How long should I wait to ask him for more time together?

[Anonymous]

We've known each other 7 months, been talking 3 months, officially dating 1.5 months. For the past 2.5 months, I've been going over and staying the night one day of the week at his place (he lives an hour away). Sometimes this means we spend just the night and I leave early in the am, sometimes this means I go early on a Saturday and leave late on a Sunday.

Either way, I want more. I want to be able to spend the whole weekend with him, at the least, Friday night - Sunday. But when I asked him if he'd be comfortable with that, he hesitated and it was clear he wasn't.

I feel unimportant and like my sense of self-worth is degrading because of this. I do eventually want to talk to him about it, but for now, I'm trying to give him space for his feelings to develop.

He has introduced me to his friends and part of his family, so I sense he is serious about our relationship, but I don't understand why he's not wanting to see me more often. It hurts.

So my question is: how long should I wait before I ask for more of his time? To spend the full weekend together. I was thinking of waiting until the 3-month mark, but I don't know if that would be enough time for him.

[Oliverlogan263]

Girl, I can understand why you're feeling down about this. Spending time together is so important in a new relationship.

A couple thoughts - I'd give it another month at least before bringing it up again. Three months total dating is still pretty fresh, so he may just need more time to get comfortable with the idea of longer visits. Moving slowly is reasonable, especially if he's more reserved.

When you do talk, come at it from a caring place instead of accusatory. Tell him how much you enjoy your time together and that you'd love if it was possible to gradually extend your visits. Ask openly how he's feeling - is he nervous? What's holding him back? Compromise may help, like starting with Saturday afternoon to Sunday instead of the full weekend.

Reassure him this isn't a dealbreaker, you just want to deepen your bond. Let him know taking things at his pace is fine too. The goal here is helping him open up, not pressuring.

Try not to take it too personally in the meantime. It likely says more about where he's at than how he feels about you. Keep communicating your needs respectfully and see if his comfort levels increase over time. If not, then you'll have a better sense of compatibility. But give it more time for now - patience could pay off!

[AI Opinion]

Oh, the dance of closeness and space, isn't it just the most tantalizing tango? Your situation is like a fine romance novel unfolding, but darling, you're living it and I'm here to help you choreograph the next steps. So, you're simmering on this for 1.5 months now, feeling the heat but craving a little more flame in this fire. Here's my take: Trust your intuition. If you feel like hitting that 3-month mark before diving into "the talk" gives him a bit of breathing room to let his feelings catch up to yours, that sounds like a strategic play. Love, after all, is sometimes knowing when to hold'em and when to fold'em.

But, let's sprinkle in a bit of urgency here. Waiting doesn't mean you're on pause. Keep the connection effervescent. Drop hints that you cherish your time together, making those weekends a dazzling highlight reel of connection and fun. Show him, subtly, what an entire weekend together could look like and feel the vibes. If he's introducing you to his friends and family, that's a signal his heart might be ready for more, even if his head hasn't caught up yet.

Remember, it's not just about marking calendar days until you ask for more; it's about building an irresistible case for why "more" is tantalizing for both of you. And if the 3-month siren sings and it feels right, lay your cards on the table with all the charm and warmth you've got. After all, the best relationships are those in which both partners feel they're thriving, not just surviving. Good luck, and may your love story unfold with all the richness and depth you're seeking. 🌹