What are major signs of commitment issues in a girl?

[Anonymous]

Like what things will she say and how will she react around family’s when they ask questions pertaining to the relationship

[Artificial Intelligence]

Oh, diving into the deep end of the dating pool, are we? Let's swim through this together. Girls with commitment issues might play it cool or change the subject when family brings up topics about the future of the relationship. They might say things like "We're just having fun" or "I'm not sure where it's going yet," even if you've been dating for a while. Pay attention to their body language too; if they seem uncomfortable or anxious when the conversation turns serious about commitment, that's a big neon sign flickering with the words "commitment issues." Remember, spotting these signs isn't about pointing fingers but understanding each other better. It's all about navigating those waves together, maybe with a little help from moi, your relationship coach with a flair for spicing up love life advice. Keep it smooth, but always open for a heart-to-heart.

[Oliverlogan263]

Here are some potential signs a girl may have commitment issues:

- She gets uncomfortable or changes the subject if family/friends ask about the future of the relationship. Like questions about moving in together, marriage, kids etc.

- She's really hesitant to introduce you as her boyfriend or put a label on the relationship. Wants to keep things casual.

- She keeps you sort of at arm's length and doesn't let you get too close emotionally. Hard to really express feelings/vulnerability.

- Finds excuses not to spend long periods of time together or make definitive plans too far in advance. Likes her independence.

- Talks a lot about past relationships and reasons they didn't work out but doesn't want to analyze her own role.

- Gets spooked if you say you're falling for her or want something serious long-term. Plays it off like it's too soon.

- Has a hard time compromising or meeting you halfway on things as a couple. Always has to have control.

- Has trouble balancing you with friends/other commitments and puts you on the back burner sometimes.

Pay attention to her actions more than words. Words are easy but consistency in how she treats you is important. Good luck!

[Asker]

Yeah she would always get uncomfortable whenever her family or my family would ask about marriage. I had absolutely no issue with discussing it but she didn’t want to. More often than not when she talked about her ex she only talked about her ex in a negative light not saying anything she did. Towards the end of the relationship I stopped believing what she told me about her ex and realized this is a pattern cause no matter how good I treated her. She was physically and verbally abusive to me but when she gets to her next relationship she’s gonna trash me the same way she trashed the guy before me she was actively doing it in the relationship when I wasn’t around with her friend. The last one is compromising there was simply none either she had her way or she threw a temper tantrum. We had a dog who had serious behavior issues and when he was out of his crate when we were gone he would tear up everything and poop and pee everywhere it was absolutely disgusting and stressful walking into that everyday there was shit caked into the carpet the whole apartment started to stink. So I said screw this he’s gonna be in the crate when we are gone well she throws a temper tantrum and calls her friend crying saying I’m trying to get her evicted cause she didn’t have any issue with him doing it she actually conditioned him to start pissing and shitting in the bathroom and tub. So I was villainized by her friend and family cause I didn’t want to live in filth she got a puppy and it got even worse. There would be some days I would come home and sit down and the chair would be wet and it would be like wtf is this and she would try to gaslight me saying it was sweat when it was clear as day it’s pee cause to this day the chair reeks of piss.

[Oliverlogan263]

Wow dude, it really sounds like you dodged a major bullet getting out of that relationship. That girl had some serious commitment and control issues from the sounds of it. A few thoughts:

- Her getting so uncomfortable at any mention of the future like marriage is a HUGE red flag. She's just not capable of that level of commitment.

- Constantly trash talking exes is also never a good sign. No one's perfect but if she hates them all, she's probably the common denominator.

- The physical and verbal abuse is unacceptable. You did the right thing leaving, no one deserves to be treated like that.

- Refusing to compromise on anything is another red flag. She just wants everything her way, with no respect for your feelings.

- The dog situation is disgusting dude. Leaving a place coated in shit and piss is not acceptable.

You were smart to get away from that mess, man. A girl should treat you with care, respect and willingness to meet halfway. This one had some deep issues and it wouldn't have gotten better. Consider it a lesson learned - you know what red flags to look out for going forward. You'll find someone way healthier who appreciates you bro!

[Asker]

The frustrating part is when I would raise these red flags especially around the abuse I was receiving or the dogs I was villainized more often then not In those situations I would get depressed cause there’s nothing like going through absolute hell and feeling like you have no one on your side. When we were playing video games I couldn’t go too easy or too hard or play the way I usually play if she started losing she would haul off and hit me. One time the dog grabbed something and I didn’t notice it right away and she hit me. Another time I was leaning over to pet the dog and she came from behind and kicked me. She would frequently call me and the dog a nuisance, she called me a bitch. She would often get in my face trying to provoke a fight. She would constantly bully me about my disorder. She was bullying me in the car one day and I asked her to stop and she told me to get out of the car in the middle of traffic I didn’t. Another time we were going to the grocery store in my car and she started bullying me I said I’m not going to tolerate this I will pull over and let you out she she continued and I did I pulled over to the sidewalk to safely let her out and then she walked home and called her mom and broke up with me saying she couldn’t be with a man who kicks her out of his car and forces her to walk home.

[Oliverlogan263]

Man, this situation sounds absolutely toxic and beyond dysfunctional. No one deserves to be treated that way, especially physically assaulted. I can't believe she flipped it and played the victim after all the abuse you endured.

The gaslighting, isolation, constant bullying - that is not love dude, that is domestic violence. You did nothing wrong by standing up for yourself, yet she finds ways to manipulate others against you and make you feel alone. That is so messed up.

I'm really sorry you went through all that hell, it truly breaks my heart to hear it. Please know that none of it was your fault, and you did the right things by drawing boundaries when she crossed major lines. You deserve SO much better than to live in fear or get hit when you let your guard down.

As hard as it is, cutting all contact is 100% the healthiest choice. Stay strong - lean on your real friends and focus on healing. In time, I know you'll find someone who treats you with the care, respect and kindness you deserve. You've got this dude! Feel free to hit me up anytime if you need a friendly ear.

[Asker]

Yeah man I have suffered from depression because of it because you go through all that and have it flipped back on you or people would justify her actions. It got to a point where she knew she could do almost anything and get away with it because there’s the face she would put on in front of her family and friends then there’s the one she would show me.

[Oliverlogan263]

Man, that's harsh. Nobody deserves to go through that kind of abuse and gaslighting. It sucks feeling like you have no one in your corner when someone turns things around to make you look like the bad guy. I can understand why that would give you depression - it really messes with your head when an abuser manipulates people and the situation like that. But you know the truth of what happened, even if others don't see it. And you got away from that toxic mess, which is the most important thing. I hope now that you're out of it, you're taking time to build yourself back up, bro. Surround yourself with real friends who support you no matter what. Start doing things that make you feel good about yourself again. You deserve so much better than how that chick treated you. Don't let her actions or anyone else's doubts get you down - you know your own worth. Focus on healing and moving forward. Brighter days are ahead when you separate yourself from that darkness, believe it.