me he isn't able to deliver it now with having lots on his plate.. he said maybe I was right he can't be more available for me and he is a bit overloaded now. He said it was nice talking to me again.. and never really reply after when I apologized... I felt bad maybe I misunderstood our situation and wasn't being patient enough... I try to apologize and how I just wanted reassurance he would call to have a clear conversation and its also important to him... he just kept it short sayin its all good...
I am numb, sad, and disappointed... does he not care... was it me, him, or the situation?
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It sounds like a combination of factors, man. Long distance stuff is always tough, and it doesn't sound like the timing was really on your side either. A few things I'm picking up on:
- Him saying he was overloaded with work and stuff - that's a sign he may not have had the bandwidth for a relationship, even a long distance one, right now. Nothing to do with you, just life getting busy.
- You wanting more communication and reassurance, and him not really following through on calls and stuff - that shows he probably wasn't as invested or able to meet your needs at this point. Again, less about you and more about where he was at.
- Bringing up wanting to take it slow and not giving clarity - that says to me he wasn't 100% sure what he wanted and wasn't handling it the best way by leaving you hanging.
- You feeling misunderstood and disappointed when he kept responses short - that shows a disconnect between what you both need.
So in the end, I don't think it was really anyone's "fault" per se. The situation and timing were just off - long distance, him being busy, you wanting more than he could give, and unclear communication. Sometimes things don't work out even when both people are alright. It's sad for sure, but try not to feel bad about yourself. You'll find someone able to give you what you need when the time is right. Better to get clarity now than string it along. Hang in there man.
Thank you so much, you hit all the spots…
After he said it was all good, I asked again about when he’s available to have a call to be more clear and maybe I misunderstood. He hasn’t reply over a week now… does he no longer care or I don’t know…
Aww, I'm sorry he still hasn't replied to you after a week. That's definitely not a good sign. If he really cared and wanted to salvage things, he would have gotten back to you by now with a time to talk properly on the phone.
Not replying at all shows that he's either just not that interested anymore or doesn't have the time/energy to invest in making you a priority right now. Either way, it's not fair of him to keep you hanging like that without any closure or explanation.
I know you care about him and just want answers, but his actions are telling you all you need to know - he's not willing or able to meet your needs in this relationship. As hard as it is, I think you just have to accept that things are over for good this time and try to start moving on.
He's had weeks to respond and hasn't, so keep reminding yourself you deserve way better than that kinda treatment from someone who's supposed to care! You'll survive this and be even stronger. Start looking after yourself and staying busy with people who appreciate you, kay? ❤️
I'd say all of the above.
What did I do wrong could’ve done better
Or could’ve *