Why are friends with benefits becoming more popular than traditional relationships?

[jack1924]

Updates

12 d

Would you be involved in such a relationship?

[Finchie40]

Because most people in general are selfish people that only really care about , what is best for themselves , Most people want their cake and want to eat it to , I blame social media and porn for warping peoples’ mindsets into thinking everyone is a cheater , everybody backstabs and betrays each other. Sadly this could be true , but in most cases it is not. This sort of thing shouldn’t be a reason to not give your heart to someone , that is clearly giving you their heart in return. I prefer FWB’s with girls’ nowadays , mainly because how society is today with selfish people. We can’t beat them , so we might as well join them. I have dated so many selfish girls’ that lied and said they wanted to fall in love and wanted to settle down , they kept their word in the beginning and things were great. , but after sometime , they got bored and thought the grass was greener on the other side , mainly when she felt she had a better opportunity arose before her. , I am not saying all girls’ are this way , because there are a lot of guys’ that are this way as well. So it’s better for me to have a FWB’s with a girl so we aren’t rushing into a commitment, basically giving
Each other time to really get
To know each other while having fun together. FWB’s works if you are both on the same page with things , I. will only be FWB’s with a girl if I am the only one she is screwing , and I do the same
For her as well, I don’t like taking the chance of catching STD’s or AIDS. , so if her and I are on the same page , I am all about FWB’s. , we are both allowed to date other people as well , but if one of us wants to sleep with someone else , we both agree that we end the benefits part between us and just remain friends or acquaintances Sometimes the 2 of you will end up together and sometimes one of you will meet someone else during your time together. Just the way it goes but all in all ,! no one really gets their heart broken because you sre both on the same page and don’t feel rushed to commit to someone you really don’t know that much about , Most people are
Infatuated with each other when they meet someone new and interesting, once that infatuation period runs it’s course you both will either choose to stay together or go your separate ways , FWB’s eliminates that because it gives the both of you breathing room

[jack1924]

It was really nice reading your point of view👍🏻

[Vesuvius87]

Married people are more likely to work things out after that infatuation period fades than those that are just dating (prolonged girlfriend and boyfriend or casual) though.

[Finchie40]

True , but marriages aren’t always that great either , , a lot of
Marriages take a turn for the worst
And end in divorce , why it’s best to not marry someone until you both are
Truly sure you are both in it for the long haul , why I feel people should never rush into marriage with anyone , until you both really Know for sure that you both want each other for the long haul not the short haul by living together , and really getting to know one another instead of just assuming it’s the right thing to do. Bottomline all relationships have their ups and downs and the only way a relationship will survive , is if both partners’ choose each other over everyone else on this world , your partner should be your top priority over everyone the same way they make you their top priority , . Most relationships end because of selfishness , , a partner decides all of a sudden they no longer want to be tied down to one person so they become selfish and act like they are single again. And end up having affairs or casual sex with other people without their partner knowing , they then go home to their partner and act like nothing happened , everything is fine and dandy , they lie to their partners face when they tell them they love them. But the thing is they don’t truly love their spouse , they love how to take advantage of their spouse , it’s a convenience to them , it’s not love.. Love only comes when 2 people choose each other , by having each others’ backs , by being honest with each other , by removing selfishness for each other

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Offers quick and steady sex without the responsibilities of a relationship which people like but friends with benefits is solely built on sex and lust and tends to be short lived.

[DaveJord]

Nialed it

[mandyfire98]

Could be for many reasons. Sometimes it could be people just don't want to put up with the demands of being in a relationship and are just looking for more relaxed care free situation. Someone to hang with and have fun without the responsibilities and work that does come with relationships.

[Madlc]

Honest question, how would it be enjoyable to have sex with someone you don’t have feelings for?
Isn’t sex a bit messy and intimate!

[mandyfire98]

What type of feelings? Lust? Love? Physical pleasure? Physical attraction?

Of course sex is intimate but intimate doesn't mean love. There are different forms of intimacy.

How would it be enjoyable? Do you find masturbation enjoyable physically? Are you in love with your hands?

[Madlc]

Masturbation isn’t intimate, it’s just self pleasure that most of the time makes the person feel like crap after.
As for lust (attraction), of course I feel attracted to the person and I would possibly fantasise about her but that doesn’t mean I would feel comfortable enough to sleep with her in real life.

I guess people are different and it’s hard to understand other people’s prospectives.

[Whitedog1]

Unfortunately this is becoming more popular. Psychologically, sex (or benefits)
open hormones in many women causing them to seek a permanent relationship with the partner.

[jack1924]

Very true

[DaveJord]

Don't buy into all this talk about selfish people, loss of morals BS.

Because you want to hook up, and not have to deal with the texting, phone calls and expensive dates. Its sex without expectation... its honest, straight forward and legit.

Marriage is today, you are virtually signing away 50% of your assets, and equity in every asset you obtain over the course of the marriage. Do not talk prenup to me, because that is BS as well. Lawyers can poke holes in that as well.

Dating is a hassle. Were the man has to prove his value and worth to woman or vice versa. All for what? Love and commitment? So you can get a little taste?

Nah, fuck that.

[Phoenix98]

Society, people are more selfish I suppose, people want to have their cake an eat it to, no one is willing to put in the work and commitment, no responsibility a staple of the current generation it seems, among other things.

In the end all its gonna do is breed more deviancy, degeneracy, more broken homes, single mothers, single fathers who'll raise kids that will probably end up following the same fucked up path their parents did, an endless cycle.

It's just sad and pathetic to me.

[MisterWack]

Friends With Benefits is probably becoming more popular as people progress towards acceptance & understanding & explaining sexual awakenings instead of pretending they are not there / feeling ashamed. Traditional relationships are as followed: boyfriend & girlfriend then marriage if things go smoothly then most likely children. friends with benefits crowd is for pleasure and experiencing their sexual desires before settling down with one partner. I don't know just my perspective could be due to p*rn online, movies, romance novels, etc. that could be bringing out our inner desires more.

[DishLady]

Not really. It's just that one generation is extremely confused about the pan-genrdoral spectrum so they're sleeping with everyone till they can "find themselves" — it's the 60s-70s all over again, but now pot is legal.

[jack1924]

A new point of view.

[DishLady]

Hope it’s helpful.

[jack1924]

For sure. It’s actually a very valid one. Thank you.

[Sevenpointfive]

because guys don't need to pay for pussy anymore and girls do need to pay for hot dick. but it's typically ugly people still paying for both and no relationships ever happening. it's not about finding someone to settle down with in the long term. it's a temporary reprieve of your situation until it gets better to move on.

we've taught our children to use people. the current climate doesn't help that much because it's exacerbating the problem and will make it much worse... with no return in sight.

[Vesuvius87]

Too many people just want the infatuation stage that involves the benefits of romance and sex without worrying about responsibilities within commitment if you're no longer fantasizing/lusting about them 24/7.

[At3mis24]

I don't like the way relationships are taking nowadays, it's getting worse and worse! Cheating is normalized, almost all men had sexual intercourses with their woman friends... So that's finish definitively for me: I left all this part of my life and stay alone.

[jerdanro]

I can relate.

[JacobJordan]

For your update never in a million years would I degrade myself that much.

[jack1924]

Couldn’t agree more.

[dustybiker2]

Marriage is becoming an archaic custom. Doesn't fit the character of the up and coming's. Most lack respect, commitment, compassion. Three things marriage requires from both sides. Marriage isn't an instant gratification that modern tech instills. It requires nurturing and effort. It's too easy to say "screw it I'll stick with hooking up"

[KostasKouvalis]

Studies have found that the average person gets bored with their partner after 12 years. Some people want to keep their options open, and they want to keep having fun without having to make a huge commitment or responsibilities. Especially since divorce is so complicated, so if they feel they might end up cheating, it's best if they don't get married in the first place

[Sharkstealth]

Because this land is the land of disrespect for everybody and everything now. I live in the Northern Cascades beautiful country with lakes and rivers all around me. The human population are destroying natural waters with fecal matter that's causing viral infections. Most people don't trust anyone anymore and would never get in to a relationship where they know that they will only be used.

[blueonblack22]

It’s funny how women generally dislike the with the phrase “friends with benefits” nowadays and instead use all these modern euphemisms like “open relationship” and “ethnically non-monogamous” now.

It’s all the same thing. But semantics and labels somehow magically change everything.

[Ironic_Method]

friends with benefits is completely different than ENM, which is adjacent, but not the same thing as an open relationship.

[blueonblack22]

@Ironic_Method it’s all semantics. You are either in a devoted relationship or your not. Of course you can be good friends with someone you are sexually involved with. But if you are messing around with other people then obviously your aren’t completely satisfied with what you have nor are you devoted.

All these new “modern” relationship terms are just mental gymnastics to make people feel less guilt and shame for messing around. They just want the “optics” they are in a solid relationship and still have the freedom to mess around.

[Ironic_Method]

It's really hard to take anyone seriously when they don't even know basic grammar.

[LazerBean]

That's just what happens when a society degrades. But no, I would never do such a thing, nor would I choose to associate with someone who did.

[Passerby2]

would you do it if you knew there werent heavenly rewards for not doing it

[LazerBean]

Yeah, definitely. At the end of the day, if heaven isn't real then I still have a nearly perfect life and they still have a dysfunctional life and a bunch of baggage caused by that dysfunction. I'll pass on that

[Passerby2]

How do you know it's dysfunctional

[LazerBean]

Because of the percentage of people who are divorced, damaged from failed relationships, or have children who are screwed up because of those failed relationships.

[BIZARRE_TRUTH]

i think thats just you bro
thats definitely the minority of people
most people want companionship
id say its about 5:1

[jack1924]

I know. But I believe it is more now than before and I prefer real relationships for sure.

[BIZARRE_TRUTH]

well. perhaps its who you are socializing with.
try meeting some new people, or trying eharmony
eharmony is awesome

[jack1924]

No, I am not struggling with establishing a relationship, I am only point on something I noticed it is more recently. Thanks for the advice though

[Filthy_Immigrant]

not sure where it is popular cause here where I'm from its not. women here in my aread demand real relationships and thinkg being a friends with benefits is exploitation

[jack1924]

Which country?

[Filthy_Immigrant]

United States

[jack1924]

👍🏻👍🏻

[Filthy_Immigrant]

the northeast, the section where the most miserable citizens of the country reside in

[jack1924]

Believe me there are miserable citizens everywhere in U. S.

[Princesspd]

Because often time people just want sex without the commitments. As a married woman, I have my husband and kids, but I have sex with other men for the thrill.

[mistershy94]

is it worth it? what if he finds out?

[Princesspd]

@mistershy94 oh he knows. He might not known it every time but he knows I have been with other men.

[mistershy94]

so how is that a thrill if he knows? sounds like you're in an open marriage

[Princesspd]

@mistershy94 no I am not. He refused to have an open marriage.

[jerdanro]

But he lets you cheat?

[Princesspd]

@jerdanro he has no choice. He either divorce me or let me have an open marriage. He wouldn’t do neither.

[jerdanro]

@Princesspd sounds like your husband has a self-esteem problem. Or he's having sex with other people too.

[Anonymous]

Because most people are not worth investing in anymore. They will trade you in at the drop of a hat for any reason. So at least with a f*** buddy the only thing you lose is a bed partner, an acquaintance. That's fairly easily replaced. It doesn't decimate your finances, friends, social structure etc.

[PeachyPie93]

People are stupid but also being in a relationship sucks so, dumb people doing dumb things lol. No I wouldn't want that type of relationship I rather be alone.

[OfMiceandMen]

I think people like to have the sex part with no strings attached so they can focus on other things rather than constantly trying to keep a relationship intact.

[OfMiceandMen]

As per the update: I've tried it in the past and the woman I was with agreed that we would be the only ones. She did not want multiple friends with benefits which was great. It lasted about a year and half. I may consider it again.

[Telekinetic-Potato]

Because people lack patience and relationship skills.

That and bad expectations for relationships.